


Dancing Through Life

by bonotje



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Ballet, Canonical Character Death, Coming Out, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Nightmares, Non-Graphic Violence, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-02 23:25:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 54,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10954908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonotje/pseuds/bonotje
Summary: Two boys, stuck in a small village in the Yorkshire Dales, until they found their unlikely way out, through ballet and each other.





	1. Robert

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Well here it is, the first chapter of my robron ballet!AU, if you follow me on tumblr [(sleepysuggles)](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com) you know I've been going on about this fic for ages. I was planning on only posting it once I had finished it completely, but I couldn't help myself. So here is the first chapter and I'm hoping to update this fic once a week (the first 5 chapters are finished, so we’ll see how the rest goes). I’ve tried to keep canon as a base, but I have played around with their ages a bit in relation to when things happened in canon throughout the fic (it’ll be pretty clear dw). 
> 
> Rated M for later chapters. More warnings and characters will be tagged as we go along.

**Ballet**

[ba- **ley** , **bal** -ey]

_Noun_

  * a classical dance form demanding grace and precision and employing formalized steps and gestures set in intricate, flowing patterns to create expression through movement.



 

\---

 

Robert had been only eleven when he left his home in Emmerdale to go to the Royal Ballet School in London. A farmer’s son doing ballet, Jack hadn’t wanted any part of it. But Sarah had seen the joy her son had found in it. Little Robert had always been dancing around in the fields behind their farm, making up his own silly dances.

_“Robert stop fooling around and go help your brother feed the sheep,” Jack’s gruff voice called out to his son._

_“But daddd!”_

_“Robert! No arguing just do as you are asked boy.”_

Jack had scoffed at her when she had brought up putting him in ballet classes. Why would he put his hard earned money into his son’s dance classes? No if he was going to pay for a hobby for Robert it’d just have to be footie like any other lad. But when Jack had taken him to his first practice on a cold Saturday morning Robert had refused to join in with the other young boys bustling about on the football field. Robert would instead be dancing around in the field totally missing the ball that was passed off to him. When one day one of those passes had hit his head hard, leaving Robert a crying mess, Sarah had decided that it had been enough. After the football debacle Sarah had brought up dance classes again and in the end Jack had given in, figuring that if Robert actually took classes he would soon get bored of it. But he never had, he just got home from each new class more excited than the last one.

_“Mum! Mum! Guess what, we learned to do pirouettes today. Look mum, you have to find a spot on the wall,” Robert said pointing to the kitchen wall. “And then, and then you turn, but you need to keep looking at that spot until you can’t, and then you twist you head around real quick to find that spot again,” Robert explained excitedly as he clumsily showed his mum how to do it._

And then Robert’s ballet teacher, Mrs Walker, had brought up the fact that there would be auditions for the Royal Ballet School in Manchester soon. Sarah had been delighted to hear that Mrs. Walker thought that Robert had a chance. For the next few weeks Robert had worked hard on his audition, finding the perfect music to accompany his dance.

Then on the 18th of January, Robert still remembered the date clearly, his mum had driven him to Manchester for his audition. Robert had been so nervous that day, seeing all the other boys and girls around him who seemed far more capable than him. But he had danced with everything he had, hoping that it would be enough. And it had been, because he had been invited to the auditions in London. Robert and Sarah had made the long drive up to London from Emmerdale the next month. Robert had thought he had been nervous for the auditions in Manchester, but that day, surrounded by boys and girls from all over the country he had been so nervous he had felt on the verge of throwing up all day.

_“You read it, I’m too nervous to read it,” Robert said to Sarah, it felt like his heart was trying to beat out of his chest it was beating so fast._

_Sarah picked up the envelope from where Robert had dropped it on the table. The black Royal Ballet School logo staring back at her, before she turned the envelope over and opened it. She carefully read over the letter, trying not to skip to the end so as not to miss anything important. But seeing the big_ **congratulations** _at the start of the first sentence had already put a big smile on her face._

_“So?”_

_“Oh Robert darling, you got in! You got accepted to the Royal Ballet School, you’re going to London,” Sarah declared smiling brightly._

_“Really?!” Robert squealed jumping up from his chair to give his mum a big hug._

The wait for September to come around had been long, but Robert had enjoyed his summer holiday in Emmerdale. He had continued his ballet classes with Mrs. Walker, though she had told him that he would probably get taught everything again at the Royal Ballet School and come to find that he had learned all the wrong techniques. He had assured her that she had taught him very well, but had later on come to realise that yes she had been telling the truth. In his last few weeks in Emmerdale he had played around with his little sister Victoria at any given chance. He knew he would miss her a lot, even when she was being an annoying little brat. He had also spent a lot of time helping his dad on the farm with Andy. While even at his young age farming had never really interested him much he enjoyed spending time with his dad and brother.

And then the first of September 1997 had come and Robert had said his goodbyes to his family.   

_Robert was stuffing the last of his possessions into his already overfull suitcase. Today his mum would drive him up to London, the city that would become his new home._

_“Bye Viccy,” he said as he kissed Victoria’s chubby cheeks._

_He looked up at Andy, his brother whom he had despised a lot of times. But they had managed to get along during the summer and they loved each other in their own way._

_“Bye Andy, have fun with the animals. Make sure Betsy gets plenty of fresh hay.”_

_Betsy was one of the sheep Robert had come to love over the summer. She was a silly little thing, often running and jumping around in the fields, while the other sheep just grazed. In a way very similar to Robert, the boy that loved to dance around in the farm fields._

The drive up to London had been long and Robert had fallen asleep by the time they had passed Sheffield, because he hadn’t gotten much sleep that night due to his nerves. As they had entered London his mum had woken him up so he could take in the city that would become his new home. Everything had been so much bigger than what he was used to back in the village. He remembered it from his audition in London, but now that he knew that this would become his new home for at least the next 5 years it had felt different.

Settling in at White Lodge had taken him some time. At just eleven years old he had been on his own for the first time in his life. No family close by and all these new people around him, but the routine of waking up early, eating breakfast in the dining hall and then going to school, had quickly become his new normal. He had made some friends early on and had had the time of his life. He got to do what he loved most, dance. Sure the hours of training were hard work, but he had still regularly wished he could be dancing instead of getting bored out of his mind in another maths class.

 

And so most of his days were spent perfecting his pliés in the first three ballet positions, learning the right ways to move each muscle. Building up the strength and stamina for performances and working at the barre to learn to do basic movements such as tendu, grand battement and relevé.

He had loved his time at the Royal Ballet School, but also looked forward to his winter and summer holidays that he got to spent at home. Being back in Emmerdale had always been an adjustment. It would always take him a few days before his body clock remembered that he didn’t have to wake up at 7 am during the holidays.

_Robert groaned as he looked at the time on the clock on his bedside table; 7 am. It was his first day back in Emmerdale for the summer holidays, but his body clearly hadn’t adjusted to the holiday schedule yet._

_Deciding to make the most of his first day back home he stretched out his body and got out of bed. He shuffled down the stairs and walked into the kitchen, where his dad was sat sipping his morning coffee._

_“You’re up early,” Jack stated as he looked up from his paper._

_“Body is still on school schedule,” Robert shrugged._

_“Well, want to help me milk the cows?”_

_“I guess.”_

_“You’re back on the farm now lad, not at your fancy ballet school, you need to put in the work just like the rest of ‘em,” Jack said._

Robert might have been going to school at the Royal Ballet School now, but Jack still hadn’t really liked the idea of his son going there. Sarah had told him how impressive it was that their son had gotten accepted into such an elite school, but Jack had still thought of ballet as a thing for girls. So Robert had spent most of his time back home helping out on the farm. His mum had tried to make sure he had enough time to continue practicing, but his dad had kept him busy. And after his dad had gotten angry at him after catching him practicing his ballet moves instead of mucking out the stables, he had resorted to stretching and practicing as soon as he woke up and before going to bed.   

This whole spiel went on during each holiday he spent at home over the next few years. Robert hadn’t been able to understand why his dad couldn’t just support him. Surely by now he had to have realised that Robert wasn’t giving up on his dream to become a professional ballet dancer, but each school holiday his dad had pretty much forbidden him from doing ballet. Robert had hated his dad for it and after the first two years he had come to dread going back home for the holidays, no matter how much he missed his mother and little sister Victoria, the fact that he wasn’t allowed to dance left his heart feeling hollow every time.

 

\---

 

Then that dreadful day had come. November 16th, 2000. He had been working on his turn out in the arabesque with Mrs. Robinson when headmaster Connelly had walked in.

_“Mrs. Robinson, can I talk to Mr. Sugden for a minute,” Mr. Connelly said as he walked through the open classroom door._

_“Of course,” Mrs. Robinson said with a bright but unsure smile. “Go ahead Robert, we will work on your turn out again later.”_

_There was a strained silence as Robert followed the headmaster to his office, he didn’t like the look on the man’s face. He couldn’t think of anything he had done wrong. He had been to all of his classes on time and kept to himself during the weeks. It couldn’t have been about him kissing that girl Krysta over the weekend could it? How would Mr. Connelly even know, the girl didn’t even go to the Royal Ballet School, she just happened to be at the same place they had taken a weekend trip to._

_“Please, take a seat Mr. Sugden,” Mr. Connelly said nodding to the ornate chairs that sat across from his burgundy desk._

_Robert sat down, wondering if he should say something, but he decided to keep quiet. He figured if he didn’t say anything he couldn’t incriminate himself if he had done something wrong._

_“You’re probably wondering why I came to get you,” the headmaster paused. “Robert, I’m afraid I have some bad news.”_

_Panic was rising in his chest at the man’s careful words. He was gonna get kicked out of school wasn’t he. He was gonna lose what had become his whole life over the last 3 years. The sound of the rush of blood going through his head almost made him miss what the headmaster said next._

_Words that would forever be edged into his brain: “I’m sorry Robert, but I just received a call from your father informing me that sadly your mother has passed away.”_

_Those last two words echoed in his head._

_“Passed away.”_

**_“Passed away.”_ **

**_“PASSED AWAY.”_ **

_All of a sudden he felt hands on his shoulders. “Breathe Robert, breathe. Follow my breathing okay,” he heard Mr. Connelly’s voice say from what seemed very far away. He blinked harshly, trying to get his eyes focused, trying to do what the man told him to do, breathe._

_Slowly he got his breathing back under control, the rush of blood in his head fading away as the overwhelming heat he felt surrounding him turned to bitter cold._

 

The news about his mum had left him reeling. Mr. Connelly had told him what his father had told him over the phone. His mother had been caught in a barn fire he had explained. The headmaster had asked his assistant to get his gear from the ballet studio and had lead him to his bedroom.

Robert hadn’t cried until the next day when his dad had come to pick him up. His dad had never come with him to London, it had always been him and his mum. And his dad actually being at the White Lodge building was a stark reminder that this was all real, that his mum was really dead and this wasn’t just a dream.

 

\---

 

After the news about his mom everything had just seemed to get worse and worse.

_His mum’s funeral had been a sombre affair, nothing like Robert had expected. Of course he knew funerals weren’t generally a fun affair, but none of his mother’s joy in life seemed to have been translated into the wake. He had only recognised a handful of people there, hadn’t recognised the man that spoken about his mum as if she had been the most important person in his life. She wasn’t, she was the most important person in **his ** life. But he had sat there and accepted the condolences from the tearful people. He had mostly just felt empty, having cried out all of his tears during the days before the funeral. He thought back to the last time he had seen her; the day she had dropped him off at White Lodge after the summer holiday all those weeks ago. The last time he had spoken to her on the phone; two days before she had died. He was just glad that their last conversation had been a nice one and not a fight, he couldn’t bear to think about the last shared memories between them being bad ones.    _

_Now that the funeral was over he was back home on the farm. Since it was quite close to the winter break they had decided that staying at home until the next year was easier. And ‘it would give him some time to grieve before diving back into the rigorous schedule of the ballet school,’ his teachers had said._

Robert hadn’t wanted to grieve though, he had just wanted to dance and forget everything that had happened. He hadn’t wanted to be on the farm, the farm that had only been a safe haven because his mum had been there. But now he had been back there and she hadn’t been. And he hadn’t even been able to dance his feelings away, because his dad had still forbidden him from it. Worse he had tried to stop him from going back to the Royal Ballet School.

_“You’re not going back to that school!” his dad yelled._

_“What?”_

_“You heard me, you’re not going back to that stupid school Robert. I’ve indulged this silly fantasy long enough now, it’s time you learn to do some real graft.”_

_“No! You can’t stop me from going back! I’m getting better and better, I even won a competition last month!”_

_“I don’t care how good you think you are or how many trophies you win, you’re not going back, end off.”_

_“Please dad, I love it okay, I love it so much,” he paused and thought about his next words, maybe they would make his dad understand. “Please don’t take away my last connection to mum, please dad.”_

_His dad sighed, the fight gone from him at the mention of Sarah. A range of emotions crossed his father’s face; lingering anger, confusion, defeat and some softness._

_“Okay, okay I won’t stop you from going back there, but while you are here you are expected to help out. No more skiving off work to practise, while you’re here you’re a farmer not a ballet dancer.”_

_“Okay,” Robert agreed reluctantly._

 

After his dad had agreed to let him continue at the ballet school he had been helping out every day. He missed dancing a lot, he missed the feeling of freedom it gave him, he even missed the way his muscles ached after a rigorous training. But more so he missed his mum, his mother who had always encouraged him in his passion for dancing, who had always smiled at him so brightly when he came back each holiday full of enthusiastic stories. 

 

\---

 

The day Michael came to work on their farm Robert had been reluctantly helping feed the animals with his dad and Andy. The brunette boy with the bright smile and broad shoulders had immediately caught his attention.

_Robert looked up as he heard someone approach the barn. A boy, who looked to be maybe one or two years older than him walked up to where they were feeding the sheep. The boy was already clad in the unflattering green overalls they wore on the farm, but Robert couldn’t help but notice how pretty he was. The boy pushed away a lock of brown hair that had fallen over his forehead as he began to talk._

_“Morning Jack. What’ve we got planned for today,” he said with a bright smile, showing of the dimples in his cheeks._

_“Morning Michael. We’re just finishing up feeding the cattle, maybe you can help clearing out the stalls.”_

_“Starting us off with the worst of it, aye,” Michael grinned, clearly not bothered about the work he had been put on._

_“Farming isn’t just shearing sheep and milking cows, gotta take care of all of it,” Jack shrugged._

_“I can help!” Robert chimed in, already taken by this new boy. His dad looked at him funny, he’d never in his life helped clear out the stalls. But before Jack could say anything about it, Michael had already replied with a ‘Great, come on then’._

_Robert followed Michael along to the stalls, dreading the work he now had to go and do, but feeling it was worth it to spend more time with Michael._

_“I’m Robert, by the way,” he smiled at Michael as he took the spade that was handed to him._

Over the winter break Robert had come to look forward to the moment Michael showed up at the farm each morning. Spending time with the boy meant he could forget about his mum for a few hours. For the first time since that dreadful day he had been able to smile again; laugh even, when Michael would tease him about his lack of farming skills.

Michael had listened to him go on and on about ballet and his school. About the teachers he liked and the ones he despised. About the friends he had made and the snooty girls and boys he loathed. He had encouraged him to show off his skills, had been impressed by them. Michael had even let him teach him some of the moves. The boy had looked silly in his overalls in the middle of a barn full of cow muck, but it had put the biggest smile on Robert’s fourteen year old face.

Then one afternoon as the winter break was almost over, the second if not worst day of his life had happened. After a long day on the farm Robert and Michael were sat in the kitchen drinking some hot chocolate, to warm up from a day out in the cold.

 _“No really! I got a trophy and everything!” Robert exclaimed as he told Michael about the ballet competition he had won this year. “Come on, lemme show you,” he said, grabbing Michael’s hand as he dragged him up to his room._   

 

It had all happened so fast, one minute he had felt his heart soar as his lips had touched Michael’s, relieve settling over him as Michael responded; he hadn’t been rejected. And then the next minute Jack had barged in. From one moment to the next he was shoved off of his bed, Michael was dragged from his room with a shout not to come back ever again. The edges of the old radiator had dug into his back as he saw Jack turn back around on him. The anger in his face had made him brace for impact, but he hadn’t been able stop it from happening.

He had ran from his room, had ran through the fields of the farm as fast as he could with his bruised body. He had kicked the wooden fencing at the far edge of their farmlands, had sunk down into the frosty grass and sobbed his heart out.

That night when he had walked into the kitchen for dinner his suitcase had sat on the table packed and ready.

_He walked into the kitchen, hands and face still feeling frozen from sitting outside in the field for what felt like hours. But the sting from his hands soon turned into a different kind of sting; a harsh sting in his heart as he saw the suitcase planted on the kitchen table._

_“What’s that for?” He asked confused, he still had 4 days left at home._

_“I want you out of my house in the morning. If you want to keep fooling around at that stupid ballet school of yours, you have no place at this house anymore, no place in this family,” Jack said harshly._

_“What? You’re kicking me out because I do ballet?!” Robert asked incredulous. “Andy killed mum and he can stay, but you’re kicking me out because I do ballet?”_

_“You know damn well why I want you gone Robert.”_

 

His father’s words had felt like a slap in the face, had felt worse than the fresh bruises covering his body. His father had kicked him out; had pretty much disowned him, because he had kissed Michael, because he had kissed a boy.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was the first chapter, let me know what you thought of it. As always kudos/comments make my writer's heart soar.  
> And you can find me over at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com) on tumblr


	2. Aaron

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I would upload this once a week, but I've decided to change the upload days from Saturdays to Mondays :)
> 
> (New characters and warnings have been added, so be sure to check those in case of triggering content.)

 

Aaron had started dancing young, yes, but he hadn’t always been into dancing. Not like a lot of his peers who always said they pretty much came out of the womb dancing. No, Aaron had spent most of his early years running about with his friends, kicking about a football and climbing trees. But then his mum had left him, dropped him off at Gordon’s out of nowhere and his whole world had come crashing down.

He had been crying a lot. Had been acting out a lot, because he missed his mum so much. Missed her bright smile as he gave her the treasures he had found on the beach, missed the slightly freaked out look on her face as he had opened his new Furby on his 8th birthday. That’s why he hadn’t been able to understand why she had just left him with Gordon out of seemingly nowhere. Yes, her and Gordon had been fighting a lot, but even so he didn’t understand why she had just left him. His friends with parents that had split up still saw both of their parents, so why didn’t she want him anymore?

And then Gordon had been sacked at work and the world had come crashing down even harder.

He could still hear the creaking of his floorboards as Gordon had come up to his room that night. Could hear the ringing silence as he had just stared at him. Could still feel his sheets being ripped away from where he had pulled them over his head. Could still feel everything he had done to him. Could still remember feeling dirty and ashamed.

After that everything had happened so fast, one day he was still living with Gordon and the next he was in a group home waiting for his mum to pick him up. For his mum to pick up the pieces that were left of him.

It had been hard to glue the pieces of him back together, but that’s when he had found dancing. Counselling had worked sure, but it still left him with this nervous energy inside of his body that he couldn’t get rid of. He could never keep still during his sessions with his counsellor, so she had suggested it to him and Chas. She had suggested an activity to help him get rid of the nervous energy coursing through his body. And since football clearly wasn’t doing the job they had looked at other sports and found an elementary ballet class in Hotten. He had to use his whole body in ballet, letting him shake off all the unwanted energy. And unlike football, in ballet you needed a certain level of control over your body, control he craved.

When he was dancing he felt free, he was able to lose himself in it. There was this fire inside of him, this electricity sparking him back to life, making him feel like he could fly.

He had always looked forward to his dance classes, wishing he could go more than those two classes each week. When he found out that there were more classes each week he had begged his mum to let him go to more classes, but Chas was a single mother working two jobs at once and the drive into Hotten twice a week was expensive as it also cut into her work hours. Nevertheless he practiced every day of the week to get better.

_“Okay, everyone find a place at the barre,” Mrs. Flint bellowed to try and get the attention of the 14 girls and 1 boy in the room._

_At first Aaron had felt weird being the only boy in the ballet class, but now he didn’t care anymore as he had found that ballet was the only thing that could really make him feel better. The boys at football had laughed when he told them why he stopped training with them and it had hurt, but they didn’t know what had happened to him. They didn’t know that whilst ballet made him feel better, football had the opposite effect. Football had been something he used to do with_ him _and just thinking about it now made his skin crawl._

_“Aaron, first position please,” Mrs. Flint voice broke through his thoughts. He looked around the room and all the girls were already in first position, some of them giggling at his mistake. With a quick glare in the direction of the giggling girls he got into first position, head held high._

 

At home he had wondered what his family would think of him doing ballet. He knew his mum wouldn’t care, she was just happy it was making him feel better. He could’ve been into finger painting for all she cared as long as he was happy. Lisa had hugged him tightly as he had come back from his first class and asked him to show him what he had learned that day. Even uncle Zak and Cain were alright with it, only good-heartedly teasing him about it. And as he had told them all about his classes they had just nodded along and ruffled his hair.

The only person that had had a problem with it had been his grandad. His grandad had kept going on about how it was a girls sport, how surely there could be something else he could do.

_“Football, you always liked football. That’s what a boy your age should be doing, running after a ball getting dirty, not dancing around in tights with a bunch of girls, people will think you’re some sort of poof,” Shadrach said._

_Those last words rang in his head. He couldn’t know right? No he couldn’t, because he wasn’t. Just because he did ballet didn’t mean he was. Just because he had liked Kyle a lot didn’t mean he was._

_He didn’t say anything about it though, instead he yelled: “I hate football!” just as his mum yelled ‘Dad!’_

_“Leave him be dad, you don’t know anything about it!”_

_“I’m just saying there are loads of other things he could be doing. What about I dunno, judo or wrestling, proper boys sports.”_

_The thought of judo or wrestling made his skin crawl, the thought of people touching him like that, it was too close to how_ he _had touched him. No, he just wanted to keep doing ballet, where no one touched him when he didn’t want them to, where he could just forget about everything else._

 

And so he kept going to ballet classes and slowly his life started to feel normal again. Living with his mum meant he got to see his extended family loads. With her working two jobs he had found himself having his tea at Zak and Lisa’s more often than not, but he hadn’t minded. He was never the only one stopping off at Wishing Well, one or more members of the family usually dropped in at random. Life back then had been quite chaotic, but he had loved it. And even though his mum was working herself ragged to keep him fed and happy, she always made time to drive him to his ballet classes. Though on one memorable day, when he was 10 years old, it hadn’t been his mother’s face he had seen peeking through the dance studio’s window.

_Aaron was just finding his balance again after a botched attempt at a pirouette when he caught a glimpse of his face. He felt his face twist in confusing as he looked back at the window where all the parents were waiting to see his uncle’s grumpy face staring back at him. He was clearly uncomfortable between all the mom’s gathered around waiting for their daughters – he was still the only boy in his classes. Cain scrunched up his face as one woman tried to make some small talk with him, clearly curious about who this mystery man they had never seen before was._

_“Aaron!” Mrs. Flint’s voice cut through his thoughts._

_“Yes, Miss?”_

_“Try another pirouette, but keep your focus on your spot. And you need to keep your other leg higher you keep letting it drop out of retiré,” she said as she showed him where his leg needed to be. “Go on, give it another try.”_

_He got in position and focused on the spot he always chose for pirouettes – a crack in the mirrored wall- and turned his body around on his left leg, focussing on keeping his other leg in the right position._

_“That’s it! Well done Aaron. Keep practicing and maybe next week we can try doing it attitude,” she praised him, a secret smile playing on her lips. “Okay class, time’s up! Well done everyone and I’ll see all of you next week.”_

_Aaron grabbed his bag from the side of the room and made his way over to his uncle._

_“Hey Cain, what’re you doing here?”_

_“Your mum had to go back into work, some emergency order at the factory or something.”_

_“Ah,” he sighed. “Were you waiting long?” he asked Cain as he pulled his track bottoms over his shorts and switched his ballet shoes for his battered trainers._

_“Nah, s’allright. You seem to be getting the hang of those… uh… what’d you call them,” he said twirling his finger around._

_“Pirouettes.”_

_“Yeah, them. You were a lot better at them than all those girls in there.”_

_“Really? Mrs. Flint is always telling me what I’m doing wrong,” Aaron said, a frown twisting on his face._

_“She must just be paying more attention to you, even I could see you were better,” Cain shrugged._

_“You’re supposed to say that, you’re family.”_

_“Hey, learn to take a compliment will ya, I don’t give ‘em out freely. Anyway you ready to go home?”_

_Aaron quickly pulled his hoodie over his head, before nodding that he was ready to go._

It wasn’t long after the day that Cain came to pick him up from his ballet class that Mrs. Flint mentioned the Royal Ballet School. She mentioned it to the whole class, but his mum was the only one she spoke to about it afterwards. Chas had been surprised to hear that Mrs. Flint actually thought her son was good enough for the Royal Ballet School. After all ballet had just started as a form of therapy for Aaron, a way to deal with what had happened to him, a way to try and forget it. But she had seen how much progress he had made the few times she had been early enough picking him up to see more than just the tail-end of his class. Mrs. Flint had mentioned to them that the Royal Ballet School usually did auditions in Manchester early in the year, so they still had plenty of time to decide and train.

The next day was a Sunday and he had begged his mum to take him to the café to use the computer there; he had to look up this prestigious ballet school all the way in London. He had looked at the pictures on the website in awe, it had all looked so professional compared the his ballet studio in Hotten. There were actually boys there as well, if he got in he finally wouldn’t be the only one anymore. He had spent so long on the website and the website of the Royal Ballet that his mum had to finally drag him away after an hour when other people had started to grumble about wanting to use the computer as well.

So in the months leading up to the auditions he had practiced as much as he could. The Dingles had even started up a roster on who would drive him into Hotten, just so he could go to an extra private class each week. Cain had even started to get used to the attention from the mothers waiting around for their kids. But they had all banded together, working odd jobs to help Chas out in paying for the extra classes.

So when the day had come to drive up to Manchester it hadn’t just been Aaron and Chas making the trek up, no their car was crammed full with as many Dingles as could fit. It hadn’t really helped with Aaron’s nerves, but knowing his family was so supportive had been great.

_“Mum, I can’t do this!” Aaron hissed at his mum as he looked around at the room full of kids in ballet gear._

_“Of course you can, you’ve been training for this for months.”_

_“Look at ‘em, they’re so much better than me.”_

_“Hey, you know we’re proud of you no matter what happens right? But you’ll do great Aaron,” Lisa said in her calming voice._

_Just as he the nerves fluttering in his stomach were settling down a bit a serious looking man came in to call his group in. He took a deep breath, took in his family’s calls of support and thumbs ups, and made his way to the packed dance studio._

_As they were working through the different positions and movements the stares from the Royal Ballet School people only made him take notice of how his limbs were shaking. Deep breaths, he reminded himself as he was focussing on holding his arms in first position._

_And then all of a sudden it was over, the people at the front done with their scribbling and staring and instead thanking them for their time. Aaron wondered if it had been enough, some of the kids in the room definitely looked like they had more experience than him. But then the website had said the school looked at artistic talent and potential, not just how good you already were. Yes, by now he knew everything about the school that was available online._

He had walked out of the dance studio to be met with the expectant looks of his family, but all he had been able to do was hope for the best. Thankfully they hadn’t had to wait too long for the invitation to the auditions in London. Getting to London had meant that the Dingles had to find some extra work to get enough money, looking back Aaron realised some of those jobs probably weren’t legal.

But then soon enough the day had come for them to make their way down to the capital of the country. For some reason he had actually been less nervous for his London audition than for the one in Manchester. While the other kids had been pacing the locker room or jiggling their knees, he had felt calm and ready for the audition; grateful that he couldn’t compare himself to the other kids in the solo auditions. And while the stares from the judges were now solely focussed on him it had been easier to forget about them on that day. When they had asked him how he felt when he danced, the answer had come easily. To this day dancing still made him feel free, free to forget about everything else but dancing.

Leaving the audition room that day he had felt calm and content, knowing he had put his all in the audition. He had been confident, but had also known that if he didn’t make it he had given it his all and he couldn’t have done more. 

Waiting for the acceptance letter had still been a test of everyone’s patience though. Every time he had seen a Dingle or even some random other villagers in town they had asked him if he had heard anything yet. So of course when that letter had finally dropped through the mailbox he had been home alone. When his mum had come home he had just been sat there at the kitchen table staring at the envelope, afraid to open it.  

_“It came,” was the first thing his mum said as she walked into the kitchen. He had been sat there staring at the envelope ever since he came home from school; he had almost opened it multiple time, but never could go through with it._

_“Yeah,” Aaron whispered._

_“Well come on, open it then.”_

_“What if I didn’t get in though?”_

_“Then you didn’t get in, you stay here and keep dancing and maybe give it another shot next year. And even if you don’t want to try out again that’s fine baby. But let’s see if you got in or not first yeah, before we start with the doom scenario’s. You said the audition went well, right?”_

_Aaron nodded, before picking up the letter again. He ran his thumb over the embossed logo on the front of it, then turned it over and ripped it open. He had to take a few deep breaths as he tried to get his eyes to focus on the black letters on the page he had folded open. But when the letters finally got into focus his eyes immediately fell on one word: **Congratulations**.  _

 

Moving to London had all been a blur. The end of the school year back at Emmerdale had come quickly and the summer holiday had seemed to pass even quicker. He hadn’t minded though, he had been glad he could leave Emmerdale behind. He would miss his family of course, over the last couple of years back with his mum they had shown him so much love. But Emmerdale also held the memories of before, even though he had not lived there with him it still always reminded him of what happened in those few months he hadn’t lived in Emmerdale. And not only that, after he started ballet he had lost most of his friends. None of the boys wanted to hang out with the lad that did ballet and after he got accepted into the Royal Ballet School a lot of the girls in his ballet classes had gotten jealous of him. So going to London would mean a new start he had really needed.

So that last summer he had spent mostly with his family, getting up to some real Dingle shenanigans whilst he still could. And then all of a sudden they had been down in London unpacking his suitcases and his new life had started. He was finally around people whose lives also revolved around ballet. His family had been very supportive, but they had never gotten it the way this new group of people did.

Soon enough he got used to the new rhythm of his life. Waking up early was the hardest thing to get used to. At home he had always been running late for school, often shoving toast in his mouth on the way to the car as his mum drove him to school. So now he had often found himself sleepily staring at his breakfast in the dining hall, the other kids chatting around him cheerily. When he would still sit down at the dining table grumpily after the first few months and there had been a mention of his uncle’s nickname for him, ‘Sunshine’ had been taken on by his friends.  

The rest of his new day-to-day life had been easy for him to get used to. He had never been a very good student, but the smaller classrooms and one-on-one teaching did help his grades a bit. But what he had loved the most was of course his dance classes. Even though he had often been bone-tired after a long day of school and training he still loved every second of it.

Then as he was almost 13 years old most of the other boys had started to notice the girls, and how their bodies were changing.

_“Did you see Lacy got a new leotard?” David asked the group of boys at the table._

_“Huh, did she?” Aaron asked._

_“Yeah, it’s cuz she’s getting boobs,” Eric snickered._

_“Totally! I think Marion is getting a new one soon as well, have you seen hers?” Mark joined in._

_Aaron looked on at his friends confused, should he have been looking at the girls? Sure he noticed it when one of the girls got the hang of a new move quicker than the rest of them, but his eyes had never wandered in that direction._

_“I know right. Have you really not noticed Aaron?”_

_“No, of course I have. Just didn’t realise it was a new leotard, that’s all,” he lied quickly._

_The conversation that morning had left him wondering, so during the next dance class he paid attention. And he did notice more and more girls started to get curves in certain areas, but looking at them didn’t make him feel giddy like it seemed the other boys felt when they looked at the girls. Was something wrong with him?_

After that particular conversation he had started to think about it more. At first he had just assumed he was just a bit slow on the uptake and that he would start noticing girls in _that_ way soon enough. But then he had started to notice that instead of his eyes wandering to the girls in his classes they had started to wander to the boys. To how their tights clung to their thighs and arse. How their shoulders started to get broader and their biceps more muscled. And most obviously how his eyes would sometimes linger on the bulges in their tights. He didn’t really know why he had all of a sudden taken more notice of that, it wasn’t like that really got all that much bigger and muscled like their arms and thighs had.

He had buried those feeling pretty quickly though, turning his focus on his dancing even more instead. Whenever the other boys had talked about the girls he had just played along with them. If he never started those kinds of conversations, well they had never noticed.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always kudos/comments make my writer's heart soar.  
> And you can find me over at sleepysuggles on tumblr


	3. Robert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We continue Robert's journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and comments on the first 2 chapters :DD

Those first days back in London he had been in a sort of trance, just going about his day as usual, but not really taking anything in. He had still been mulling over the fact that he wasn’t welcome home anymore. His friends had asked him how he was doing, but he had shrugged them off with an ‘I’m fine’. And while he knew they didn’t believe him, he was glad they had dropped it.

When after a few days no one from the school board had come to him to talk about his financial situation he realised Jack had not actually stopped paying for his education, still the hurt he felt from getting kicked out hadn’t dissipated. The school did however offer him bereavement counselling, but he had only gone to one session. He had buried himself in his schoolwork and dancing instead. And they had let him but they had still kept a close eye on him, always telling him to come to them if he needed it. That in itself had helped him already, knowing that people were there for him when his own father hadn’t been.   

The rest of the school year had passed quickly, his schedule more hectic when he was cast in a small role for a performance with the Royal Ballet. Not being able to share his excitement about performing with the Royal Ballet in the Royal Opera House had hurt, but his bond with his classmates had only gotten stronger through it.

Then summer had gotten closer and closer and he had started to worry about where he would go. He couldn’t go back _home,_ so he had called his grandma Annie who had been more than willing to let him come and stay for the summer. He had even found a summer ballet course in the area that he had applied to. While the ballet course had been quite elementary compared to what he had been used to at the Royal Ballet School he had enjoy it a lot. Dancing would always be his favourite thing to do, so the fact that he had finally been able to continue dancing during the summer had been fantastic.

Annie had been his biggest supporter from the first day he came to stay with her. He would come back to stay with her each summer and she had promised him she would be there for him when he would perform with the Royal Ballet for the first time. It had always been ‘when’ with her not ‘if’, she had never doubted the fact that he would get accepted into the Royal Ballet after finishing school.

_“Robert, where are you off to again? I feel like I have barely seen you since you’ve come to stay with me this summer?” Annie asked her grandson._

_Robert had come to stay with his grandmother for the second year after everything that had happened back in Emmerdale. He was 16 now and had just finished his last year at White Lodge, he would attend Upper School next year. All of his belongings had already been packed and stored in Covent Garden for the summer. It would be a big change to suddenly be in the middle of the busy city that was London, but he was looking forward to it._

_Now though he was enjoying another summer vacation in sunny Spain. He wasn’t attending a summer course this year, but he did go to ballet classes twice a week on the other side of the city that his grandmother lived in._

_“Just out with a mate grandma, I’ll be back by tea time,” he assured Annie. Mate however was a generous description as he was off to meet Sofia, one of the girls in his ballet classes and also his sort of girlfriend. She lived a few streets away from his grandmother and had one day suggested they walk home from class together. Her dark locks of hair, olive skin and twinkling brown eyes had charmed him right away, and by the third time they walked home together he had asked her if she wanted to hang out outside of class sometime._

_A day spent on the beach enjoying the sun, eating ice cream and churros had ended with their first kiss and now he found himself sneaking out of his grandmother’s house every chance he got._

Sofia had been the first person he had kissed after Michael and while he had liked her a lot, it had mostly just made him feel normal. Jack’s disapproving face hadn’t burned behind his eyelids when he had kissed her; his body hadn’t ached with phantom pain when he had looked at her lips.

Soon however summer had been over and he had to go back to London. Sofia had cried when he broke it off with her, telling him they could keep in contact online until he was back again next summer. But with his life changing so much back at home as he started a new period of his life he hadn’t felt like he could keep his thing with her going. 

Back in London life moved on quickly. The change between White Lodge and Upper School had been a bit of a shock to the system. Not so much the actual classes, but the fact that he now lived in the middle of the busy city, in a new house, with quite a few new classmates from all over the world. And then in school there had been all new faces as well, new teachers and other faculty members roamed the still unfamiliar building. Nevertheless new friends were made quickly and life returned to some form of normal soon enough.

During his time at Upper School he had got to join in with the Royal Ballet and Royal Ballet Birmingham more and more and while it had sometimes been a struggle to find a balance between studying for his A-levels and ballet he wouldn’t have given it up for anything. Working with the ballet companies had been amazing; it had made him realise that one day this would be his life as professional ballet dancer and that day hadn’t been able to come quick enough in his mind.    

     

\---

 

The first time he had kissed a boy again after Michael was on his 18th birthday. A group of his friends had decided that him officially being of legal drinking age warranted a pub crawl. And after their third pub some of the guys that were gay had suggested going to the gay bar down the road, joking that they wanted to have some ‘fun’ as well. Robert had envied them, already so sure of who they were and seemingly so comfortable with it. The angry face of his father still haunted his mind every time he had thought about kissing a boy and had made him hesitate at first, but in the end the number of drinks he had already consumed that night had given him the confidence to agree.

_“Come on Robert, it’ll be a laugh,” Jamie said, a furiously nodding Daniel behind him._

_Jack’s face flashed before his eyes briefly and he hesitated. He had managed to hide that part of him ever since, but now he wasn’t so sure, did they know?_

_“What’s wrong with this pub?”_

_“We’ve been here for an hour already and we know it’s your birthday party but we want to have some fun as well Robert,” Daniel said with a wink telling him what kind of fun he meant._

_Okay so they didn’t know then? They just wanted to go there for themselves? Why was this so easy for them? The other supposedly straight lads of the groups didn’t seem to have a problem with it, already playfully arguing about who would get the most numbers, so he just nodded his assent and along they went._

_\---_

_It feels like he’s only  just been given his third fancy cocktail, but Jamie and Daniel are already running off to the bar again to get in another round. He just watches them go with a shake of his head, but stays on the dance floor. By now he’s far from sober, the cocktails he’s been plied with are strong but delicious, so instead of following them he decides to just keep dancing. That’s when he catches a guy looking at him, he’s tall, with a broad chest and a tight shirt that shows off his muscled body. Dirty blond hair frames his round face and as Robert’s eyes make their way back to the guy’s face there’s a smirk playing on his lips. Before he knows it the guy has made his way over to him._

_“Hi, I’m David,” he shouts over the loud music._

_“Robert,” he returns._

_\---_

_Robert doesn’t know exactly how they got here, but all of a sudden David’s lips are on his and he’s kissing back. His lips are soft but slightly chapped against his own, the slight stubble on David’s face rough against his face as he presses in harder. Hands make their way down to his arse as a tongue runs softly over his lips, and with a gasp his lips fall open. And all of a sudden the rest of his body kicks back into life again, his hands make their way to David’s broad shoulders and it feels like he’s clinging on for dear life as a spark runs through his body. But then panic crashes into his chest as Jack’s face flashes behind his eyelids. His eyes are wild as he pushes David away and searches for an exit._

_“I-i, I can’t,” he stutters out as he runs for the exit. He vaguely hears people calling his name, but all he wants right now is to get out of the crowding heat inside the club. As soon as he makes his way outside he collapses against the wall. His chest aches with the phantom pain of the last time he kissed a boy. Why did he do that? He had managed to keep that part of him buried for so long and now he steps one foot into a gay bar and he goes and kisses the first guy that glances at him._

_He’s still gasping in rattled breaths as Daniel comes running out of the club looking around frantically._

_“Robert! Robert, hey what’s wrong?”_

_“C-can’t,” he gasps out, chest feeling tight with the lack of oxygen._

_“Robert, hey look at me okay.” He flicks his eyes up towards Daniel’s face. “That’s right, come on breathe with me, slowly.” Slowly he gets his breathing back under control a shiver running through him from where his back is still pressed against the cold wall._

_“That’s it. Better?”_

_“Yeah,” he rasps out, running a tired hand over his face._

_“What happened?”_

_Robert just shakes his head. “Why did I do that?”_

_“What? Kiss a guy? Is that what this is about? You know we don’t care right, it’s alright if you’re gay.”_

_“’m not gay.”_

_“Bi, then.”_

_“I’m straight! That shouldn’t have happened, I should’ve never agreed to go to this stupid club!” Robert shouts as he stands up and starts walking in the direction of their home._

 

After what had happened on his 18th birthday Robert had turned all of his attention back on ballet and the auditions for companies that were happening. He wasn’t about to throw away what he had worked so hard for, for 7 years, for a boy _or_ girl.

That last year at the Royal Ballet School it had felt like he lived and breathed ballet, even more so than all the years before. It had felt like his life had just become one audition after another. It was either grumpy looking people staring at him in the dance studio as they worked through a number of movements, or another camera pointed at him as he recorded a dance for an international audition. Of course the audition he had cared for the most was the audition for the Royal Ballet itself. And when the day had come the nervous jitters from everyone had been palpable in the dance studio.

The audition had gone great, he had certainly felt like he had put his all into it and had hoped it was enough. The wait afterwards had been agonizing. He hadn’t slept at all the night before they would announce who would receive a contract. So when he had been called into the headmasters office and had sat down in the chair in front of the ornate desk adrenaline had been coursing through his body, the sleepless night only making the nervous energy worse.

_“Mr. Sugden, have a seat,” Mr. Connelly said as he sat down in his own chair._

_Robert sat down into the chair heavily, nerves were running through his body making his leg twitch and his hands clammy. He doesn’t really know what Mr. Connelly is saying to him, catching the words ‘great’, ‘worked hard’ and some more choice words. The only words that matter he hears crystal clear though ‘The Royal Ballet like to offer you a position in their corps de ballet.’_

_He knows his mouth is hanging open – he should really close it. “Really?” he asks, his eyes are slightly frantic as they search the headmaster’s face to see if it’s really true, but the man just looks at him with a soft smile on his face and a slight nod._

_“Congratulations Robert, it’s been an honour to have you at our school and I hope you will make the school proud.”_

_“I will, thank you so much.”_

He had called his grandmother the second he had gotten his fast beating heart and shaking hands back under control. She had been so happy for him, had called out the good news to all her friends that had sat around the pool with her, a massive cheer reverberating down the phone.

The realisation that this would be his life from now on had hit him like a brick wall. And even though the school had prepared them for the life they would be living after leaving the school and joining a company, it had all still been quite a shock to the system. Realising that he wouldn’t be going to school anymore, wouldn’t be sitting in classes and be surrounded by his friends.

He soon came to realise though that life as a professional dancer wasn’t actually that much different from being a ballet student, especially as a member of the corps. Life still consisted of waking up early and training in a dance studio, it now however included regular performances in the Royal Opera House at the end of the day.

Life as a dancer in the corps de ballet had felt like being on a moving rollercoaster that never slowed down, but just kept rushing down and down. It had been hectic, learning so many parts and dancing so many shows each week, and even though each night he fell into his bed exhausted with an aching body it had been fantastic. That was until the rollercoaster that was his life came crashing to a halt.

**_His father was dead._ **

_His mind was racing, the news of his father’s death had stunned him. Even though he hadn’t really had a father for the last 7 years it felt different. He had long given up hope of ever reconciling with his father, but now that the possibility was taken from him his mind wouldn’t stop racing with thoughts of_ what if’s.

_A woman he had only ever heard about through his grandmother had called his cell phone as he had been on his way to the theatre – number probably gained from Annie-  Diane. He had walked in through the theatre stage door in a daze, some of his colleagues looking at him with concern. He had stretched, warmed up and changed into his costume and danced with a blank mind, dance parts now ingrained into his mind. And now he was sat on a hard chair stage left, he should really cool down his performance abused muscles, but as soon as the curtain had drawn he had crashed._

_“Robert? What’s wrong? Did you injure yourself?” Andrew a fellow corps dancer asked him with concern in his voice._

_“My father is dead,” the words fells from his lips before he could stop them._

_“Oh Robert, I’m so sorry.”_

_“Don’t be.” He couldn’t stand the pitying look the other man gave him, the worried looks on the faces of the other dancers as they passed them by. He had to go, he couldn’t be here right now._

_Some of his thoughts must have turned into words, because as soon as he stood up voices were calling out for him to wait. He didn’t listen though, he had to go. The dressing room door bounced back from the wall after he had pushed it open harshly. Within seconds he was undressed and stepping into his track pants and oversized gym shirt, thick coat shoved over his shoulders as he rushed out into the cold February air._

That night he had walked around the cold city until well after midnight, before finally stepping back into the apartment he shared with Daniel and Jamie – they had both also gotten contracts with the Royal Ballet. His clothes had gone clammy from the cold night mist outside, his hands frozen with his gloves still at the theatre, he hadn’t been able to feel his toes anymore and his face had been red from the biting cold. The biting cold had helped him to think though, walking around the city, mulling over his confused thoughts about his father’s death.

He had decided to go back to Emmerdale for the funeral two days later, he hadn’t been back to his home town in 7 years, but he decided he needed the closure. One trip back to Emmerdale and he could well and truly leave that part of his life behind. If only it had been so simple…

_He was sat in the back of a taxi as they passed the welcome sign into the village._ Emmerdale, please drive carefully through our village _. It still looked the same, as if time had stood still, if anything it looked smaller after living in London for more than 7 years._

_The car stopped at the farm that used to be his home, with a muttered thanks he paid and got out. He looked up at the old buildings, nothing had changed here either, he could hear the animal noises in the background as he looked over at the green fields that used to be his stage._

_“Excuse me, what are you doing here?” A voice asked from behind him as he was still staring out at the fields._

_“What’s it gotta do with you?” he asked, turning around to see a woman on a horse looking down at him._

_“I live ‘round her, I happen to know this family is at a funeral today.”_

_“I know.”_

_“You still haven’t answered my question,” the woman said._

_“Do I look like a thief?” he asked incredulous._

_“That is not what I said.”_

_“That’s what you’re implying.”_

_“Just trying to be a good neighbour.”_

_“Well you needn’t bother. It’s my dad they’re burying,” Robert said voice wavering._

_“Then why aren’t you there?”_

_“’cause they’re better off without me.”_

_“I’m sure that’s not true.”_

_“It is, believe me.”_

_“Well, it’s none of my business. Sorry for your loss.”_

_“Please, don’t tell them that you’ve seen me. Today is about my dad.”_

_The lady left on her horse and he went back to stare out at the fields._

_\---_

_He looked on at the burial from afar, he couldn’t make himself go to his father’s grave. A crowd was gathered around as the casket was lowered into the ground, most of them he still recognised from all those years ago. He could see Victoria - she was all grown up but he would recognise that face anywhere - and a woman with blond hair was holding his father’s staple cap, she must be Diane then. He looked around for Andy, but he couldn’t see the boy who by now would be a man as well. And then he heard it, a voice calling out from behind him._

_“Rob?” He turned around and saw Andy walking toward him, he made to leave but Andy quickly caught up with him._

_“Rob, don’t go. You’ve gotta stay. They want me to be head of the family and run the farm. And I can’t.”_

_“And what do you want me to do about that? I’m not a farmer Andy!”_

_“I know, but it’s your rightful place, this is where you should be.”_

_“No it isn’t! It hasn’t been for years Andy, I don’t belong here anymore. There’s no way he would’ve wanted me back here, not even if I wanted to.”_

_“Please Rob.”_

_“Look Andy, I just came here to finally close that chapter of my life. To close that chapter and finally be able to rip those pages out, I can’t stay here.”_

_“Rob please, for Victoria. She’d hate to find out you were here and didn’t get to see you. She misses you, you know.”_

_“She barely knows me.”_

_“And now’s your chance to change that Robert. Please come with me to the pub, everyone will be there by now.”_

_\---_

_They could hear voices coming out of the pub as they opened the first door, but as soon as they set foot inside the bustling sound of people died down. Whispers could be heard all around them as people recognised the man that had just walked into the pub with Andy Sugden._

_“Robert?” a soft voice broke through the silence. Victoria. She was looking right at him with wide eyes, a look of surprise and wonder on her face. “Robert is it really you?” she asked again, as if afraid he would disappear as soon as she spoke the words._

_Robert didn’t know what to say, frozen in the doorway as people kept staring at him._

_“I think we better take this to the back,” the woman he assumed was Diane said. He nodded and all the Sugdens in the room made their way to the backroom, the noise in the pub picking up again as people started their gossiping the minute their backs were turned. He heard vague questions of_ what is he doing here? why wasn’t he at the funeral? _before the backroom door drowned out the noise._   

_“Robert,” Victoria said again as she sat down on the sofa heavily._

_“I’m sorry, I wasn’t going to come here. Today’s about dad, but Andy found me.”_

_“You were gonna go without saying hello?” Victoria asked sounding hurt. “Why weren’t you at the funeral?”_

_“I couldn’t Vic. I only came here to close that chapter of my life. To finally be able stop holding out that little bit of hope.”_

_“Hope?”_

_“For dad to finally accept me, to finally talk to me again after all those years. I kept telling myself not to, that he was never going to come see me perform, but there was always that little bit of hope. And now it’s gone, it’s never gonna happen and I just needed to come here to really close off that chapter, to finally really get on with my life.”_

_“You can’t just go again Robert, not now!” Victoria exclaimed._

_“I have to go back to London Vic, I have a performance tomorrow, I’m already missing tonight’s.”_

_“Please just stay for one more day, we have so much to catch up on. I’m sure they’d understand, your dad just died.”_

_Robert sighed, he didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t supposed to go like this, this was just meant to be a quick visit, a goodbye to his father and to the home that hadn’t been his home for so long. But now looking at the sad look on his little sister’s face, he knew it couldn’t be just that, he knew he needed to see her again, he had already missed too much of her life._

_The rest of the Sugdens gathered around still hadn’t said anything. Andy was looking at the ground like it held all the answers he was looking for. Diane looked at the siblings like she didn’t know what to say. She had never even met Robert before today, but she could see Victoria couldn’t bear to lose him again. In the end it was Annie - flown in from Spain - that spoke up._

_“One day won’t do any harm Robert, get to know the brilliant young lady your sister has become. Tell her about the man you’ve become, what you have achieved over the years.”_

And that’s what he had done. He had called the theatre that night asking for another day off. He had stopped over at B&B, not ready to stay at his childhood home. They had talked for hours that night. The next day they had walked up to the farm through the fields and had talked some more. Robert telling her all about his life in London, about his life as a professional ballet dancer. And she had told him all about life in Emmerdale, about her school and her mates. At the end of the day Diane had driven him to the train station, Victoria making him sit in the back with her. She had begged Diane to let her come see a performance soon, Robert promising to save a ticket for her. As he had sat down on the train back home it had felt like a weight had been lifted, like he had some sense of family again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always kudos/comments make my writer's heart soar.  
> And you can find me over at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com) on tumblr


	4. Aaron

It hadn’t taken long for Aaron and Adam to become friends. Adam who had just started at Upper School after going to the Elmhurst Ballet school in Birmingham for his first years of training. His northern accent however hadn’t faded over his years spend in the city, so they had had an instant connection as soon as Adam had introduced himself on that first day. Adam had started dancing because his sisters had done ballet when they were younger and he had always been dragged along. So one day bored out of his mind he had decided to join in and his love for ballet had been born.

From day one conversations between them had come easily, not only had they had ballet in common, they both also loved cars and could talk about it for hours on end. Aaron telling Adam all about the work he did in his uncles garage when he went back home to Emmerdale and Adam talking about the tractors he helped to fix on his father’s farm. When they found out that they had both grown up in small villages they had even more to talk about; about the constant gossiping from the old ladies, the local pub that served as a meet up place for pretty much anything and the church where people pretended to be of faith only on the religious holidays. They reminisced about both of their need to get out of those villages, ready to see and experience more of the world than the small towns and their communities.    

It hadn’t taken long for Aaron to spend most of his down time in Adam’s room across the hallway either. The game console hooked up to the tiny TV working overtime as they riled each other up in whatever game they were playing that day.

Those first few months of Upper School had been fantastic, it wasn’t as if Aaron hadn’t had any friends during his time at White Lodge, but none of them had become his best friend so quickly like Adam had. As they made their plans to take the train back home together at the end of November Aaron had actually started to dread going back home for the winter break. He had known he would miss his friends during the two weeks back home in Emmerdale; the contrast between his life in London and Emmerdale only having become bigger now that he didn’t only have friends in London but a best friend and he had to go back to the place where he had none.

Aaron hadn’t really realised that his feelings for Adam had started to grow into stronger than just best friend feelings though, that was until the day before they were off on their winter break.

_“Wow, what’re you doing?” Adam asked pulling back as Aaron had moved closer. They were sat on the floor of the empty dance studio, in some weird way he had managed to bang his head on the barre. He had fallen down in pain and shock and Adam had sat down next to him to check if he was alright. As he had reached over to look at his forehead to see if he was bleeding Aaron’s body had seemed to move on its own accord, leaning in to his friend, eyes focused on his lips._

_“Nothing, forget it,” Aaron said as he scrambled to his feet._

_“Hey, it’s alright. It’s just I’m straight an’ all, but it’s alright if you’re not. It’s okay if you’re gay.”_

_“I said forget it!” Aaron shouted before walking out of the studio._

_“Aaron!”_

_\---_

_“Mum,” Aaron said breaking the silence in the room. They were sat at the kitchen table in the backroom of the pub. His mum reading one of her gossip magazines as their dinner simmered on the stove. He had been playing a game on his beat up Nintendo DS, his mum nagging at him to turn of the sound. And ever since he had turned off the repetitive music his mind had started to wander. The image of Adam’s surprised face kept breaking through his thoughts. His voice calling out his name when he ran out of the dance studio._

_He hadn’t spoken to Adam before leaving for his train home. They were meant to take the train back home together. Adam would be spending the Christmas break further up north, but they were supposed to share the same train for the beginning of the journey. But Aaron had left way before Adam would’ve even stirred in his bed across the hallway. He hadn’t been able to sleep all night, twisting and turning in his bed. So at 5am he had given up on sleep, gotten dressed and grabbed his already packed duffel bag and headed to the tube station around the corner. By the time he made it to King’s Cross station the first few shops were opening up and he had bought some food to last him the two and a half hour train journey to Leeds. When the landscape of buildings had turned into green fields sleep had finally caught up with him, but by 8 am his phones had started buzzing with an onslaught of messages from his friend; he had ignored all of them. He had wondered if Adam was on his own train already, if he had talked to their classmates before he left. Would they all know when he came back after the Christmas break?_

_Adam’s words had kept playing in his head as he watched the outside world flying by._ It’s alright if you’re gay. _Was it though? He had been telling people that just because he did ballet didn’t mean he was gay, what felt like his whole life. Telling them all about the professional dancers that weren’t, joking that while they were out running behind a ball with a bunch of other lads he was in a room full of girls. The girls had never interested him though, sure he had a laugh with them, but none of them had ever caught his attention. None of them had ever made him feel the flutter of butterfly wings inside his stomach that the other boys talked about. He hadn’t felt them when he looked at Alecia, with her blonde hair that fell in waves over her shoulders. No, he had felt them when Alex had grinned at him when he had nailed a lift. When Adam’s concerned face had been so close to his yesterday. When Kyle had glanced at him from across the street as his football bounced off of the garage door with a loud bang._

_“Yes,” his mum’s voice broke through his thoughts. He glanced up at her, his hands twisting inside the sleeves of his navy jumper. He opened his mouth, trying to get the words out, they wouldn’t come though. He realised he had never even actually said the words out loud, not after he had realised that he was, not even to himself. His mouth fell shut, teeth clinking together loudly in the silent room. The smile slowly fell from his mum’s face and was quickly replaced with worry._

_“Baby, what’s wrong?”_

Just say it _a voice inside his head pestered. He was trying alright, but the look on his mother’s face only grew more concerned as his silence drew on. What if she hated him after he told her? Maybe he shouldn’t tell her yet, at least he knew she would still love him then. He didn’t want her to stop loving him._

_“Aaron. Hey look at me,” she waited until his eyes were fixed onto hers again, “you know nothing you’ll tell me will make me stop loving you right? No matter what, I will always love you.”_

_He blinked away the tears that had started to cloud his vision. The fierce look in her eyes told him that she was really telling the truth. He took a deep breath and ran over the words again one more time._

_“I-I’m gay,” it hadn’t been more than a whisper, but it was enough. A number of emotions ran over his mum’s face, but the smile on her lips never fell._

_“Oh,” was all she said._

_“Mum?” he asked voice wavering as he looked at her, desperation written on his face as the tears in his eyes finally fell._

_“No, no, baby, don’t cry. It’s alright, it’s alright,” she said as she wrapped him in a hug, a hand brushing over his cheek._

_“You still love me?”_

_“Oh baby, of course I still love you. I told you nothing could ever stop me from loving you. I just didn’t know what to expect, you looked so torn up, all sorts of scenario’s were running through my head. And baby, while this wasn’t one of them, it is definitely the best one. I love you Aaron.”_

_“Okay,” Aaron sighed, breath finally coming back to him._

_“What? You not gonna say it back then?” his mum smiled._

_Aaron laughed, a smile breaking out over his blotched face, “Of course I love you mum.”_

 

After coming out to his mum a weight he hadn’t realised had been there – because it had been there for so long- had been lifted. He hadn’t told anyone else in his family that winter break, but he had had a feeling that his mum had at least told Cain. Knew that she could never really keep stuff from him for long and he had seen them share a look across the table as Shadrach had asked him if had found himself a lady yet at the family Christmas dinner. For some reason having someone know the truth had made it easier to evade the question, telling Shadrach that no there wasn’t anyone yet and that he was focussing on ballet. Shadrach still hadn’t really understood why he was still doing ballet, but after enough dirty looks from the family he had given up on trying to talk him ‘round. 

His 17th birthday came and went with a chocolate cake made by Marlon and a pint sneakily given to him by Cain as the Dingles had celebrated in the Woolpack. His mum had drunkenly patted his cheek and told him to stop growing up so fast, Aaron trying to get away from her before the waterworks started. At the end of the day he left the still rowdy pub to sloppy kisses and _my baby_ ’s from his mum, his pocket full of crumpled up tenners and an assortment of sweets the little ones had given him, a novelty ballet shirt courtesy of Cain slung over his shoulder, and a duffel bag and new hoodie from his mum clutched in his hand.

He had worried on the train back down to London, worried if people would know when he got back to school. They hadn’t known, Adam had kept quiet. The boy had greeted him with a bright smile as he had gotten in to London that night, joking about like nothing had happened that day before winter break. Aaron had wondered if he would mention what had happened.

_“So are you not gonna ask about it?”_

_“About what?”_

_“You know what,” Aaron sighed._

_“You told me to forget it though, figured you needed time.”_

_“Thanks,” Aaron muttered, “It’s alright though.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah, came out to me mum ‘nd all,” he shrugged, but grateful for the big grin that appeared on his friend’s face after his words._

_“Mate, that’s great!”_

_“Sorry I tried to kiss you.”_

_“Hey I told you it’s alright. Was just a bit of a surprise. And you know…”_

_“Yeah.” Aaron knew his friend wasn’t gay, figured he had just liked the idea of him. It probably wasn’t even a crush, he had just liked how he paid attention to Aaron._

It wasn’t until just before their summer break that he actually kissed another boy. There had been some end of the school year party combined with a birthday party for all of the students whose birthday’s fell during the summer months. The few alcoholic beverages he had had – snuck in by some older students- and the fact that he wouldn’t actually be seeing anyone for 2 months had given him the confidence to kiss Eric. Eric who had been outed at the end of their time in White Lodge, but had kept his head held high ever since. Aaron had just been glad that hadn’t happened to him, grateful for Adam’s courtesy. Still, kissing another bloke when people would see had been easier than actually telling them. It had been alright, but they had both known it hadn’t held that much meaning, the summer holiday just around the corner and the next school year focussed on auditions.  

 

\---

 

His last year at the Royal Ballet School had flown by, one minute he had been arriving back in London after the summer break and the next he was in his audition for the Royal Ballet. While his nerves hadn’t been there for his second audition for the school they sure had been there for his audition for the Royal Ballet. He had gone to bed early the day before to try and get enough sleep, but all it had done was mess up his sleep, waking up at all hours of the night. Still the audition had gone well and after a week of nervous waiting he had received his contract.

The day he had first performed with the Royal Ballet he had been so nervous. Not only would he be performing for over 2000 people, but among those people would be most of his family members. Even though none had a particular interest in ballet, beyond the fact that Aaron did it, they had all scraped together money for the trip to London and tickets for his performance. 

_A stagehand come up to him as he was stood stage left, the curtains about to be drawn._

_“Your family wanted to let you know they’re here.”_

_“Thanks,” he laughed. He had seen his family during lunch, but still they had made the effort to let him know they were there._

_\---_

_His first performance had gone great, the imperfections of the rehearsals smoothed out and everything. Just as he had sat back down in his dressing room after getting out of costume someone knocked on the door. All of the dressing room’s occupants looked up as the door opened and Chas walked in, a bright smile on his face._

_“Oh baby! You were great!” she called out as she kissed his cheek._

_“Mum!” Aaron grumbled, embarrassed by his mum’s affection in front of his fellow corps members._

_“Oh shush, it’s not everyday ones baby boy performs at the Royal Opera House.”_

_“Where are the others?” he asked._

_“Still out front, too many of ‘em they said. They wouldn’t even let me come in here at first. I told them I’m your mum and you would want to see me,” Chas huffed out._

_“Well, lemme just grab my stuff and we can go and see them,” he sighed at his mum’s antics, but grateful she was so proud of him._

 

As he had walked into the foyer of the theatre that night loud cheers had greeted him. Other audience members still enjoying a drink had looked over at the spectacle, expecting to see one of the principal dancers, but it had just been Aaron.

A similar thing had happened for his first performance as soloist. He had been 23 and after 4 years in the corps de ballet he had finally been promoted to soloist. But luck had not been on his side, as after only 2 weeks as soloist he had sprained his left ankle after he botched a landing during a performance. Luckily he hadn’t fully torn the ligaments in his ankle, but he still hadn’t been able to perform for over two months.

He had hated that he had to sit out on training and rehearsals, envying his colleagues who were still able to dance. He had been dancing since he was 8 and this had been his first major injury other than minor sprains and he had never been out for more than a few days.

During that time however he also met Brian, a violinist with both the Royal Ballet and Royal Opera. Even though he had been injured he had had to be at a rehearsal with the orchestra. During the rehearsal his eyes had kept wandering over to the man that seemed so emerged in the music, blond hair falling into his eyes as he concentrated on his piece. He had been caught staring and during a quick lunch break Brian had approached him, asking about his injury and when he would be able to perform again. One thing had let to another and they had gone on their first date a few days later. Aaron conscious of the crutches he still had to use as he had walked into the far too fancy restaurant.

They had fallen into a relationship easily, they shared enough interests to keep their conversations going and physical side of things had come easily as well. It had been his first real relationship. After that first kiss with Eric he had kissed some random guys at bars, but nothing had ever really ended in more than sloppy hand or blowjobs in dirty bathroom stalls. It had never really bothered him, he had first been too focussed on finishing school and getting a contract and then life as a dancer of the corps de ballet had been hectic enough to even try and add a relationship to it. With him out of action for a few weeks the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. Brian had been a perfect distraction, but also still kept him in the loop of things happening within the Royal Opera House.

Sex with Brian had been different from all his previous hook ups. They actually managed to make it to a bed for one, well most of the time. But not only that, they actually took their time getting to know each other, finding the spots that made the other tick. Searching for those hitches in breath, teasing at those spots that would make the other moan the loudest. Brian was the one who really _popped his cherry_ so to speak. He had been gentle with him, had really taken his time and then he had made Aaron see stars, made him realise what he had been missing out on all those years. Quick and tipsy hand and blowjobs were one thing, but feeling the stretch of another person inside of him, someone who really cared for him had been amazing. So had the other way around, to share that with someone, someone who trusted you enough, took sex to a whole new level for him.

Brian had really helped him through his recovery process as well, knowing when to talk about the company’s going-ons and when to shut up. He knew just how to cheer him up when had been feeling down, taking him to little hidden gems all over the city. The tiny ice cream shop a few blocks away from the theatre, the music store hidden between tourists shops and the little side streets free of tourists bar the occasional lost soul.

But however nice their relationship had been it had still come to an end. Brian had gotten an opportunity he hadn’t been able to pass up, an opportunity to work with the Royal Concertgebouw, the world famous Dutch orchestra. They had tried to maintain a long – well it was really just across the pond-  distance relationship going, but both of their busy schedules – Aaron had fully recovered by then- had made them decide to call it quits. Aaron had been bummed out by it of course, but it hadn’t been the end of the world. One drunken night out with Adam had done wonders and him and Brian remained friends to this day.   

_\---_

After recovering from his ankle injury he had returned to his position as soloist. Life had gone back to normal pretty quickly. One or more members of his family made the trek down to London whenever they could and the few times he had time off from work he had gone up to visit them. Back home he would often get roped into some _hard graft_ , as his family used to joke. So more often than not instead of enjoying some time to relax he had found himself hunched over the boot of a car or pulling pints behind the bar, had hadn’t minded though just glad to spend some much needed time with his family.

Then after the busy December period and just after his 26th birthday he had been promoted to principal dancer. The director had complimented him on his hard work during the busy end of the year, he had been delighted to see him mature into the role and was sure he would be able to fulfil his responsibilities as principal dancer. He had been so surprised, but so grateful for the chance, so ecstatic to start this new journey. His mum’s scream through the phone had deafened him for a while when he had told her and the whole Dingle clan had already started planning their next family trip down to London to see him perform.  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never come out to someone so I hope I did it justice. I just thought Aaron deserved to come out on his own accord after how his coming out process went on the show :)
> 
> As always kudos/comments make my writer's heart soar.  
> And you can find me over at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com) on tumblr


	5. Robert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (The mature rating for later chapters starts now :P) (Still no robron though, sorry. This is the last of the flashback chapters I swear)

Robert had just made soloist when Victoria first came to see him perform. Robert had gotten her orchestra tickets as a late birthday present. He had met up with her at the train station, not about to let a 15 year old roam the city alone. And after they had dropped off her bag at his place Robert had shown her around the city for a while, before he had had to leave for his ballet class that day. She had been excited to be in London, to finally see the city with her own eyes, so used to the small village she had grown up in. He had asked the front of house manager to keep an eye on her as she had waited for the performance to start in the foyer of the Royal Opera House, asking her to let him know she had gotten in alright. Afterwards she had come to his dressing room – which he now only shared with 2 other men, the perks of being a soloist- with a big grin on her face. She had gushed about the show, about the beautiful women on their pointe shoes, about the gorgeous costumes the dancers wore, but most of all she had gushed about his performance. It had felt incredible, incredible to finally have someone he loved dearly see him dance, to have someone there to support him.

 

\---

 

It wasn’t long after he became a soloist that he started dating Anna. Anna with the strawberry blond hair and freckled cheeks; with her upturned nose and delicate hands that pushed strands of hair behind her ear. Anna with her bright smile and crinkly eyes, with her small frame and soft curves.

She was a soloist as well, had been for close to a year now, but only now that they were both soloists had they started to hang out more. And then they were paired up as partners for the next show the Royal Ballet would be performing. They had tried to keep it professional at first, but all too soon sparks had started to fly and the emotions behind the performance had started to become real. Hours spent in the rehearsal studio hadn’t stopped them from hanging out outside of ballet either. Lunch breaks were spent together in the coffee shop they both loved down the road. Overworked muscles were worked over even more back at one of their apartments. It had been a whirlwind from start to finish, but she was the first person he had ever really loved.

At some point she had pretty much become the fourth member of their household. Her clothes had made their way into his wardrobe little by little, a box of tampons and make-up mixed in with their shaving cream and hair gel, and her favourite brand of coffee sat next to the cheap stuff they usually bought. Daniel and Jamie had jokingly complained about having to live with a loved up couple at first, but after having one too many sleepless nights because of their love making they had started slipping more and more hints about available apartments into their conversations.

By that point Robert had actually already started to look at apartments for them, but that’s when it happened. Anna injured herself during a rehearsal and would not be able to perform for at least half a year. He had tried to support her through her recovery as best as he could, but seeing him leave for the theatre every night without her had made her jealous at first and then nasty as he had been promoted to principal. She hadn’t been able to deal with watching him dance during the dance classes where she could only sit and watch; hadn’t been able to stop herself from being jealous of Jess, the girl he now partnered with. She hadn’t even been able to muster up a smile to congratulate him on making principal. They had fought more and more.

_“Why can’t you understand?!” Anna yelled at him._

_“I can! I’ve tried to help you, tried to be there for you during all of this, but you won’t let me.”_

_“Because you get to escape to the theatre at the end of the day, when I’m stuck here trying to make my fucking leg work again.”_

_“I can’t help that I’m still able to dance Anna! I know it sucks to have to sit out and watch us dance, but I can’t magically fix your leg and you know it!”_

_“Are you sleeping with Jess,” she asked out of nowhere._

_“What?!”_

_“I see how you look at her and you’ve been coming home late.”_

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I look at her like I_ have _to look at her to make the performance_ _believable. And I’ve been coming home late, because I’m a principal now and believe it or not people want to meet the principal dancers after the show. I love you Anna, I wouldn’t cheat on you.”_

_“I don’t believe you,” she sneered, her face twisted in disbelieve._

_“You know what, I can’t deal with this. I can’t deal with you being jealous of me because of something I can’t change. Can’t deal with you accusing me of doing something, no being something I’m not. I’m not a cheat okay, and if you can’t believe that then I don’t know… I guess this is over.”_

 

And with that it had been over. The next morning her clothes were gone from his wardrobe, the box of tampons and make up gone from the bathroom cabinet and the cheap coffee now sat alone in the kitchen cabinet. All of a sudden a relationship that had lasted close to a year was over. It had been strange going into his dance class that day, she hadn’t been there that first day and not seeing her sit off to the side with her by now standard frown on her face was weird. But it had been even weirder when she was there the next day, the frown turned into an angry scowl every time their eyes met.

Eventually though things got back to normal, the daily routine of dance rehearsals and evening performances continued on. Vic had come down to London again when he had been a principal for about 2 months. She had been too busy with exams to come and see his first performance, but he hadn’t minded, just happy to have her there again. She stayed for the week, done with school and excited to spend a week in the city. 

 

\---

 

Life as a principal dancer was exciting, being up at the front of the stage, feeling everyone’s eyes on him. Robert had always loved the attention, there was no denying it, but having the eyes of over 2000 people focussed on him each night was thrilling. The adrenaline coursing through his body each night was addicting and each night off, body grateful for the rest, he missed the applause at the end of the night.

After his break up with Anna he had wanted to focus all of his attention back on dancing, but the first time they had more than one day off from performing Daniel and Jamie had dragged him out into the city’s nightlife.

_“Come on Robert, you can’t keep moping about,” Jamie laughed._

_“I haven’t been moping,” he denied._

_“You haven’t left the house for anything other than ballet,” Daniel joined in._

_“Well, guess what that’s what life as a professional ballet dancer is. I’m principal now, I need to keep my head straight, focus on making each performance perfect.”_

_“Oh don’t give me that, we’ve got the next four days off, you can let your hair down for a bit. Come on, join us tonight.”_

_“Okay, so long as it’s not the gay place.”_

_“What’s wrong with that?”_

_“I don’t like it.”_

_“Oh what, cuz it’s gay?” Daniel said a teasing smile on his face._

_“No, I just don’t see why they all have to hang out together.”_

_“What do you mean, they?”_

_“You know what I mean.”_

_“Come on, let’s just go out and we’ll see where the night leads us.”_

_“Fine,” Robert sighed, getting off from the couch, if they were going out he needed a shower._

_\---_

_Turns out the night did lead them to the_ gay place, _the offer of half price cocktails apparently something they couldn’t pass up. Daniel and Jamie had pulled him onto the already packed dance floor as soon as they had downed their first drinks. It was fun, better than sitting still in the pubs they had gone to at first and the music was definitely better than the club they had left after just one drink._

_“That guy’s been looking you over ever since we got here,” Daniel shouted into his ear after they had been on the dance floor for a while. He looked at the direction he was nodding at to see man with dark hair and quite an impressive beard staring at him._

_“So?”_

_“Go on, live a little! You’re single again.”_

_“I’m straight.” Even though he had told them multiple times that he was straight they apparently still didn’t get the message. Daniel just shrugged, running off to the bar instead. Robert shook his head at his friends behaviour, but as he turned back around he noticed he was alone, Jamie now off dancing with some blond guy. He made to get himself another drink, but he was interrupted by a hand on his arm. He turned around and came face to face with the guy that had been looking at him earlier._

_“Hi,” the guy shouted._

_“Hi,” he shouted back, figuring that one dance couldn’t hurt._

_\---_

_His back hit the door of the bathroom stall, music drifting in louder each time the door opened making him aware of the fact that they weren’t alone, but hands were squeezing his arse and lips surrounded by a scratchy beard were pressed against his own. The guy – he still didn’t know his name-  pressed into him, the outline of his dick hard against his leg. Robert groaned as he shifted and their clothed cocks pressed together. The hands on his arse shifted to his crotch, one palm pressing into him as the other opened up his belt. And then a rough hand wrapped around him, squeezing him as a tongue lapped up his moans._

_He was left panting as the guy’s lips detached from his and instead wrapped around his cock as the other man had let himself fall to his knees. He was silently grateful for the amount of alcohol running through his veins, because he knew he would’ve already come otherwise. He looked down at where the now red lips were sucking him down, wrapping his hands into the dark locks of hair with a groan. Coarse hair scratched at his thighs as he cock disappeared fully into the other man’s mouth, his hands tightening in the hair they were twisted in. He managed to gasp out a ‘close’ as the brunette sucked around him tightly before his nose pressed into his stomach again, not pulling off as his cum shot down his throat._

_He slumped against the stall door, catching a glimpse of the tongue the other guy ran over his lips before standing up. He managed to pull his pants back up around his hips before his hands fumbled for the bloke’s belt. As his hand wrapped around the stranger’s cock panic began to rise in his chest. What was he doing?_

_“Yeah,” the guy sighed, breaking through his panic, “close.”_

_Before he knew it the guy was groaning out his release, cum shooting across his hand. He quickly pulled his hand from the bloke’s pants, grabbing a wad of toilet paper to clean his hand of, before he was fumbling with the lock on the door, mumbling out an apology as he ran from the bathroom._

_Why did this keep happening? He could pretend everything was normal when the guy was sucking him off, not that different from getting sucked off by a girl. Oh who was he kidding, it was nothing like with a girl, the beard burn around his lips and thighs enough evidence of that. But once his hand was around his cock it had hit him, he was really getting off with a guy, and the panic had started to rise in his chest._

_He broke through the quieter area of the toilets and looked around the dance floor for Daniel and Jamie. Once he found Daniel he clambered his way through dancing bodies. “Can we go?”_

_“Why?”_

_“Can we just go.”_

_“Okay, lemme grab Jamie.” He walked off in the opposite direction of the exit, where Robert desperately wanted to be, so he made his way over, grateful for the brisk air filtering though._

_“Let’s go then.” Daniel said looking at him curiously._

_“What about Jamie?”_

_“Oh, he was having too much fun with that blond dude,” Daniel laughed._

After that night he had tried to keep it from happening again, but the next time he joined his friends for a night out he once again ended up getting off with a stranger in a dirty bathroom stall. But the more he joined them on their nights out, the less the panic rose in his chest. He couldn’t deny that it felt good and with his dad now really gone it became easier and easier to shake off the angry looks that flashed through his mind. It was only ever quick hand jobs and blowjobs, and he only ever gave hand jobs not blowjobs. Not until his first boyfriend at least.

 

\---

 

He met Christian when he was dancing in Paris. During his third year of dancing as a principal with the Royal Ballet the Paris Opera Ballet had contacted him, offering him an audition for their ballet. He had jumped at the opportunity, he had loved his time in London, but France was pretty much the birthplace of ballet. He hadn’t been able to believe that they had contacted him, impressed by his performance and abilities. He hadn’t really been nervous doing ballet in a while, but auditioning for the Paris ballet had brought back the old and familiar nerves. He hadn’t needed to be though as he had nailed his audition and was offered a contract as principal dancer for the Paris Opera Ballet soon after.

So after 6 years at the Royal Ballet, three of those as principal dancer, he had left to join the Paris Opera Ballet. It had been an adjustment, living in a new city after living in London for almost 14 years. But he had loved it, loved learning everything about a new city. He had loved wandering through Paris in his spare time, finding little hidden gems. He had struggled to get the hang of the language, ballet terms not all that useful in daily life, but his natural charm had helped him out a lot. It hadn’t taken him long to charm his way into the good graces of the petit lady in her late fifties that ran the café next to the theatre; he’d often found an extra cookie on the side of his coffee.

Dancing with a new company, working with so many new and talented people, had been scary but also exhilarating. A new city brought with it a new audience, their reactions to the performances ever so slightly different. But it had been great; he now had two theatres to call his home as well, one with an even bigger audience than the Royal Opera House.

It wasn’t until his third year in Paris however that he met Christian. A ballet dancer with the Danish Dance Theatre that had been touring in Paris for a few months. He had come to see one of their performances on one of his days off, as he knew Jesper one of the soloists who had performed with the Danish Dance Theatre before joining the Paris Opera Ballet. After the show Christian had come back stage to talk to Jesper and Jesper had introduced him to the rest of the company. There had been an immediate spark between them as Christian had complimented him on his performance, his bright blue eyes twinkling as he had shown of his pearly white teeth with a big smile. He had been tall, taller than Robert, body lean but muscled in all the right places and a mop of blond curls sat atop his head.

Christian had asked him if he wanted to join Jesper and him for drinks that night and he had willingly agreed. A couple of drinks later, after Jesper had complained about needing his sleep, they had stumbled their way into his apartment – for the first time solely his own place.

Christian had been the one to tick of the last few of his firsts with men. Not that first night, but any chance they got during the three months that the Danish company resided in Paris they had met up. He’s not sure if he really had been his boyfriend, but Christian had certainly been the first guy he had seen more than once, the first guy he had went on dates with, and the first guy had had full on sex with.

They had known it couldn’t last, both of them full time ballet dancers in companies from different countries. But they had made the most of those three months. Robert showing off Paris to him, taking him to his favourite café’s, bakeries and restaurants. Teaching him some of basic French he had learned over his three years in Paris, while Christian had tried to teach him some Danish.

Saying goodbye to him after the Danish ballet company’s stay in Paris had been over had been bittersweet, but they agreed to stay in contact and were still friends to this day.

His time in Paris had been great, 6 years of his life were spend in the city and he had loved all six of them, but now he was 31 and it was time to think further ahead. He knew his professional career would be over soon enough. He had been lucky to never have any major injuries, but he could feel his body starting to protest more and more, he knew had maybe 4, 5 years of professional dancing left tops. So it was time to go back, back to his old stomping grounds.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that we're finally caught up to present day :D. Thanks to everyone that stuck with this story, when the first 18k words didn't even have them meet :P
> 
> (I hope you didn't mind me giving some of Aaron's canon lines to my OCs :P)
> 
> As always kudos/comments make my writer's heart soar.  
> And you can find me over at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com) on tumblr


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly longer chapter today :) (I hope the pov changes are clear enough)

It was his first day back at the Royal Ballet after six years in Paris. He had loved his time in Paris, but London would always be his home. The place where he had been for more than half of his life. He’d arrived back in England two weeks ago now, settling into his new apartment. Victoria had come down from Emmerdale for a few days, happy to have her brother in the same country as her again, only a few hours away. She had come to Paris as often as she had time to and could afford it. He had just been happy that Paris was only an hour and a half away by plane and he wasn’t halfway across the world from her. She had loved Paris, she had dragged him along to what felt like all the bakeries and restaurants in the city over the course of six years. Now that he was back in London she had helped him unpack and when she found out he didn’t have any new accessories she had dragged him along to buy stuff to decorate his new place.

But now he was back on his old stomping grounds, being back in Covent Garden was great. And his new apartment was walking distance from the Royal Opera House, so he could enjoy the neighbourhood on his way into work each morning. He was grateful they didn’t have an early morning start for his first day though.

He walked into the theatre and towards the reception, the lady sat behind the desk a familiar face. “Hi, Lydia, I was told to wait for the director?”

“Well if it isn’t Robert Sugden, what are you doing here I thought you were off gallivanting in Paris.”

“Well I’ve decided to return to the home base, want to dance my last couple of years here, I’m not getting any younger.”

“Oh shush you, you’re still young, you still have all the time in the world. Anyway let me call Martin. Have you met him or did you leave before he took over from Vince?”

“Ah no, I think Vince left not long after me, I think he missed me too much,” he grinned

“Oh I see you haven’t lost that Sugden brand of humour. How was Paris by the way?”

“Oh Paris was a joy, such a great city. Have you been? The food is to die for, I should know my sister dragged me all over the city whenever she came ‘round.”

“I should definitely go one day then, I love me some good food,” she grinned before she glanced behind him, sitting up ever so slightly. He looked over his shoulder and saw a tall man with greying hair approach.

“Robert Sugden, pleasure to finally meet you in person.” They had spoken via skype to discuss his audition tape. His assistant-director had come to see him dance in Paris after the skype call and had been impressed, the next day Martin had offered him a spot in the company.

“Good to finally meet you too Martin, I’m happy to be back,” he said as he smiled his winning Robert Sugden smile.

“Let’s head to the rehearsal studio, class is about to start. You did bring your gear didn’t you,” he said glancing at Robert’s dressed down state.

“Yes, ready for a day of ballet as always.”

As they walked through the massive backstage area of the theatre to the dance studio Robert noticed a few more familiar faces, but as much as he would like to think that nothing had changed in the 6 years he had been away, he’d be lying to himself if he did. While some of the older folk working backstage were still around, the ballet company itself was made up of a group of new dancers, with a few of the old corps dancer having moved up the hierarchy over the years.

He followed Martin into the dance studio and was met by a lot of eyes on him. While not all of the almost 100 dancers in the company were there right now there were still a lot of them and they were all looking at him. While Robert had never been shy when it came to attention the intense stares of the dancers as Martin introduced him, were a lot. 

 

\---

 

They’re just starting to get ready for their warm up when the company director walks in, a blond man behind him. He calls for their attention and starts to introduce the man, Robert Sugden. They know of him of course, he used to be a principal with the company before he moved to Paris. He’s wearing some tight green Nike track bottoms and a matching black long sleeve shirt over it and on his feet are what look like the newest most expensive Nike trainers. Aaron gives Adam an _are you seeing this_ look and tries to ignore how good Robert looks in his expensive attire; arrogant twat.

“Thank you Martin. I just wanted to say I really look forward to working with all of you, London will always be my home so I’m glad to be back with the company,” Robert says with a smug smile on his face.

“Alright, well Robert if you want to get changed, we can start with today’s class,” Mrs. Novikov urges him with a kind smile.

Robert walks off to the changing rooms down the hallway with some sort of swagger in his step, as much as a ballet dancer can have swagger. He remembers the man, of course he does, he had been a principal with the Royal Ballet when Aaron was still in school and everyone looks up to the company dancers while they’re still in school. Robert had come to teach one of their classes once, the man probably won’t remember it, but Aaron had thought he was a stuck up twat even then. He had been acting like he knew so much, as if he hadn’t been in their position just a few years prior. It seemed like a few years in Paris hadn’t helped with that either.

He heard the door close behind them as Robert re-entered the room, now dressed in full ballet gear. Aaron had to do a double take, because if Robert in his casual sportswear had looked good, him in his ballet gear was something else completely. He spend his days surrounded by fit men in tight clothes, but Robert in his light grey tights and tight dark grey shirt was something else. The light material showed of his _assets_ nicely and the shirt hugged his broad shoulder just right. Aaron had to take a second to pull his focus away from the man’s body, suddenly self-conscious about his loose shorts and ratty old t-shirt. He shook himself from worrying about it, it was a damn warm up session there was no need to look his best right now.

“Okay class, let’s do barre first,” the teacher said before she started rattling off a dozen different movement they had to do. After years of training he had gotten used to the terms that once seemed difficult to understand and the pace at which they were often rattled off to them. As he was warming up, going through each movement carefully before turning around and doing them on the other side, his eyes kept wandering over to the barre next to him where Robert was. The man fell into the rhythm of their warm up easily, clearly there wasn’t much difference between companies. He was all long lines and it seemed like he was barely pulling a sweat.

“Toes, Aaron!” Shit! He had been too focused on Robert and his form had been slacking.

As he tried to focus back on the task at hand he caught Robert’s eyes as he turned his head to look at him after the teacher’s comment. He didn’t know what the look was that Robert was giving him, but he didn’t like it so he just glared back and went into arabesque.

As class came to an end Adam walked over to him. “Hey, what’s your schedule like for today? Got time to go to lunch at The Counter?”

The Counter was one of their favourite café’s in the neighbourhood and whenever their schedules matched up they would spend their downtime enjoying the café’s menu. “Got rehearsal at 2 for Emeralds and then partnering work with Lacy at 4.”  

It was 11.30 now, so he had plenty of time to do lunch if Adam’s schedule lined up with his. Adam was still a soloist at the company, but the change in hierarchy after Aaron had become a principal had never been a problem between them.

“Great, I’ve got nothing on until 2 either, let’s go.”

As they started to leave for the exit they saw Robert looking slightly lost, clearly on his own for lunch.

“Should we ask him along?” Adam asked.

“Why?”

“He doesn’t know anyone yet.”

“Seems like a guy who can handle himself. Come on let’s go, I’m starving and craving one of their smoked chicken sarnies.” And with that they headed to the changing rooms and left Robert to fend for himself.

 

\---

 

Well that had been awkward, Robert thought as he changed out of his ballet gear to go and grab some lunch. After class some of the company dancers had come over to welcome him, but it had all been very stilted. Clearly people were trying to size him up, see if he would be a threat to them. That was one thing he hated about the ballet world, no matter how nice people were to you there would always be that bit of weighing each other up against each other, there was always a hint of competition. Robert normally didn’t mind the schmoozing and boasting, but sometimes he wished it didn’t take so much effort to get to people’s core, to build up the trust that was so important in their career.

After everyone was done talking to him they had all left in their own little groups and he’d been left alone, and for the first time he had felt lost in this city that had always been his home. As he sat down in the café that had always been his favourite he noticed that it had a different name above the door. He sighed, so much had changed over the last half a decade, not even his old safe spots were the same anymore. He grabbed the menu on the table and looked it over, the place hadn’t actually changed their menu all that much, so he settled for what was his old favourite, just with a new name.

As he sat alone at a table in the corner of the café he started to reminisce about his time in London. Those years had really formed him, after everything that had happened in his early childhood, London had really become his home. After he had gone to his father’s funeral all those years ago, he had never set foot in Emmerdale again. His only contact to that place was his little sister. And from what he heard from her Emmerdale was the total opposite of London, while London had changed so much over the years, Emmerdale was still the same old village with the gossiping old ladies and young people that would either get stuck there or flee it as soon as they could. And while he had escaped the place earlier than most, he was glad he wasn’t stuck there anymore, he just wished his sister would realise soon enough and would go and see more of the world herself.

Sat alone he also realised that he hadn’t seen most of his friends for years now. Most of them were dancers as well, too busy to make the trek over to France. But now that he was back he was determined to change that. He knew Jamie was now dancing with the Birmingham ballet, so it would be harder for them to meet up. Daniel however was still dancing in the city. He grabbed his phone and quickly send off a text to the man in question, hoping he would have time to hang out soon, he didn’t fancy another lonely lunch tomorrow.

 

\---

 

The days went on and people had started to warm up to him. He was both grateful and slightly disappointed that he wasn’t in a production yet. He was grateful for the time to rehearse the next show he would be in, but while his days were full of rehearsing and training his nights would be empty. He was so used to end the day with a performance, hearing the applause from a packed theatre, that he missed it a lot, it left him restless and itching to go on again. Sometimes he would sneak off to the stage and just look out into the empty opera house, the phantom sound of a rounding sound of applause ringing in his ears.

“What are you doing? Class is that way.” A voice came from behind him as he reached for the door leading towards the stage again. He turned around to come face to face with Aaron, the man still hadn’t warmed up to him, sending him glares whenever their eyes met.

“I know, I just like to look at the stage sometimes.” For some reason he couldn’t think of a good excuse when faced with the man’s usual scowl, so he settled for the truth, immediately feeling self-conscious. He didn’t do self-conscious, but for some reason that unwavering stare made him feel it. What would Aaron think of him, some sad sack who went to sit on the stage just to feel something again?

“Why?” Aaron asked, curiosity playing in his eyes. He hadn’t laughed in his face, Robert was grateful for that, so once again he found himself telling Aaron the truth.

“Just miss it sometimes. I’ve not been on since I came back to London.”

“Right,” Aaron said uncertainly, like he was wondering if he should say more, if Robert wanted him to ask more and whether he could be bothered. “Well, we’re gonna be late for class,” he huffed as he started to walk in the direction of the rehearsal studio that class would be in that morning. Apparently not then, Robert thought as he followed the surly man, not wanting to be late.   

**\---**

As Aaron walked into the dance studio the next morning his eyes unconsciously found their way to the tall blond already stretching on the floor. Aaron didn’t know what to make of Robert. After their conversation the other day he had started to see Robert’s smug front start to crack. He clearly loved ballet and it was obvious how much he missed performing. That Aaron understood, working in dance studios was fine and all, but the thrill of being on a stage with thousands of eyes on you was something else. Aaron had never really been someone that craved attention, happy to be in the background, only speaking up when necessary, but after being on that stage something had clicked inside of him. Outside of work he was still just happy to watch and listen, but as soon as he stepped out onto that stage a spark would light him up inside. Hearing the murmur of people finding their seat as they were about to go on would ignite that spark in him, and it would only build up more as he stepped onto the stage, glanced at the blurry faces of the first rows of people, and it would roar into a big flame as soon as the first round of applause echoed through the Royal Opera House.

Seeing that reflected on the other man’s face as he spoke had been an eye opener. He had started to wonder what had made Robert find his way to ballet. He didn’t seem like someone that had been brought up with ballet like some of the other dancers were. He recognised something in the other man, ballet wasn’t just a sport, just a career for him, it was a need to escape.

He didn’t know a lot about Robert, just that he had studied at the Royal Ballet School just like himself and that he obviously grew up somewhere up north, accent still present even after years spend in London. For some reason the other man intrigued him.

As he made his way over to the opposite side of the room where Adam was stretching Robert lifted his head from where he was bend over his leg to stretch and glanced up at him. Aaron didn’t know what to make of the look in Robert’s eyes, he saw something like curiosity play in them before the usual mask of arrogance was covering it. He shook his head, what was this guy’s deal?

All throughout their rehearsal that day his eyes kept wandering over to Robert, his body working through the familiar routine on autopilot as his mind worked overtime. Every now and then their eyes would meet for a split second, before both of them looked away slightly flustered at getting caught. But as their eyes met again during centre practice Aaron saw Robert work extra hard to perfect his movements, a smug smile playing on his lips as their eyes met next. And Aaron would just put in extra effort as well, sending his own smug smile back at the other man, because two could play at this game.

At the end of the class some of the other dancers had started to throw questioning looks at them as they had kept trying to one up each other. Their dance partners frowning at them as they seemed more focussed on each other than on them. At the end of the rehearsal Aaron had been exhausted and frustrated, because of how much extra energy he had put into what was supposed to be a normal easy going rehearsal to start off the day.

\---

“Dude, what’s up with you?” Adam asks after Aaron has only been nodding along to whatever the other man has been saying. They’re sat at their usual table at another of their regular cafes, waiting on their lunch after their morning rehearsal.

“Huh, what?”

“I said, what’s up? You’ve not said anything since we sat down and I know when something is up with ya, because you get a little twitch.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yeah you do, right there. So start talking,” Adam said pointing at the his face.

“Ugh, I don’t know. What do you think of Robert?”

“Dunno, he seems alright. Why?” Adam asks with a shrug.

“He just, he gets on my nerve, with all that smug attitude. But then the other day I found him in the hallway about to go into the backstage area. I asked him what he was doing, since class was about to start and all. Said he missed being on stage. I dunno it just seemed like he was a totally different guy, but then in rehearsals he was back to being his smug self.”

“Dude, do you fancy him or summat?”

“What no! I just don’t get him.”

“You so do, look at ya little face. And you’ve been paying a lot of attention to him.”

“Shut up, I don’t! And anyway I don’t even know if he’s into guys, let alone me.”

“Then ask him.”

“It’s not that easy. And anyway I don’t fancy him.”

**\---**

His conversation with Adam earlier had left him thinking. Did he fancy Robert? He couldn’t deny he found the other man attractive, his body reacting to him the minute he had walked into the dance studio 2 weeks ago. But he still couldn’t get his finger on Robert. Why had he told him about how he missed dancing, only for him to pull that mask right back up again. He had closed himself off the minute they walked through the door of the dance studio. And then this morning they had played that weird one upping each other game. Robert’s eyes had sparked whenever he sent another one of his smug looks to Aaron through the mirror.

But Adam was right, he had been paying more attention to Robert than he usually did to any new dancers, even those that had payed extra attention to him. After he had split up with Brian he hadn’t really fancied anyone enough for more than a quick kiss on the dance floor or occasionally a fumble in a bathroom stall. No one had ever really caught his attention long enough for him to even consider dating them, there hadn’t even really been anyone that had stuck in his brain. But Robert had, was still stuck in his brain and he didn’t know what to do about it. Just going up to him and asking didn’t seem like an option, he didn’t even know if Robert was into guys and he didn’t want to make things awkward if he had gauged the situation wrong.

So he decided to just keep the feelings inside of him, try to gauge Robert’s intention better before he decided to make a move. The next day at rehearsals things were back to normal, but in the end it wasn’t Aaron that made the first move.   

**\---**

“What is your problem!” Aaron yelled at Robert, his voice echoing through the now empty dance studio.

“What? I was just giving you some advice,” Robert said back trying to remain calm, but the look that crossed Aaron’s face at his words was already annoying him. After their awkward conversation the other day Aaron had gone back to only glaring at him and they had ended up playing some weird one-upping game in rehearsal. Today Robert had switched tactics, had just tried to help him out during class, get the other man to like him. It clearly hadn’t worked.

“I don’t need your advice mate! I didn’t get to be a principal in the fucking Royal Ballet by doing nothing, okay. I don’t need ‘Mr. I Danced with the Paris Opera Ballet’ to tell me what to.”

“I never said that! And me dancing in Paris has nothing to do with it, I’m just saying that if you set off your jumps a little differently you’d be able to jump a lot higher,” Robert said back, taking a frustrated step towards the other man. Why wouldn’t he just let him help?

Aaron scoffed at that. “No thanks, I’m jumping plenty high already.”

And that’s when he saw it. Aaron’s eyes flickered down to his lips, for just a second, but it was enough.

“Trust me I’ve been using that technique for years,” he said, a smirk playing on his lips as he let his own eyes linger on Aaron’s lips for just a bit.

“You can keep your technique,” Aaron huffed as he made to leave the dance studio.

“Okay, okay. There’s nothing wrong with your technique.”

“So what? You just like wasting my time do ya?” Aaron said incredulously.

“What do you think?” Their eyes lingered on each other, both of them trying to find something more there.

“I think I don’t like being messed around,” Aaron said, breaking away from Robert’s gaze. And this time Aaron really turned around for the exit.

“Don’t,” Robert couldn’t stop himself from calling out. “I’m not messing you around,” he said as Aaron turned back around. He let his eyes roam over the other man’s face again, eyes flicking down to those plump lips ever so slightly.

“And how is that?”

“Because you know why we’re both still here,” Robert said, confidence slowly making its way back to him.

“Do I? You tell me.”

Robert took a step closer to Aaron, but as soon as Aaron started to lean in that earlier confidence started to fade again. “Forget it,” he sighed, internally cursing himself for chickening out.

“Fine, see you around,” Aaron murmured before going to grab his sports gear on the other side of the room.

It felt like Robert warred with his own mind for ages, but seeing Aaron walk away just wouldn’t do. So before that little voice inside of his head even had time to stop him he stepped forward, grabbed Aaron’s arm, turned him around and pressed his lips against Aaron’s. His hands found their way to Aaron’s stubbled cheeks as the other man returned the kiss with fervour.  

Hands fumbled with the hem of his still slightly damp with sweat ballet shirt as Aaron manoeuvred them towards the mirrored wall, Robert grateful for the lack of barres on this side of the room as his back hit the wall. A groan left his lips as Aaron’s hands made their way underneath his shirt, broad hands roaming over his sensitive skin. His own hands found their way to Aaron’s sweaty curls as the other man pressed into him further, thigh now pressed against his crotch.

As Aaron’s hands explored his chest, his own found their way to his deliciously plump arse. A huff of breath burst from his lips as his hands found their way underneath Aaron’s loose shorts and finally made contact with those round cheeks he had been lusting for, for way too long. A sound that could only be described as a whimper escaped from Aaron’s mouth; the other man finding a nipple to tweak, drawing a similar noise from Robert’s lips.

And just as Aaron started to push his shirt off further a loud bang could be heard somewhere in the building, breaking the bubble of lust they had fallen into. Aaron’s hands stilled as Robert broke their kiss.

“Shit,” Robert panted, his head falling back against the mirrored wall. “We can’t do this,” he sighed as he pressed against Aaron’s shoulder to get the man to move away from their compromising position. As Aaron let go of his waist he went to grab his bag, aware of the other man’s eyes on him.

“So what, that’s it?”

“We just can’t okay.”

“This ain’t your first time innit?”

“Never said it was.” After years of struggling with his sexuality, with the ghost of his father and his fists, he had finally come to terms with it, he liked both. As much as he had always tried to write of his dalliances in the past, after Christian he had stopped telling people he was straight. “I just can’t okay, I need to focus on my career.”

“Whatever,” Aaron huffed out, shouldering his own bag as he made for the door.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wellll, they've finally met :P I hope it was worth it... I have chapter 7 written as well, but after that updates might be a bit slower as I'm struggling a little bit with writing this story at the moment.
> 
> As always kudos and comments make my writers heart soar. And you can find me on tumblr at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com)


	7. Chapter 7

Walking into the dance studio the next morning is weird. He can’t help but let his eyes flick over to the wall that Aaron had pushed him against the day before. Remembering how his lips had felt against Robert’s, how the stubble on his cheeks had felt under his fingertips.

Aaron is already in the room, stretching on the ground next to Adam Barton, someone he seems to be attached at the hip with. He doesn’t look up at him, no matter how long Robert keeps his eyes fixed on him. Great, he’d gone and messed everything up. He didn’t know why he had panicked after their kiss. The sound of a door banging shut drawing him from the little bubble they had found themselves in. He hadn’t really panicked about being with guys in a long time. But something had felt different from his copious hook ups in bars and clubs, had felt different than his time with Christian. He couldn’t put his finger on it, on what was so different about the brunet. He had been with dancers before, had never pulled out the ‘I need to focus on my career’ card with any of them, so why had he with Aaron?

The voice of the dance teacher broke through his reverie, he had stretched on autopilot and had a feeling the class would go pretty much the same. As the teacher told them to start with barre and rattled of a number of different movements the familiar exercises came easily.     

As he turns himself around to face the mirror again he feels eyes on him, but it wasn’t Aaron staring back at him, it was Adam. A puzzled frown was visible on the other man’s face as he looked Robert over, as if he was trying to gauge something from him. Robert just send him back a frown of his own. What was this guy’s deal? Had Aaron told him about their kiss? They certainly seemed close enough for Aaron to have mentioned it, but it had seemed like Aaron had been ignoring Adam just as much as Robert this morning.

As their class came to an end Robert tried to get Aaron’s attention, but the other man grabbed his gear as soon as the teacher had thanked them, making a beeline for the locker rooms. Robert tried to follow him to them, but he was interrupted by Adam calling out his name.

“What?” he said disgruntled, he wanted to explain himself to Aaron, even if he still didn’t know what had made him act the way he had yesterday. But Adam interrupting him meant that Aaron would probably be long gone by the time he made it to the locker room.

“What’s up with you and Aaron?”

“Nothing,” he said too quickly, trying to make his way out of the dance studio again.

“Oi! Don’t give me that. Aaron’s been huffy all morning, barely said anything to me.”

“Well maybe it’s you that’s done something then, huh.”

“Come on dude, something happened yesterday right? We usually catch up after morning class, but he never came back to the locker room. And then at the evening performance he was all grumpy. I don’t think he’s said more than 5 words since then and while he never says much this is unusual even for him.”

“Well it’s got nothing to do with me. Now can I go and get changed in peace?” He said, annoyance written clearly on his face by now. As he made his way over to the locker room he was glad Adam didn’t try to stop him again. As he opened the door to the room he noticed it was almost empty already, just a few corps dancers laughing at something on a phone. He surveyed the room, but Aaron was nowhere to be seen. He opened his locker to get his outside clothes, just some comfy but stylish joggers and a t-shirt. He pulled his tight shirt over his head and quickly wiped a towel over his sweaty face and torso, with more rehearsals planned for that afternoon a shower could wait.

As he was tying his shoelaces he heard the door of the locker room open again, he glanced up to see Adam. His eyes fell to Robert as he entered, Robert now the only one left in the locker room. Robert pulled at his shoelaces harshly, his feet already protesting at his treatment of them after a long morning class. He didn’t know why, but for some reason all of his frustrations were aimed at making the perfect bow in his laces. As he was done, he shoved his workout clothes into his locker and slammed it shut with a loud bang. He saw Adam stare up at him as he walked out of the locker room, but he ignored the other man, determined to get on with his day.   

 

\---

 

It had been 4 days since Robert had kissed him in that empty dance studio when Adam had dragged him out into the city. ‘You need to have some fun, let loose.’ He had said, he had given up asking what was wrong after the second day of non-reactions from Aaron. But now that they had the next week off from work, the Royal Opera playing instead as they switched between shows, Adam had dragged him out into the London nightlife.

Aaron had argued that Adam was just a single as him and they could just go to any pub, but Adam had insisted on going to the gay pub, get him out of his funk. Aaron had refused to go to a club though, not feeling up for the loud skull vibrating music or dancing on a packed dancefloor. He wanted to relax on his days off and a pub would do.

They were sat in a booth in the corner, near the pool table, waiting for their turn. But for now they were enjoying their drinks and happy to people watch. Adam was still laughing at him after a guy had come up to them. He had asked if he wanted to join him in a game of darts, only for Aaron to be shut down as he had tried to make an excuse, because it had been Adam the guy had been asking.

“Mate, you should’ve seen your face,” Adam laughed. And that was the moment Robert walked in, Aaron hadn’t really been looking at the door on purpose, but their booth gave them the perfect vantage point. So he couldn’t help but notice the familiar blond haired man walk in.

“Shut up, you’re not all that,” he said just a little bit too late, because he saw Adam’s eyes follow his and land on Robert. He noticed Robert searching the crowded pub, before his eyes landed on him. For a split second he saw a surprised kind of shock play on the other man’s face, before he diverted his eyes like he had never seen Aaron. His eyes searched around the pub a little longer before he clearly found who he was looking for.   

“Oh come on, I took you out to get your mind off of him and he just has to come here?” Adam groaned.  

“Forget about him. Another round?” He asked holding up his empty pint glass. Adam nodded and he made his way over to the bar, the bar that Robert was now also stood at.

“You stalking me?”

“Hmm? No, I’m meeting up with a friend, don’t be so full of yourself.” Robert said, disdain clear in his voice, before he asked the bartender for a whiskey and vodka cola.

“What can I get you?” The voice of another bartender broke through his thoughts and he quickly ordered two pints. As they both waited for their drinks he couldn’t help but take in Robert’s appearance. He had only ever seen the guy in his work-out clothes, but now he was dressed in a fitted pair of maroon trousers, a navy blue shirt with a pattern of half circle like feather shapes on it and a large watch around his wrist. The leather jacket he had walked in with now abandoned at the booth where his friend sat. Their drinks are put down in front of them and they part ways without another word.

“Hey, pool table is free,” Adam calls over to him as he makes his way back to their booth. “What’d he want?”

“Nothing, just here to see a friend he said,” Aaron replied as his eyes flickered over to the booth Robert was sat at now talking to his friend. He pushed a coin into the pool table and gathered up the balls to start their game.

Adam grinned at him as he pocketed 2 balls on his break. He made a show of chalking up his cue for his next shot, a teasing smile still on his face.

“Alright you clown, get on with it.”

Adam didn’t pocket any more balls with his next shot so it was finally Aaron’s turn. He cursed as a ball he was sure was gonna make it into the pocket bounced off the side of it. Adam sunk another one of his balls on his next shot, but as it was Aaron’s turn again his shot once again failed.

“Mate, you know the point of the game is to get them into the pockets right?!” Adam chirped at him loudly. Loud enough to draw the attention of some of the other people in the bar, including Robert. He saw Robert looking up, pint –that he must have gotten when Aaron was focussed on the game-  halfway to his mouth.

He lined up his next shot and as he looked up from his bend over position he saw that Robert’s eyes were still on him. He quirked an eyebrow as the other man didn’t break their eye contact like he had done before. He sunk the ball, hearing Adam say a cheeky _finally,_ and saw that his next shot would line up just the right way for him to bend over right in Robert’s line of sight. Which is what he did, taking extra-long to find the right position giving Robert a perfect view of his arse. He missed, but got his ball in the way of Adam’s shot so that he either had to pocket Aaron’s ball along with his or not pocket any.

As he grabbed the chalk lying on the edge of the pool table he felt Robert’s eyes on him again. He chanced a quick glance at the blond, who just quirked his own eyebrow in return in a _so we’re playing this game?_ look.      

As expected Adam chose the safe option to avoid Aaron’s trickily placed ball and it was Aaron’s turn again. It didn’t give him as good of a vantage point to tease Robert, assuming the other man was still looking at him, but he made do.

“Come on mate, just take the shot!” Adam groaned as Aaron tried to find the perfect position to take his next shot that also left him in Robert line of sight. He missed.

“See, now I missed.”

“Oh give over, you were taking ages. You would’ve missed it no matter how long you had stared at the ball,” Adam shot back, clearly still oblivious to Aaron’s ulterior motives to take a long time finding the perfect position.   

-

“Come on lad, let’s get that round in then,” Adam grinned at him as he made Aaron get the next round of pints as he had won the game easily, Aaron too distracted to really focus on the game.

Halfway through the game Aaron had glanced over to the booth Robert and his friend still sat at, Robert momentarily pulled back into whatever conversation they were having. A new pint was in his hands, his thumb brushing over the damp side of the glass as he concentrated on what his friend was saying. The top two buttons of his shirt had come undone, showing just the slightest hint of skin. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen Robert in less, but the little hint of it between the fabric of the dark blue shirt was possibly more arousing than the time Robert had worn a low cut tank top during morning class.

“Alright, alright. Just need the bog first.”

-

He was just washing his hands when he heard the door to the toilets open. He glanced up to find Robert eyes fixated on him, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips. Aaron bit his lip, challenging the other man as if to say _what you gonna do about it?._ He didn’t have to wait long, before he knew it his back was pressed against the edge of the sink uncomfortably.  But he was quickly distracted by the lips that found his. His still wet hands gripped the sink as Robert gripped at his waist pulling him closer to the other man. 

“Adam’s waiting,” he murmured as he pulled away from their kiss. “So is your friend,” he continued as Robert gave him a unperturbed look.

“Daniel won’t mind,” Robert said pressing another kiss to Aaron’s mouth.

He knew they shouldn’t, but he simply couldn’t resist any more after all the teasing they’d done throughout the night. And to be honest, he had been craving the other man’s lips ever since that first kiss they had shared. Running his hands through the Robert’s blond locks he pressed his lips back against Robert’s and gave in.

-

“Aaron, mate, are you gonna get those pints in or wha-a…?” Adam calls out as he walks into the pub toilets. Aaron and Robert jump apart as they hear Adam call out, the other man clearly at loss for words at seeing what he walked in on. “Oh, my bad. I’m just gonna… yeah,” he babbles as he makes a quick exit out of the bathroom.

Aaron dropped his head with a sigh as he softly pushed against the other man’s shoulder. “I better go and find him,” he murmurs as he pulls his shirt back down from where Robert’s hands had shoved it up.

“Right,” Robert sighs as his own hands start to redo some of the buttons that had come undone by Aaron’s fingers, before running a hand through his hair trying to fix the mess in the mirror.

“See you next week,” Aaron says with a somewhat hopeful tone of voice. He really hopes they won’t go back to avoiding each other like last time. 

"Yeah," Robert sighs.

 

\---

 

He doesn’t see Aaron until the next week. He had pondered the idea of getting Aaron’s number from someone, but in the end he figured he wasn’t that desperate yet. Well he was but he didn’t want to show it, and he figured he would see Aaron soon enough.

It’s the first day of rehearsals for a brand new show the Royal Ballet will be performing. Something about two men fighting over a woman, pretty standard but apparently they had managed to give a new feel to it. They haven’t decided who the male leads will be yet, but Ruby has already been cast as the female lead. The show actually having been written with her in mind. She’s a beautiful dancer, all delicate lines, contrasted by her afro exploding out over her delicately freckled light brown face.

They’re trying out all the male principal dancers for the two roles, starting off by trying some of the smaller scenes of the show in a group and finishing with each of the dancers dancing the big pas de deux with Ruby. Robert hoped he has a chance, with him still being new to the company and all that. But he figures it shouldn’t matter, the best dancer for the roles will be chosen.

The smaller pieces of the choreography are easy to get the hang of, the other dancers picking it up easily as well. But the big pas de deux has a complicated number of turns and lifts. He doesn’t know how Ruby can keep going as they try the pas de deux with each of the male dancers, he’s exhausted just looking at it. They break after half of the men have had their chance, some faring better than others.

Robert still hasn’t tried out, and neither has Aaron. The other man not having said a word to him yet. The events of last Thursday had ran through his mind as Robert had first walked into the large dance studio, but he had quickly tried to focus on the audition. He was determined to get one of the parts, so it seems was Aaron. The man had been closed off all morning, focussed on the piece.

After the break it’s Aaron’s turn. Robert is mesmerized by him. Ruby is beautiful as she dances, but Robert can only focus on Aaron. On how he makes it seem as if the lifts were nothing, how it had looked like he had been floating as he jumped up high into the air. He had faltered slightly on the exit of one of the pirouettes, but he had easily continued on with another seemingly effortless jump. He hadn’t been kidding when he had yelled at Robert about how he could jump plenty high already.

He’s glad Alex was up next, because he’d have failed spectacularly if he had had to follow Aaron without any time to focus on his own work again. But once it’s his turn the rest of the room fades away as soon as he gets into position and all his focus is on perfecting the piece. While his jumps might not be as high as Aaron’s he feels like he nails the audition.

 

\---

 

They aren’t kept waiting very long, as all of the people involved in the show are eager to get started on rehearsals.

David walks into the dance studio the next morning with a cheerful smile on his face. “So, I’m happy to announce that we have found our Antoine and Etienne,” he announces after he has gained everyone’s attention. “I won’t keep you in suspense any longer. The role of Antoine goes to… Aaron.”

A round of applause breaks through the room. Robert hears a ‘go on lad’ from what he assumes is Adam, as Aaron steps forward to stand next to the director.

“And the second lead role of Etienne goes to… Robert.”

Robert steps forward in a slight daze. Yes, he had felt pretty good after the audition yesterday, but he still hadn’t wanted to get his hopes up and get ahead of things too much. He manages to cover his surprise with a smirk quickly as he turns to face the other dancers.

“All of you showed us some amazing performances yesterday, but in the end we felt that these two men were the best choices for the roles. Aaron, you showed Antoine’s tenacity brilliantly, and Robert you showed a secretive slyness that we think is perfect for the role of Etienne. Congratulations to you both,” David beams at them.

The rest of the day is hectic, as Ruby, Aaron and himself have to start rehearsals immediately. He now also finally has a date for his first performance back on the stage of the Royal Opera House. March 3rd, 3 weeks from now. 

The coming weeks will be hectic with non-stop rehearsals. The 3 week rehearsal period longer than they were used to, but for an original piece it still means a lot of hard work and long days.

 

\---

 

Rehearsals for the new show were though. Ruby was an amazing dancer and working with her was a lot of fun. However, his hopeful thought after their kiss in the pub was proven wrong as the tension between him and Robert had returned. They had barely exchanged 5 non ballet related words since that night and now they were stuck in the same place for most of the day for 3 weeks. And they hadn’t even started to rehearse their duet as Antoine and Etienne battled for Mathilde’s affection.

The stage director didn’t really seem to notice the tension between them, writing it off as their portrayal of the characters. Not everyone was so clueless though.

“Mate, just kiss him again, hook up, whatever but I can’t deal with this tension anymore,” Adam says one day during a break of a company rehearsal. Aaron had been moody again, the tension during the rehearsal not helping him with his attempt to get a particularly difficult lift right.

“Shut up. It’s this bloody lift, I can’t get it right mate,” Aaron evades Adam’s accusation.

“Come on Aaron if the tension between you lot is so palpable in company rehearsals I can’t even begin to imagine what Ruby has to endure during your principal rehearsals.”

“You try being in a room with someone that doesn’t talk to you for hours on end. He does my head in and he’s not even talking to me.”

“Then talk to him! Have you ever actually had a normal conversation?”

“When would we have had one of those, we only see each other here,” Aaron says, sighing as the teacher calls them back to the rehearsal.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last finished chapter I have as I've been struggling to write this story for a while now... But would you guys rather have me keep updating once a week but have shorter chapters or wait a little longer and have 3/4k chapters like normal?
> 
> But as always kudos/comments make my writer's heart soar.  
> And you can find me over at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com) on tumblr


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not 100% happy with this I think, but I didn't want to have you wait any longer... Hopefully some of the transitions aren't too abrupt and the povs are still clear... Anyway enjoy

Aaron tries, he really does try to have a normal conversation with Robert after his conversation with Adam. It’s still pretty awkward, but the next time he sees Robert during rehearsal he does try to start a conversation with him.

“So… you settling in alright?” he asked after another rehearsal with Robert and Ruby. They would start rehearsing his and Robert’s duet the next day and he figured he’d try and make an effort, try to get rid of that tension before they would have to be even more involved with each other.

Robert had send him a confused look, clearly not expecting Aaron to try and make conversation after the stilted rehearsals they’ve had so far.

“Yeah, it’s alright, just finding my way around again.”

“Why, London change that much while you were in Paris?”

“No…, well actually yes. My apartment is on the other side of the neighbourhood now, I’m living on my own and most of my favourite spots have changed over the years. I guess it just takes a bit of getting used to again.”

“You didn’t live on your own before?”

“I did, in Paris, but I always shared with people when I was here. Daniel, my friend from the pub, he was one of them actually,” he smiled. He clearly liked the other man, Aaron wondered if something had happened between those two.

“Right, well I’m glad you’re settling in,” he said sincerely. “I’m just off to lunch with Adam, see you tomorrow?”  

“Yes, of course,” Robert said sounding slightly dejected, he wondered if he should have invited Robert to come along with them. The man clearly still didn’t have a lot of people to hang out with outside of work. But Robert was already heading out of the rehearsal room, bag slung over his shoulder, looking far too good after a 2 hour long rehearsal. Too late now.

 

\---

 

“So how are rehearsals for the new show going?” Daniel asked him as they sat down in their usual café. Robert hadn’t realised how much he had missed the other man whilst he was in Paris. His bright smile and laugh as infectious as it had been 6 years ago.

“I feel like we always talk about me, what about you Daniel?”

“Oh shush, you’re the one that’s about to originate a role in a Royal Ballet production, I want to know all about it, especially since it will probably be a while before I get a chance to see it for myself.”

“I don’t know, Ruby is amazing, but I can’t put my finger on Aaron.”

“Aaron from the pub? Thought you were getting on just fine,” Daniel said waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Yeah, I shouldn’t have done that,” Robert sighed.

“Why not? He’s fit and he’d been sending you looks all night and don’t think I didn’t notice you sending them back either.”

“But now we’re all weird with each other during rehearsals again. I mean he tried talking to me this morning, but it was all still very awkward. And we start rehearsals for our duet tomorrow as well.”

“Why? What did he ask?”

“Just how I was settling in, but then he ran off to have lunch with Adam again.”

“Robert he’s trying to make an effort, just try doing the same. And you were going to have lunch with me anyway, you wouldn’t have stood me up, again, right,” Daniel grinned.

“Oh shut up, I was only gone for like 10 minutes!”

“Just try alright.”

“Yeah, I will,” Robert sighed.

 

\---

 

It was awkward, it was definitely still awkward and George, their stage director, was slowly getting more and more frustrated with them. It was just the two of them and George in the rehearsal room today, they had somehow managed to hide the awkwardness between them with other people in the room with them, but now that was impossible.

George let out a frustrated groan as yet again the timing between them was off meaning they weren’t in the right places for the jumps, let alone the lift they had at the end of their duet. It was a very stylistic ‘battle’ of sorts, they wouldn’t be using any props and only had their body language and ballet movements, and perfect timing was needed to make it as convincing as possible.

“Okay, let’s try the steps individually first. Aaron you go first, let’s start from the grande allegro and make sure that last jeté is right at the mark on the floor.”

Aaron went through the steps carefully, making sure to space his jump off point for the last jeté just right so that his legs were the widest just as he hovered over the mark on the floor. They would both end with jetés coming from different sides of the stage and had to time it perfectly so that they were both in the air at the same time, their legs at the same heights as if they hit each other at the same time.

“Great, well done Aaron that timing of the jeté was perfect. Now Robert let’s see yours from the other side.”

Robert’s series of movements were timed perfectly as well, but that hadn’t been the problem, so far they hadn’t been able to get the timing of their last jetés just right, one of them always landing just slightly before the other. Robert had to grab Aaron’s arm as they landed and Aaron, or well Antoine, started to move away, pulling him back in. But if Robert was late in the jeté Aaron would already be too far away to grab and if he landed too early he’d be standing their awkwardly waiting for Aaron. For the untrained eye it might look like nothing was wrong, everything happening so fast, but this was the Royal Ballet and everything needed to be just perfect.

This wasn’t really were they were awkward with each other, both of them equally frustrated with their inability to time the jumps right, no it was the lifts that followed the grand allegros. Neither of them had ever done a lift with another man, most ballets the Royal Ballet performed were very traditional and only had females lifted into the air, but this was different. They both had to lift and be lifted by the other and lifts required a certain level of trust, which they hadn’t really managed to find yet, resulting in uncertain lifts that did not look at all impressive.         

“Okay, let’s try those jumps one more time and then we’ll have a lunch break.”

They tried the jumps one more time and finally, finally they managed to time it just right. A smile broke out on both of their faces as Robert grabbed Aaron’s arm, the timing finally just right.

“Yes! That was perfect. Okay, you guys have deserved a lunch break now, but I want you guys to have lunch together, get to know each other better, work on that trust for the lifts.”

Aaron and Robert shared a sheepish look before nodding their assent to George.

“You want to stay here or go somewhere for lunch?” Robert asked Aaron as they both headed for the locker room.   

“You know The Counter, it’s one of my favourite cafés to go to for lunch, it’s not too far from here.”

“I don’t, but I trust you,” Robert said with a wink. They quickly changed and headed to the café, confident that the rest of today’s rehearsal would go better.

 

\---

 

Opening day was closing in, they had a week left and they definitely still needed that week. Just a few days ago everything seemed to go according to schedule, they were even ahead a little bit, but now they were seriously struggling. The individual scenes had all been perfected by now, but the transitions between them were just not working. People were out of time constantly and once one problem had be resolved another one seemed to rear its ugly head. Now everyone was starting to get frustrated which didn’t help matters either.

After yet another failed attempt to switch between scenes the stage director called for a break. He gave everyone half an hour to get their heads straight again in the hope that rehearsals would go better after it.

Aaron didn’t really know what to do with himself in that half an hour. Adam wasn’t here today as only him, Robert, Ruby and the female dancers were needed for this rehearsal, so he couldn’t go and talk to him like normal. He liked the female dancers sure, but he didn’t feel like talking to them today and none of them came up to him either. Nor did they come up to Robert he noticed, the other man was off by himself again, clearly not making an effort to talk to someone either. Maybe he should go and talk to him he thought as to room filled up with female voices chatting to each other. They had mostly managed to leave their stilted conversation behind after their shared lunch the other week. Had actually had a laugh as Robert had suggested some bougie new café the next day, a café that they both ended up hating the minute they sat down and a waiter dressed in some brightly coloured monstrosity and a fake American accent had come up to them.

He walked over to the other side of the room were Robert was sat looking down at his phone. The way he was slouched down astonished Aaron a little bit, the other man usually held himself with the posture befitting a professional ballet dancer, but clearly years of training couldn’t stop you from slouching when you looked at your phone. Aaron knew he did the same, probably had terrible posture outside of work regardless of what he was doing.

Robert glanced up from his phone as Aaron sat down next to him, a relieved smile visible on his face.

“Hiya,” Aaron greeted with a friendly smile.

“Hey?” Robert said slightly unsure.

“Didn’t fancy chatting to the women either?”

Robert shrugged. “We’re a bit outnumbered today aren’t we?’  

“Aren’t we always,” Aaron grinned back. Most of the men in the company had started off being one of very few -if not only – male dancers in their ballet schools back at home.

Robert laughed at that, his face lighting up as he nodded in agreement at what Aaron was saying. It was great to see him like that, seemingly carefree for just a second, lips stretching in a wide grin and eyes crinkling, showing of a twinkle in those blue eyes. He couldn’t help but think that Robert looked amazing like this - he always looked good- but seeing him like this made his heart ache with something, something like affection?   

Robert’s face twisted in confusion as Aaron just stared at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” Aaron shrugged, “Just nice to see you smile.”

“Shut up,” Robert breathed out, a slight blush appearing on his face.

“So, you got anyone coming on opening night?” Aaron decided to change the subject.

“No, not really, my sister couldn’t get the day off.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. What about your friend from the pub the other day?”

“Daniel? He’s got his own show to dance in, probably be a while before he has a chance to come out,” Robert said with a shrug. “You got anyone coming?”

“Yeah, my mum always comes on opening nights and there’ll probably be a bunch of other Dingles tagging along like usual.”

“Your mum a big fan of ballet?”

“I mean over the years she’s come to enjoy it for sure, but I don’t think she’d ever seen a ballet before I started dancing. Don’t think anyone in my family had to be honest, but they’ve all been great from the start. Especially my mum, she’s always been my biggest supporter.”

“Yeah, mine was as well,” Robert said sadly.

“Was?”

“She died when I was 14.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“Was a long time ago,” Robert tried to shrug it off.

“Still, can’t have been easy.”

“No, I wish she would’ve been able to see me dance on that stage, she would’ve loved it.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she would have,” Aaron agreed. He couldn’t imagine not having his mum there to support him through all of this.

“What about your dad?” asked wary of the possibility of getting the same question in return, but he wanted to get to know the other man better.

“Dead as well,” Robert shrugged.

“Oh wow, sorry.”

“’s alright,” Robert shrugged again, clearly feeling differently about his father’s death. Also clearly wanting the conversation to be over if the look of relieve that crossed his face as the stage director called them over again was anything to go by.

 

\---

 

Shit, he had fucked everything up. He just couldn’t help himself could he, he just needed to have Aaron and now he had gone and fucked everything up. And the day before the opening of the new show of all days.

He hadn’t been able to stop it from happening. They had just finished their last rehearsal of the day, both of them a sweaty mess. Ruby had gone home half an hour ago as him and Aaron had continued to work on their duet some more. The piece really didn’t help either, Antoine and Etienne were so riled up in the duet, so in each other’s face fighting for Mathilde. Seeing Aaron dance so passionately Robert had felt Etienne’s hatred turn into his own lust. Seeing the muscles ripple underneath Aaron’s skin as he twisted his body around and jumped high into the air, he could barely keep it together long enough for their stage director to thank them and leave the room.

The second he heard the door close he had been on him, Aaron letting out a surprised little huff as Robert had manhandled him against the wall. They had stared at each other for what had felt like ages, breath hot against each other’s face as it was still slightly laboured from the rehearsal, their eyes flicking down to the other’s lips every so often. A twinkle had started to glimmer in Aaron’s eyes as he had looked up after looking down at Aaron’s lips for the third time. A little excited grin had started to twitch on Aaron’s lips as he deliberately looked down at Robert’s lips again, as if to say _go on then, what you gonna do about it?_ , reminding Robert of their kiss in the pub.

Robert had hold off long enough for Aaron to actually start leaning in himself, but then he hadn’t been able to stop himself. Seeing the other man tilt up his head as he leaned into him, all he could do was press forward and press his lips against Aaron’s. They had kissed hard, all teeth and tongue, and hands twisted into hair.

As Robert’s hands had wandered down to Aaron’s shorts they hadn’t been interrupted by a door slamming shut or Adam walking in, no Robert had gotten the handful of Aaron’s arse he had been craving for. Aaron returning the move as he pulled Robert against him, hard cock clear through the layers as it pressed against Robert’s.

He had shoved the shorts off swiftly, pulling the offending material of his dance belt down with it; and he had finally, finally gotten his eyes on Aaron’s cock. His thick length standing proudly, twitching as Robert’s fingers ran over it with the faintest of touches. Robert could still hear Aaron’s moan as he had wrapped his hand around it, feeling the weight of it in his hand. Aaron’s hands had started to move then, tugging at the tights that clung to Robert’s thighs, until finally he could wrap his own hand around Robert. Robert had groaned at the feeling of it, something he had been craving for so long. It had been so long since he had gotten off with someone, since he had had something more than his own hand, let alone someone he had been lusting after for weeks. And now he had finally had Aaron’s touch on him, broad hand wrapped tightly around him as they jerked each other off.

Moans had been lapped up by tongues twisting around each other, bodies pressed close as arms twisted between them. It had been over way too quickly, both of them chasing their release from the get go, like a pair of teenagers. Aaron had come first, body tensing as cum had spurted out over Robert’s hand; Robert could still feel where Aaron’s teeth had dug into his bottom lip. He had followed soon after, face pressed into Aaron’s shoulder to muffle the shout that escaped from his lips as he came.

Aaron had slumped back against the wall they were pressed against, Robert’s body following along. They had stood there, getting their breath back, for what felt like a long time; eyes roaming over each other’s face as their foreheads were pressed together.

Eventually the real world had come back into focus, reminding them of their surroundings, of where they were. Clothes were quickly pulled back up as uncertainty had come crashing down around them, both of them scrabbling for their bags, before running off to the locker room. His eyes had followed the other man’s movements as he changed clothes, flicking away as soon as Aaron’s eyes flicked up to his. He had known then that he had fucked up, they had finally been getting on, had formed that trust that they needed for the show; but he had to go and mess it all up, had let his body’s needs get the better of him.

And now it was opening day, morning class was in full swing and he’d been zoning out because the next thing he knows the ballet master is calling him out on his mistakes. He focussed back on the series of moves they were supposed to go through, but he felt his mind start to wander again quickly.

Aaron and him had finally started to get rid of their lingering awkwardness after their kisses, had finally started to have normal conversations and some laughs and now he had fucked up everything again because he had to be selfish. Well, Aaron hadn’t been complaining last night, his brain helpfully supplied accompanied by the memory of Aaron’s groan as he had come. Still the tentative friendship they had managed to build was definitely in pieces again because Robert couldn’t keep his body in check.

He glanced over to where the other man was warming up, usual pair of loose shorts and vest replaced by black knee length tights and a tight white shirt reminiscent of their old school outfits, the image caused him to slip out of his attitude position.

“Robert, focus, it’s opening day for God’s sake,” the ballet master reprimanded him. He looked down dejectedly, getting called out not once but twice made him feel like a child, the ballet master’s words ringing through his head in his father’s. Frustration starting to cloud his brain as nothing seemed to go right this morning. Usually he was the perfect image of concentration and focus on opening days, closed off in his own bubble, but not too closed off to forget the other people around him. Now his mind kept wandering over to the brunet. Aaron had barely spared him a glance that morning and it hurt more than Robert had expected. He already missed Aaron’s cheeky grin, the twinkle in his blue eyes as he teased him, the soft smile on his face as he talked about his family, but now all of that was closed off again.

He was in too deep, and he had surely fucked up any chance of having more with last night’s actions. How the hell were they going to get through the day like this? They still had a full day of rehearsals before opening night. Opening night, the Royal Opera House would be packed with people, family and friends, and journalists. Family would cut them some slack, but the journalists wouldn’t. It was the Royal Ballet’s first original piece in a long while and it had to be perfect, but how would they even manage that if him and Aaron couldn’t look at each other for more than two seconds?        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, since I don't even have 1k words written for the next chapter yet. But let's aim for 2 weeks?
> 
> As always kudos/comments make my writer's heart soar.  
> And you can find me over at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com) on tumblr


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! I found some stuff I had written in a notebook a while ago and actually managed to finish a chapter already :D! It's a quite dialogue heavy one, but I hope you all like it :)
> 
> (Also this is from Aaron’s POV again, it just worked out liked that, will probably be back to switching between them in the next chapter).

He heard the murmur of people in the theatre get louder and louder as he walked down the stairs towards the backstage area. He crossed the sign that told them the audience would be able to hear them from there on and finally found himself stage left. Nervous energy was running through his body as he caught a glimpse of the people finding their seats. This was only his 3rd show as a principle and it was his first original work. He knew his mum would be somewhere in the crowd of people, orchestra, row five, seat 16, to be precise, he had gotten her a seat smack-dab in the middle. Cain would probably be sitting next to her along with Lisa and Belle. Marlon, Charity and April were somewhere else in the theatre as he had only been able to reserve four tickets.

Cain had most likely been pressured by his mum to come along, his uncle still not the biggest fan of ballet, but he would do anything for his sister and his nephew. Lisa and Belle had come to love ballet and had been to most of his shows over the years. Marlon was only there because April had begged him, saying she was old enough to go and see Aaron perform now. And Charity was probably only there to get out of her shift of the Woolpack. Whatever their reason was for coming, Aaron appreciated it a lot, it was always great to share the high from an opening night performance with his family afterwards. He wondered how Robert must feel right now, no family there to support him.

Speaking of Robert, he caught his gaze briefly as Robert made his way over to the other side of the stage where he would enter. Yesterday’s events had played through Aaron’s mind all day long, not the best preparation for opening night but he had clearly been able to hide it better than Robert, as the other man had been called out more than once during the day. They hadn’t really spoken throughout the day, both trying to keep focussed on getting everything right for opening night.

He heard the opening notes ring through the theatre and looked over as Ruby entered the stage from the coulisse next to him. She danced her opening scene and one by one the other dancers entered the stage until it was only Aaron and Robert left backstage. He looked over to the other side of the stage and found Robert’s eyes focussed on him, with a small nod he acknowledged him. Robert nodded back and then they both entered the stage.

Aaron forgot about everything else around him and was fully focussed on dancing his heart out. Movements flowing from him as he danced the first pas de deux with Ruby, eyes focussed on the woman in his arms as he lifted her up easily and spun her in a pirouette. Then smirking over at Robert’s Etienne as he dipped her right in front of him. The characters’ battle for her hand had started.

A roaring applause burst through his bubble as they finished their pas de deux and he left the stage for Robert’s scene and pas de deux with Ruby. He had a few minutes to catch his breath before he was right back in another intense scene. Time seemed to fly as all of a sudden it was time for his and Robert’s duet. They looked at each other from opposite ends of the stage, reminiscent of the start of the show, and with another mutual nod they ran onto the stage and jumped up, both of them forming a perfectly timed jeté. He grabbed Robert’s arm and twisted him around and into his body, hands wrapping around his waist as he lifted him up high, eyes focussed on each other the whole time. Sparks were flying between them as Aaron lowered Robert back to the floor. Their hands lingered slightly as Etienne twisted away from Antoine in defiance, before both of their character started a petit allegro.

As they ended their quick movements their characters tried to one up each other by performing more and more complicated movements, until finally they burst and Aaron’s lift was coming up. Antoine made out to move away from Etienne, but then twisted around with a turn in the air before ‘launching’ himself at the other man in anger. Aaron runs up to Robert and feels the other man’s hands wrap around his hips as Robert lifts him up, turns around with the momentum before pushing him off again. Antoine seems to have lost the battle and applause rings through the opera house as Etienne dances victoriously, but then out of nowhere Antoine comes back and Etienne’s victorious sissonne clashes with Antoine’s aggressive sissonne and both of their characters are knocked down.

As Aaron and Robert fall down, Ruby’s Mathilde runs back onto the stage to see both of her suitors dead. She caresses both of them in a mournful dance, before being joined by the other female dancers in a synchronised dance as she stands strong while Aaron and Robert get dragged off stage by Adam and Alex.

Ruby finishes off with an impressive pirouette another loud roar of applause is reverberated throughout the Royal Opera House. Adrenaline rushes through his body as Robert and him run back onto stage to take their bows. Both of them grab one of Ruby’s hands as all three of them bow, before Ruby steps forward to take her own. People are standing and the applause seems deafening; and Aaron can’t seem to wipe the grin of his face as he takes in his surroundings.

A great opening night.

          

\---

 

“Mate, have you read this?” Adam asked as he walks into their kitchen holding a newspaper. He must have gone out to get it, as they don’t normally get papers.

“What?”

“The review of the show,” Adam said as he shoves the newspaper into his hands.

 _“Brilliantly mesmerizing new Royal Ballet original.”_ The headline reads.

It talks about the basic premise of the story and praises Ruby’s performance, but the next line mentions him and Robert.

“ _The male competitors, while showing their skills to impress Mathilde, played by female lead Ruby Rosenthal, seem to actually have more sexual tension with each other than the female lead.”_

Aaron huffs, “What are they on about?”

“Mate, it’s true though. It’s like there’s an invisible thread that you each keep pulling on, but you never seem to be able to get to each other.”

“Since when are you all metaphorical?” Aaron asks his best friend. Adam is great, but not always the smartest and hearing him spout some random metaphorical shit is confusing.

“I’m not, read the rest of the article.”

He reads the rest of the article, it mentions the bit that Adam had spouted at him. The writer wondering if this apparent sexual tension between the male leads is intentional or not. It then goes on to talk about the rest of the show and the other company dancers, before ending with the details of where to find tickets for the show.

The article gets him thinking. If even complete strangers could see what was going on between them, then why were they still playing this game?

Aaron wanted him, the two kisses they had shared had already left him wanting more, but then the itch should’ve been gone after their escapades the other day; it wasn’t gone, if anything his body craved more. He also knew Robert was right. Getting involved would complicate things at work. Especially now that they were in the same show and in these roles that shared so many scenes. Was Aaron willing to risk the fragile working relationship they had managed to build over the last few weeks?

 

\---

 

“My sister is coming to the show today,” Robert said a few days after opening night. They hadn’t mentioned what had happened the day before opening night, but they hadn’t gone back to avoiding each other either, so Aaron considered it progress. 

“That’s nice, right?” Aaron said with a smile, it always felt great to have family in the audience, he assumed Robert felt the same.

“Yes, it’s great. She would’ve come on opening night, but she couldn’t get out of work.”

“Ah, that sucks. What does she do?”

“She’s a cook in a pub,” Robert said with a frown.

“Not what you had in mind for her?” Aaron questioned.

“No, she’s way too good to be stuck in a village pub cooking grub for the local boozers. I’ve been trying to convince her to apply to a culinary school over here for ages now. I think she’s about to finally give in, now that I’m back in London, and she’s been moaning about her colleagues a lot lately.”

“It’s nice that you look after her like that,” Aaron replied.

“Yeah, well, I missed too much of her growing up already, guess I’m trying to make up for that still,” Robert sighs with a wary look on his face that intrigues Aaron.

“Why is that?”

“It’s complicated,” Robert replied too quickly, like it has become a rehearsed answer.

“Try me?”

“It wasn’t by choice. After my mum died… stuff… happened and I didn’t see her anymore, not until 7 years later when my dad died. She’s been coming to my shows ever since though, even came to Paris a bunch of times and we were able to forge a pretty great bond over the years.”

“Well, you should invite her backstage, introduce her to everyone,” Aaron responded, though his mind was racing with this new information. What was the ‘stuff’ that had happened all those years ago? Why hadn’t he seen his family for years? He had a feeling it was something to do with his father. Robert really didn’t like talking about him, but he didn’t want to push the other man. Knew he wouldn’t want people pushing him to talk about his. If Robert wanted to tell him he would, eventually.   

 

\---

 

“Victoria?” Aaron asked as Robert was about to introduce them.

“Aaron, hey.”

“Wait, you’re Robert’s sister?”

“Duh, you hadn’t made the connection yet? _Sugden_?

“Yeah, well there’s bound to be more Sugdens around than just your lot,” Aaron shrugged.

“What about all the times I mentioned going to London to see my brother called Robert perform,” Victoria chuckled.

“Wait, you two know each other already?” Robert asked, confused by the conversation going on in front of him.

“Why’d you never say you’re from Emmerdale?” was the response he got from Aaron instead.

“Hang on, you never did either!”

“Oh boys, you’re both as thick as each other,” Victoria said shaking her head. “With you both in the same show, I’d assumed you knew.”

“Okay, so how exactly do you know each other?” Robert asked again.

“Emmerdale is a tiny village, everyone knows everyone. Don’t tell me you’d forgotten about that. And well she works in me mum’s pub.”

“Well, I haven’t really been back since I was 21 and then before that I hadn’t been back since I was 14,” Robert shrugged.

He sees Vic give Aaron a _don’t ask_ look, which he’s grateful for. Though he assumed Aaron would be able to connect some of the dots after their talk about his parents.

“Wait, so you couldn’t come to opening night because my family was coming?” Aaron interrupted his train of thought.

“Yeah, they should really get some more non-Dingle staff at the Woolie! I was stuck working the bar and kitchen on my own until Bob was done at the caf! Anyway, now that we’re all caught up, let’s hit the town eh.”

“Vic, come on it’s the middle of the week, we’ve got a full day of work tomorrow,” Robert groaned, his body was already starting to ache now that the adrenaline boost from the performance was wearing off.

“Oh come on Robert! It’s one night, I’m sure you’ll be alright you old sod,” Vic said grinning broadly at her brother. “You coming with Aaron?”

“Yeah alright then, don’t want to be called old now do I? Is it okay if I ask Adam along as well?”

“Sure, the more the merrier. See Robert, Aaron’s coming.”

“Okay, okay, stop pestering me already,” Robert whined, but a smile starts pulling at his lips.

 

\---

 

They had found their way to a pub not that far from the theatre, none of them feeling up to getting a taxi somewhere further away. The pub’s bustling around them, but not over crowded. It reminds Aaron of the Woolpack in a way, some obvious regulars are propped up at the bar. The booths filled with people nursing pints, some shoving handfuls of prawn cocktail crisps into their mouths as they chat amicably. There’s a more even mix of regulars and outsiders than there ever is in the Woolpack, but then they are in London after all. A young couple sits in the booth next to them, speaking a language he can’t really make out; a group of men with American accents are laughing loudly over at the booth in the corner, clearly having already downed a few. But it’s nice, easy, letting his sore muscles relax in the worn down leather from the booth they had managed to snag.

Adam and Vic had hit it off pretty quick and were now lost in their own world, leaving Aaron and Robert to entertain themselves.

“So why didn’t you tell me about her before?” Aaron asked.

“Well, I told you I had a sister didn’t I. Didn’t really think you’d know her, so why bother? And you never asked either,” Robert shrugged.

“Fair. Why’d you tell me about her coming today though?”

“Ever heard of making conversation, you know what we’re doing now,” Robert grinned. “Nah, I told you she couldn’t come opening night didn’t I, so I guess I wanted to tell you. Wanted to tell someone and as you may have noticed I don’t really have any other friends here yet. Not in the company at least and most of my old friends have moved to other places by now.” Robert seemed to hesitated slightly on the word friend, was that what they were?

“Right, so I was your only option?”

“Well, we had at least _talked_ before,” Robert smirked, insinuation clear.

Aaron blushed slightly, mind all too eager to bring what had happened in the rehearsal room a few days ago back up to the forefront of his mind. He tried to ignore the insinuation though, in favour of questioning Robert some more; he wanted to find out more about him.  

“So, why’d you come back to London if most of your friends have gone?”

“Like I said, London is my home. I guess I’m just a sentimental fool like that…” Robert said wistfully.

“Emmerdale not home to you anymore then?”      

Robert just shook his head. “As I mentioned before, I haven’t been back there in 10 years. And that was only for two days, I hadn’t been back for 7 years before that.” Robert said, still avoiding the reason why he hadn’t been back there in so long. “It is to you?”

Aaron thought about that for a while. His family was back in Emmerdale, but it hadn’t really been his real home in a long time. Which is what he told Robert. The other man nodded.

“So, you go back there often?” Robert asked, turning the questions back on him.

“Hmm, not as often as I like. My mum comes down to London often enough, but I still miss her a lot. And the rest of ‘em only come down here every so often, opening nights mostly. So whenever I get the chance to make the trip up there I do. Wouldn’t dream of living back there full time though, much prefer the city life.”

“No gossiping old ladies, amiright,” Robert chuckled.

  

\---

 

They talked some more about Emmerdale, but eventually the conversation diverged to other topics. They didn’t even talk about ballet, the conversation flowing easily without the need to fall back on that common ground.

Aaron saw Robert trying to stifle a yawn; feeling a yawn of his own start in response. He glanced over at the clock by the bar, it was almost midnight, the pub would be closing soon; it already being open later than most.

“We should probably head home, about to get kicked out anyway,” Aaron said. They were the only people left apart from the lone stranger sat at the bar that had just downed the last of his pint, and the bartender who was beginning to give them more and more dirty looks, clearly eager to close up.

“Yeah, let’s go. We can walk together, what way is your place?” Victoria asked.

Aaron told her which street him and Adam lived on and they found out that they lived only a few streets away from Robert, so they could walk a fair bit together.

Adam and Victoria walked a few steps in front of them, still chatting along easily even though they hadn’t stopped to catch their breath all night. Robert and him walked together quietly, happy to let the noises of the city be their soundtrack. Their shoulders brushed lightly every so often with how close they had ended up walking, sending a shiver down his spine every time. He could see his and Adam’s house dooming up all too soon and found himself slowing down his steps, not ready to say goodbye to Robert yet. They had both opened up more in the few hours in that pub than they had in the almost 2 months that they had been working together and he couldn’t help but want to know more.

“Oi Aaron lad, you coming or what?” Adam called out to them, already at their front door.

“Well this is me…” Aaron murmured.

“Right. See you tomorrow then?” Robert said softly, eyes roaming over Aaron’s face as if to take him in just once more. His hair was all floppy, falling over his forehead, having dried naturally after his post show shower; cheeks slightly red from the cold wind. He looked slightly sleepy and so much younger, and it made Aaron feel all soft inside.  

“Yeah,” he sighed. And then all of a sudden lips were pressing against his cheek, gone all too soon again, but they left a his cheek tingling. A slight blush creeped up his neck as Robert hurried away, grabbing his sisters hand as if to get away as quickly as possible.

“Mate, you’ve got it bad,” Adam said all of a sudden, he hadn’t even notices his best friend walking up to him.

“Shut up,” Aaron huffed, quickly drawing the hand that was pressed against his cheek away, when had that happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No promises on when the next chapter will be up, as I really haven't written anything for that this time. But hopefully the wait won't be too long :)
> 
> As always kudos/comments make my writer's heart soar.  
> And you can find me over at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com) on tumblr


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for leaving this so long. I kinda got distracted by writing dryan fic (pls go read them if you're into dryan fic and you haven't already) and just really struggled with writing this fic in general. So yeah sorry for the 2 month wait on updates. I hope I will get another chapter up quicker this time, but once again nothing is written for it yet so it might still be a while, though hopefully shorter than this time around. 
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter, turns out I actually had quite a bit of it written for ages already, oops.

Robert is walking towards the cafeteria for his lunch – Saturdays having a later start meaning he doesn’t have time to go out for lunch like usual- when he hears it. There’s music coming from one of the smaller dance studios, but not the piano music he’s used to hearing come from all directions, no it sounds like it’s coming from a phone, something with actual lyrics. Curiosity piqued he walks over to the door that’s slightly opened and looks inside. What he finds is not what he was expecting. A sole figure is dancing to the music. Aaron.

Aaron seems to be lost in the music, moving to it easily. It’s mesmerizing, seeing him dance so freely, movements not perfectly measured out like in performances, but by no means sloppy. Robert slips into the dance studio and let’s himself sink down to the floor quietly, but Aaron doesn’t seem to notice him anyway, looking right through him as he turns to be faced towards Robert. Robert looks at the other man in awe, his muscles flexing with every new move and beads of sweat are glistening on his skin, but it’s the way he’s dancing that really amazes Robert. He doesn’t recognise the song that’s coming from the phone that’s lying on the ground in front of the mirrored wall, but Aaron’s dancing translates the emotion in the song perfectly.

The song ends and the room is engulfed in silence for a few seconds until the phone switches onto the next song before Aaron can turn it off. It’s then that he notices Robert sat on the floor mere centimetres from the door.

“Robert?”

“Wow, that was amazing.”

“What are you doing here Robert?” Aaron asked, ignoring Robert’s compliment.

Robert shakes himself from the lingering feeling of awe and focusses on what Aaron is asking. “Was on my way to lunch when I heard music. I couldn’t stop staring when I noticed it was you, sorry.”

“’s fine,” Aaron mumbled, his already flushed face not able to hide the blush that seems to creep up at Robert’s words.

“Where did that come from?” Robert asked, he’d never seen the younger man dance like that. Sure he always danced amazing, but he seemed so free, not worried about making mistakes or getting the timing perfect.

“Just needed to get out of my head, dancing helps,” Aaron mumbled again, trying to shrug it off, but Robert wouldn’t let him this time.

“Why’d you need to get out of your head?” He was trying to make an effort, get to know Aaron and maybe build this tentative friendship they had, into something more.

Aaron shrugged but wouldn’t meet Robert’s eye anymore and the penny dropped. It was him, Robert was the thing that was bothering Aaron.

“Me?” he questioned.     

Aaron stayed quiet, eyes still firmly fixed onto the studio floor. He looked so small all of a sudden, shoulders hunched up defensively. Robert reached out slowly and gently placed his hand on Aaron’s chin, making sure Aaron was looking at him as he spoke next.

“Come on Aaron, I can’t help if I don’t know what’s bothering you. I want to help.”

Aaron’s eyes flicked over his face, emotion swirling in them. He was biting at his bottom lip nervously before he opened his mouth as if to speak, but it wasn’t words that came out because before he knew it Robert felt lips press against his. He kissed back for a second, couldn’t not, but he knew he had to stop it, knew this wouldn’t help the situation, would only further complicate things. 

He pulled back with a sigh, “Wait.”

“See this is what I mean,” Aaron said frowning.

And before Robert even had time to process what Aaron meant by that, Aaron had pulled away and grabbed his bag and phone from the floor making his way towards the exit.

“What? Aaron wait!” Robert called out after the younger man. But Aaron just kept walking, now making his way through the long corridor towards he locker rooms.

“Aaron! Aaron come on! Aaron!” Robert called out again, now running after Aaron.

The locker room door slammed in his face, but he burst right in anyway adamant to finally talk to Aaron and get this mess sorted out.

“Don’t walk away from me!”

“Feels shit doesn’t it?!” Aaron bellowed back.

“What?”

“Feels shit getting shut out doesn’t it? Getting walked away from? Now you know how I’ve felt the last couple of weeks Robert, because all you seem to be able to do is walk away.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on Robert, don’t be daft. You kissed me, not me, _you_ and then you immediately backed off, saying you can’t do this, when it was you that started it.”

“Well-”

“No, don’t. I’m trying to explain, give you that explanation you so dearly wanted from me, right?” Aaron said frustration clear on his face, so Robert backed off holding up his hands for him to continue. “And then in the pub you’re right back at it again, playing right along with this little game we were playing. That wasn’t backing off Robert, you were clearly into it just as much otherwise you wouldn’t have followed me into the bogs, would’ve stayed with your friend or left for another pub, but you didn’t. And then I don’t hear from you again.”

Aaron huffed out a breath, eyes flicking across Robert’s face as if to gauge his reaction. It doesn’t feel like he’s done yet though, so Robert keeps quiet, lets him gather his thoughts and get it all out. They’d been heading towards this for a long time now, needed to clear the air and get both of their intentions straight.

After a minute of silence that seemed to stretch for ages Aaron finally speaks up again.

“Right, so then back at work you ignore the hell out of me, so I think well I guess nothing’s going to happen. And like okay that sucked, but it happens ya know. But then there you go again, on the day before opening night of all days. And then it’s right back to ignoring me the next day.”

Robert tries to speak up then, because he wasn’t ignoring Aaron, not really he was just trying to focus on the premier of the show.

“I know, I know you were just trying to focus on the show. I know, so was I, but still that was opening day, you didn’t bring it back up after that either. And then we go out with Vic and Adam. And we had fun, right?” Robert nods. “And then you kiss me, right in front of them. So I just don’t know what to do with you anymore, you’re hot one minute than cold the next. And now you’re right back to cold again it seems,” Aaron said with a frustrated groan.

“Aaron no, no that wasn’t why I pulled away just now.”

Aaron looks up at him unsure, “Why then?”

“Aaron, ugh, we’ve made a right mess of things haven’t we. God Aaron, I want you okay, I really do, but we’ve been doing this all backwards. And I just… I just want this to be more than a fling that will ruin our friendship afterwards. Everything’s been going so fast, I just want to give this, _us,_ a proper go. Take you out on a date, get to really know ya, see if there’s more than just the physical to this. And I’m sorry I’ve made you feel like I was stringing you along this whole time, I know it must’ve felt shit, but I wanted to be sure. And I think I am now,” Robert said wistfully.

A number of emotions crossed Aaron’s face as Robert talked. Confusion, hope, relieve and back to hope.

“So, was that you asking me out on a date then?” Aaron said cheekily, eyes glinting playfully.  

Robert chuckled. “Guess I am. What about tomorrow around 7? I know just the place, I’ll come pick you up,” he said with a hopeful look on his face. He meant what he said to Aaron, he really just wanted to give them a proper go. 

“Seven sounds alright. Do I get any hints on where we’re going? Any dress code?”

“Nope. And something smart casual will be fine, don’t worry about it I have come to know you over the last couple of weeks.”

“You calling me a slob?”

Robert shook his head with a fond smile, “I’ll see you tomorrow at 7.”

 

\---

 

He’s fidgeting with the buttons of his coat as he waits for Aaron to open the door. He had stopped himself from standing in front of the house without ringing the doorbell, pressing the button before any doubts could settle in. Now though he was starting to worry he’d pressed the wrong button, was in front of the wrong house altogether or if Aaron had stood him up, because the door was still firmly closed. He’s about to press the button to ring again when the door is pulled open. It’s not Aaron though. Adam is grinning at him, giving him a once over without saying anything.

“Uhm?” Robert said.

“Aaron! Robert’s here!” Adam bellows up the stairs.

He hears a door slam closed before heavy steps can be heard thundering down the stairs. “I told you I’d get it Ads.”

“You were taking ages though, can’t have him standing outside in the cold now, can we?” Adam said, grin still plastered on his face. But Robert’s gaze is quickly diverted from the smiling man as Aaron reaches the end of the stairs. He can’t help the way his jaw drops at the sight of him. He’s wearing a red jumper, paired with a burgundy jacket, a pair of dark jeans and brown leather boots. His hair is styled with just a little bit of product to leave him with a mop of beautifully shiny curls and his beard is trimmed slightly. He looks stunning and no one should blame Robert when he zones out of the conversation Adam and Aaron seem to be having.

“You look amazing.” The words leave his mouth before he can stop them. Aaron grins over at him, fidgeting with the zipper of his jacket as he takes Robert in. He hears Adam mutter something about taking forever as he walks away, but he ignores the other man’s retreating form in favour of Aaron.

“So do you,” Aaron muttered back, eyes still lingering on the bit of Robert’s skin that was visible under the open collar of his long coat.

“You ready to go then?”

Aaron patted his pockets to make sure he had his wallet and keys before nodding his assent.

He hears the cabbie mutter something about them taking forever, but ignores him as they settle into the back of the cab. As both of them lived in the middle of London neither of them had their own car. He could have walked over to Aaron and Adam’s house, but the restaurant he had decided to take Aaron to was quite far from either of their houses and he didn’t want to have to wait on a cab.

“So where are you taking me to?” Aaron asked as the car pulled away from the curb.

“You do know how surprises work right,” Robert grinned back at him. He had given the cabbie the address of the restaurant before they had gotten to Aaron’s to avoid the other man finding out where they were going. He had found a steakhouse that was just fancy enough for a date, but not too fancy to put Aaron off.

The restaurant was about a 15 minute drive away, just on the edge of Hyde park and they fell into an easy conversation as they drove there. Aaron was complaining about Adam trying to give him shit advice for their date and that he would only stop if Aaron asked Robert about what Victoria had said about him. Adam clearly already smitten with Robert’s sister after only spending a few hours with her.

He told Aaron that Victoria hadn’t been able to stop gushing about Adam either and that she regretted not giving Adam her number. So that’s how he ended up rattling off Victoria’s number to Aaron so that he could text it to Adam whilst they were driving to the restaurant. Maybe it gave his sister even more reason to move to London and start that culinary course she had been thinking about for years now.

Time seemed to fly by because before they knew it the cab pulled over in front of the restaurant. Grosvener House spelled out in big letters at the front of the building.

“You’re not actually expecting me to stay in a hotel with you on our first date right?” Aaron said jokingly.

“No, just the restaurant. I wouldn’t just presume, even when we’ve already done… stuff,” Robert said gesturing vaguely. “I hope you like steak though, because we’re going to the JW Steakhouse that’s also here.”

“Love it.”

 

\---

 

As they entered the restaurant a blonde woman offered to take their coats after Robert had given her his name. He wasn’t prepared for what Robert was hiding under his coat. His coat already looked amazing, but as the rest of his outfit was revealed Aaron had to put serious effort into not letting his jaw drop. Robert was wearing tight dark wash jeans that did wonders for him, showing off his arse nicely. A pale pink dress shirt that fit him perfectly was tucked into them tightly and paired with a navy tie. It was understated, but looked stunning on Robert. He’d only ever seen Robert in casual sportswear and a smart suit on their opening night, but this was the perfect middle ground.  

Aaron looked around the restaurant in awe as a waiter lead them towards their table. Over the years at the Royal Ballet he had been invited to some really fancy restaurants, but this was something else. It wasn’t that it was overly fancy, like he may have expected from Robert. No it was just the right amount of fancy, elegant but not gaudy. As they were lead towards their table he noticed the big blackboard that spanned the entire left hand wall of the restaurant, the menu printed on it in bold white letters. And another wall showed off an extensive selection of liquor.

He gulped slightly at the prices of the steaks as they were handed their menus, debating whether he should just go for a cheaper burger instead, but Robert was quick to tell him to pick whatever he wanted no matter the cost. He tried to argue, but the other man seemed adamant to pay for tonight’s meal. ‘I asked you out Aaron, I’ll pay.’ Robert told him, effectively closing the discussion. 

The restaurant was bustling with noise as almost every table was booked, with some other people still waiting at the bar. Their drinks were placed in front of them quickly. Aaron had pulled a face at Robert suggestion of some special wine, so a pint of beer was set in front of him instead, while Robert got a glass of his wine instead of a bottle to share.

Conversation flowed easily between them. They laugh about the horrible teachers they had both had at the Royal Ballet School, most of Robert’s teachers had still been there when Aaron was in school. Robert talks about his time in Paris when Aaron asks about it, because while he is happy at the Royal Ballet it’s interesting to hear about Robert’s experience at another company.

Robert seems reluctant to talk about his family, he mostly talks about Victoria, though he does mention his adoptive brother and step-mum. He really hasn’t been back home for a long time though, as he barely seems to know anything about them, only having found out about his step-mum after his father had died. Robert’s backstory is intriguing, but he seems to keep it locked away tightly so Aaron is already happy with what he knows.

They talk about his family as well, how most of them are still in Emmerdale though his mum swears there’s family in Ireland as well. He’s never been there so he just has to take her word for it. He tells Robert about how he tries to go back to Emmerdale whenever big family events are happening. How he had feared throwing up on the train back home two days after his cousins wedding, because he had drank so much.

Time seems to fly as the chat and indulge in the delicious food that is brought out and Aaron can’t seem to stop smiling. It’s nice, nice to be out on a date again. He hadn’t really been on a date since Brian, the few hook-ups he had had not involving any dating. So yes this is nice, he thinks to himself as he listens to Robert go on about something or other.   

 

\---

 

“Why did you think this was a good idea? It’s March, it’s still freezing outside and you expected an ice cream shop to be open?”

“I was trying to be romantic and spontaneous and we still got ice cream!” Robert exclaimed.

“Yeah from a freaking gas station, you’re lucky I like Cornetto’s,” Aaron laughed as he licked at his ice cream. They had decided to walk through Hyde Park as they ate their desserts, foregoing a dessert at the restaurant in favour of a treat from an ice cream shop might not have been Robert’s smartest decision, but walking through the park together was nice.

There were still quite a few people in the park, despite the late hour and cold, but then this was London and there were always people milling about. Their shoulders bumped into each other as they walked, both of them having moved closer to the other as they walked.

“You’ve got a little…” Robert gestured at Aaron’s chin where a smudge of chocolate sat. He knew it was a cliché rom-com move but when Aaron wiping at his chin didn’t remove the smudge he leaned in to get it. “Let me get it for ya,” he whispered as he went to wipe at the smudge with his thumb. He heard Aaron’s breath catch as he softly wiped at his chin. Their eyes met and the rest of the world seemed to fall away as he lost himself in Aaron’s eyes and before he knew it he was leaning in, pressing his lips against Aaron’s. Aaron let out a little whimper before he was kissing back with fervour.

He let out a hiss as Aaron’s ice cold hands found his neck, fingers digging into the back of his head as he pulled him in closer. His lips were warm and soft though, and his tongue was a hot wetness as it swiped over Robert’s lips. His mouth fell open on a gasp, his own tongue soon connecting with Aaron’s.

They kissed for a long time, cold noses warming up as they rubbed against each other. But they were pulled out of their trance as someone loudly huffed at them to get out of the pathway. The broke apart, foreheads resting against each other as they grinned at each other, the stranger giving up on them and moving around them through the grass with another loud huff. Neither of them could keep in the laughs that fell from their lips as the rest of the world come back into focus. The rhythmic fall of feet as a runner walked by them, the laughter coming from a group of teenagers further down the path, the rush of cars in the distance.

“Let’s get warmed up,” Robert said as he grabbed Aaron’s hand, pulling him towards the parks exit to hail a cab. A cab back to his place, because he definitely wasn’t ready to let go of Aaron just yet.     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link to Aaron's outfit for the date: [x](https://www.menz-fashion.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/c7ae19e89bbf0b4be068c8712e65e673-mens-fasion-fashion-mens.jpg)
> 
> Robert's is just his pink shirt, with a navy tie and the long coat he wore during the abuse trial. 
> 
> As always comments and kudos make my writers heart soar and you can find me over on tumblr at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took quite long again, but hey at least it wasn't a full month again :P And it's like a third longer than usual, so there's that :) 
> 
> So yeah I hope you all enjoy this chapter :D

He wakes up in an unfamiliar room (he hadn’t exactly been paying attention to his surroundings last night), a closet with high gloss doors lines the wall to his left and light is filtering in through the large window on the right. There’s a smaller cabinet sat opposite the bed that displays a number of trophies Robert must have won over the years and a suit jacket is slung over a chair in the corner of the room.

Most importantly though, there’s a warm wetness surrounding his cock that leaves him gasping for air the minute he wakes up. A mop of blond hair peeking out from the bedsheets is all he can see of Robert. Robert’s mouth tightening around him is the only indication that he knows Aaron is awake, as Robert seems determined to continue his ministrations.

Aaron lets his head fall back onto the fluffy pillow with a groan. His hips are trying to lift involuntarily, but Robert has a firm hand placed on his stomach. It feels like all of his blood and focus has been diverged towards his cock as all his brain seems to be able to come up with is groans of how good it feels.

Robert laps up the pre-cum from his slit as he drags his mouth up to the tip of his cock slowly, his tongue swirling around his head in determined drags that make Aaron’s toes curl and his hips struggle against Robert’s hold. He’s not gonna last. He has no idea how long Robert had been working him over before he woke up, but he’d felt ready to burst from the start.

He manages to groan out a warning to Robert, but the other man’s lips just suck around his cock tighter and then he’s gone. His toes curl up tighter, his fingers twist into the bedsheets and a strangled moan leaves his lips as he feels Robert swallow around him as his cum spurts into his eagerly waiting mouth. One of his arms is crossed over his forehead and he’s gasping in quick breaths as he rides his high, Robert’s mouth working him over until the last drop.

“Morning,” Robert grinned with a press of his lips against Aaron’s still slightly quivering thigh.

“Fuck.” Is all that Aaron manages to get out in response, eyes darting over to the lines across the ceiling created by the sun shining through Robert’s window.

He’s still staring up at the ceiling, his eyes following the lines as they move around, when Robert’s beaming face eclipses in front of his face. The smile is still on Robert’s face as he leans in to press a kiss to his lips. The mix of his own morning breath and the taste of his cum  still in Robert’s mouth make him scrunch up his nose in disgust.

He breaks the kiss, a determined look on his face as he sits up to push Robert down onto the bed instead. Robert’s eyebrows move in a complicated way, going from confused to accompanying the smirk on his lips as he realises what Aaron’s up to.

He presses a trail of kisses down Robert’s chest, as his fingers hook underneath the waistband of his boxers pulling them down further with each kiss. The head of Robert’s cock is flushed red and glistening with pre-cum by the time he makes his way down to it. With one last look up to Robert’s flushed face he wraps his lips around him, determined to return the favour.  

 

\---

 

“What was that about not putting out on the first date, huh?” Adam said in lieu of a greeting as he walked into the locker room later that morning. He tries not to look too conspicuous as he shrugs off last night’s clothes, he never wore such smart clothes into work but he hadn’t had the time to stop at his and Adam’s place on his way to work after Robert’s surprise wake up. Robert dragging the both of them into the shower and spending more time jerking him off then cleaning up, had only further delayed them.

“Shut up,” he hissed out as he pulls a loose tank top over his head, before covering it with a sweater to keep his body warm. They all wore a ridiculous amount of layers at the beginning of morning class to keep their bodies warm, shedding layer after layer as they warmed up.

Shedding layers of clothes made him think back to last night. Clothes had come off as soon as the door had fallen shut behind them. Aaron had pulled Robert in by his tie, pressed his lips against Robert’s waiting ones and together they had stumbled their way towards Robert’s bedroom. They had tried to take things slow, but neither of them had been able to stop themselves from tugging off the other’s clothes, the pile of clothes on the floor growing rapidly.

He had finally gotten to see all of Robert, his lean body on full display as Robert had let himself fall onto the bed with a bounce, hand reaching out for Aaron to join him. Aaron had followed along eagerly and before long Robert had pushed him down onto the bed, splitting him open on his long fingers. The memory of those fingers brushing over his prostate sends a shiver down his spine. The echoes of Robert’s moan as he’d pressed into him ringing in his ears.  

“Oh, so you did come home then? Only your bed didn’t look slept in this morning,” Adam  continued to tease him, shocking him out of his daydream like a bucket of cold water.

“Adam!” Aaron groaned just as the door to the locker room opened up again and in walked Robert, dressed in appropriate attire because he wasn’t the one doing the walk of shame this morning. He’s wearing a pair of fitted charcoal joggers, a plain white t-shirt with a dark red half zipped up hoodie covering it. It was a simple outfit but Robert still looked incredible in it. Their eyes meet as Robert walks towards his own locker, a smirk playing on Robert’s lips as he catches the way Aaron is biting at his bottom lip.

“Had fun last night?” Adam grinned at Robert, his best friend was apparently determined to make Aaron suffer.

“I can’t complain,” Robert said with a smug look, his eyes lingering on an ever so faint mark on the dip on Aaron’s neck.

Aaron turned back to his locker as he felt his face flush at Robert’s words and lingering look. He still felt Robert’s eyes on him as he shoved down his jeans, cursing internally as he realised he’d have to change into a dance belt here instead of home as he obviously hadn’t been wearing one for his date last night. He’d been wearing them for years, but he had more than once cursed their existence and apparently today was one of those days. Robert had obviously seen him naked now, but there was a difference in being naked with someone whilst having sex and being in a smelly locker room tucking your bits into the unflattering fabric. Sighing he looked over his shoulder, saw that Robert had turned around to grab some of his own gear from his locker and then quickly changed into the rest of his gear.    

 

\---

 

Morning class passed in a blur of stretches and movements, his body warming up slowly, ready for another day full of rehearsals. He quickly inhaled an energy bar- he hadn’t had enough time for more than a protein shake this morning-  before heading to a different dance studio to start his next rehearsal.

As he’s heading down the heated corridor he hears someone walk up to him and glances up to find Aaron falling into step with him. “You alright?” He asked, Aaron had looked a bit uncomfortable in the locker room this morning and he didn’t want Aaron to think he was gonna try and pull away again.

“Yeah fine.”

“Only you seemed a bit off earlier?”

“’m fine, Adam was just winding me up about not coming home last night, being a prat like usual,” Aaron said with a shake of his head.

“He’s not giving you too much grief about that right?”

“No, course not. Just mates being mates right. Anyway he’s been going on about us getting our shit together for ages now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, said I was doing his head in an all.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Huh?”

“Well I guess I was the reason for that right? With me pulling away all the time.”

“I guess.”

“I’m not going to do that anymore.” Aaron sent him an uncertain look at that. “Promise. I mean last night was good right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, last night was great Robert,” Aaron agreed with a bright grin, calming down the rapid beat of Robert’s heart. He really didn’t want to mess this up, already too gone for Aaron.

“Come on, let’s see what stuff we fucked up in the show on Saturday,” Robert laughed as they entered the dance studio, seeing George’s notebook scribbled full with stuff to work on already laying open on his chair.   

 

\---

 

“Can we, can we just slow down for a bit?” Robert said, breaking their kiss letting his head fall back onto the pillow underneath him.

“Yeah, of course. What’s wrong?” Aaron asked, biting at his lip with a worried look on his face. They’d been making out on Robert’s bed, one of the perks of Robert having an apartment to himself was the lack of roommates and risk of getting caught by them. Aaron wondered what was up, Robert had seemed to be enjoying himself, but now he was looking at Aaron with a conflicted look on his face. It wasn’t a look he was used to seeing on the other man’s face, the man who usually had an air of confidence radiating off of him.

“Nothing,” Robert tried to deflect, but Aaron wouldn’t let him, knew Robert wouldn’t have stopped them for no reason.

“Robert, come on don’t give me that. Do you want to stop? It’s alright if you do…” Aaron trailed of as Robert hastily tried to stop him.

“No, no. It’s just… I-, I’ve never done this before, not like this.” Robert said gesturing vaguely between them.  

“What do you mean, you haven’t? We did, just the other day.” Aaron said with a confused chuckle. Robert hadn’t stopped him when they had sex after their first date and he had said it wasn’t the first time he had been with men after their first kiss. Had he just never done more than kiss another man? Then why hadn’t he said something the other day?

“I know, just… not like this,” Robert mumbled, pointing at how he had been lying underneath Aaron.

“You mean you’ve never bottomed before?” He saw the other man cringe slightly at the direct wording.

“No,” Robert whispered, an involuntary blush creeping up his face, as he tried to move away from Aaron. With a gentle hand on his arm Aaron kept him from hiding away from him.

“Hey, that’s alright. No need to be embarrassed, do you want me to instead? Like last time?” Aaron suggested, knowing the first time bottoming could be a lot and if Robert wasn’t ready for that, that was okay.

“I want to,” Robert mumbled again, running a frustrated hand over his face, clearly warring with himself.

“Okay, but not today.” Aaron said determined, holding a hand up as Robert started to protest. “You’re way too tense. If I’m gonna be your first, I want it to be good and if you’re this tense just thinking about it, it won’t be good.”

Robert sighed, staring up at the ceiling a frown still on his face. Aaron leaned over, smoothing out the frown with his thumb and pressing a quick peck against Robert’s lips. Sitting up on the bed he reached for his phone, finding the number for the pizza place around the corner that he kept in his phone for the occasional cheat day.

“What are you doing?”

“Ordering us a pizza.”

“What?”

“Come on go grab one of your nerdy superhero DVDs and some beers, we’ll have a movie night instead,” Aaron smiled encouragingly. He didn’t want Robert to feel awkward after his confession, but he meant what he had said about wanting to make sure Robert was ready for it. So a movie night instead would be perfect.

 

\---

 

They were wrapped up in the softest blanket he owned, the empty pizza box lay on his coffee table and they were halfway through the first Iron Man movie. Tony Stark had just escaped the Ten Rings and as the noise of explosions died down Robert pressed his face into Aaron’s chest, “This is nice.”

“Hmm, movie is pretty shit though.”

Robert gasped in a shocked breath, “You didn’t just say that!”

 

\---     

 

They’re at the pub where him and Adam had seen Robert before. It’s not Adam he’s playing pool with though. Robert is chalking up his cue, looking way too smug as he deliberately takes his time. He’s wearing a light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a pair of jeans that hug his arse perfectly and the leather jacket he had worn lays abandoned in their booth.

He himself is wearing a grey Henley, paired with dark grey – almost black- jeans and his comfy leather boots. They’re on their second date, technically. He’d been over at Robert’s a few times during the week, but tonight was the first night they could actually go out again as it was their day off from work. He’d asked Robert on Friday as they had been having their lunch at one of Robert’s favourite cafés. He’d agreed easily, so here they were on Sunday about to play a game of pool.

“Are we gonna play a game or are you going to keep fondling that cue all night?”

“Just making sure it’s taken proper care off,” Robert smirked back at him before bending down to make the break, scattering the balls across the table.

He’d managed to sink one of the uneven numbers and got ready to take the next shot, deliberately bending down slowly, showing off his arse and sending him a playful smirk. They were doing this again then.

Two could play at this game though, so when Robert missed his next shot Aaron grabbed hold of his own cue, quirking his eyebrow at Robert as he took his time chalking it up. He bend down over the table, running the cue between the circle of his fingers slowly, glancing up at Robert as he bit his lower lip in ‘concentration’ and took the shot. He missed. Robert lifted his right eyebrow. “You know they’re supposed to go in right.”

“Well show me how it’s done then?” he quipped back.

Robert sunk another two balls before it was Aaron’s turn again. He’d gotten plenty of eyefuls of Robert’s backside as Robert had taken his time finding the right position. And the image of Robert half lying on the table, looking up from under his eyelashes was still playing before Aaron’s eyes as he took his next shot. And missed. Again.

“Maybe I should give you a more hands on lesson,” Robert chuckled, reaching for Aaron’s waist, trying to manoeuvre him in the right position.

“Shove off,” Aaron laughed, pushing Robert’s roaming hands away from him. He twisted around in Robert’s embrace, leaning against the pool table as he came face to face with Robert’s beaming face. Before he knew it Robert had pressed a kiss against his lips, causing a smile to tug up on them.

“I’m just trying to help,” Robert said with a shrug, eyes sparkling in delight.

“If you could stop shoving your arse in my face, I’d have gotten both of those shots.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Robert said innocently, grabbing his cue again to take his next shot.

“What are you doing now then.” Robert had once again bend down right in front of Aaron, even though there was an easier shot on the other end of the pool table.   

“Taking my shot, what does it look like?”

“Looks like your arse in my face again.”

“I’m sure you like that visual just fine,” Robert quipped back, sending a playful look over his shoulder before hitting the cue ball. He somehow managed to sink two balls at once and was now only 3 balls away from winning and he was happy to let Aaron know that fact.

“Winner gets the next round?”

“Of course you’d say that as you’ve pretty much won already. You can’t say that in the middle of a game!” Aaron whined.

“What? You admitting defeat already Dingle?”

“Never!” 

 

 ---

 

He’d lost, of course he had lost. There had been no way he had been able to catch up to Robert, especially when the other man hadn’t stopped using his distracting tactics.

“You two make a cute couple.” The lady at the bar smiled at him with a nod at where Robert was setting up for another game of pool. The way Robert is bent over the pool table as he centres the balls momentarily distracts Aaron from replying.

“Uh… thanks,” he replied as he managed to drag his eyes away from Robert’s backside. He quickly grabbed the two bottles of beer she placed in front of him and makes his way back over to Robert.

“Barmaid just called us a cute couple. Us, cute?” People had called him a lot of things, but cute generally wasn’t one of them.

“Couple now are we?” Robert replied cheekily.

“Uhh, I mean if you want to…” Aaron trailed off. It was only their second actual date, but why wait making it official when he knew he wanted them to be.

The grin on Robert’s face turned serious as Aaron fumbled over his words, eyes growing wide for a second. He clearly hadn’t expected that yet.

“Are we really having this conversation in the middle of a crowded pub?”

“Good a place as any right?” Aaron shrugged. A group of men coming up to them to ask them if they were still gonna play momentarily drew his attention away from his and Robert’s conversation. He waved at them vaguely, letting them know they could go ahead.

“I guess,” Robert said before pulling him back to the booth they had sat at earlier, apparently this conversation needed to be had sitting down. That caused Aaron to worry. Did Robert not want them to be a couple? He’d said he wasn’t going to pull away from him again after their first date. Was he regretting it now? Now that Aaron wanted to make it official.

“You don’t want to then?” Aaron murmured, trying to hide his disappointment.

“No, course I do. You don’t think it’s too soon though?” Robert was playing with one of the beer mats on the table now, unsure eyes looking back at him.

“Why wait if it’s what we both want?”

“I don’t want to mess this up.”

“We won’t.”

“How do you know that?”

“I mean we probably will, but we’ll work through it, fight for this. Us.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, I’ll be your boyfriend,” Robert grinned at him, smile lighting up his face and Aaron couldn’t help but send him back a matching smile.

“Well then _boyfriend_ shall we head back to your place?”      

 

\---

 

It isn’t all that late when they leave the pub and the London streets are still bustling with people as they walk towards his apartment. It doesn’t take them long to get there, both giddy with the feeling of making things official and wanting to celebrate that fact.

The door clicked shut behind them and then Aaron is leaning against it with a bright smile to match his own. And Robert can’t help but stare at him, take him in. The way he’s slightly slouched against the door, posture nowhere near his perfect ballet stance. The stubble that is getting longer in need of a trim before their next performance, but looking so deliciously scruffy. He can already feel it against his skin, leaving trails of red marks behind.

The way his smile softens as Robert keeps on wordlessly looking at him, eyes still bright as they flicker over his own face. How his fingers twist into the sleeves of the grey jumper that peeks out from underneath his red jacket.

He reaches out a hand, waits for Aaron to grab hold of it before pulling him close. He presses a tender kiss at the corner of Aaron’s mouth, before pulling him further into the apartment. Pulling him into his bedroom. He notices the way Aaron’s lips quirk up in a knowing smile, lust starting to swirl in his eyes.

He stops at the foot of his bed and as his lips find Aaron’s again, his fingers find the zipper of Aaron’s jacket. Slowly he pulled it down, slipped his hands underneath the shoulders of the jacket and pushed it off of the other man’s shoulders. And before the fabric has even hit the ground his hands have found their way underneath the grey jumper, squeezing at Aaron’s waist as he presses into the kiss a little harder. The whimper that leaves Aaron’s mouth has him pulling back, eyes roaming Aaron’s face in wonderment and then he’s grabbing at the bottom of the jumper and pulling it over Aaron’s head.

“Want you,” he said determined, knowing Aaron will get what he’s saying.

“Yeah? You sure?”

He nodded, pressing in close to Aaron again, telling him he’s sure about this. Sure about doing this with Aaron. Doing this with his boyfriend.

Slowly more of their clothes fell to the floor. This bit was easy, they’d done this before. Robert couldn’t help the way nerves still settled in his stomach though, how his fingers twisted into the sheets as he lay down onto the bed. He hated how the nerves twisted into his stomach, for god’s sake he was a nearly 32 year old man, yet he still felt like a fumbling teenager about to lose his virginity.  

Somehow Aaron noticed how nervous he was and he quickly set about distracting him. His lips were leaving a trail of kisses up his chest, beard scratching at his skin, until they reached his own. Aaron’s soft lips pressed against his hard, tongue darting out almost immediately and with a gasp his mouth fell open in response. Aaron managed to kiss him breathless within seconds, all his focus drawn to the way those lips felt against him. He could feel how his body was catching up, nerves a far-away memory now.

He sighed out in pleasure as Aaron’s body lowered on top of him, his cock rubbing against Aaron’s stomach as he felt the other man’s own hard cock settle against his hip. And as Aaron continued to kiss him, his hips started to thrust up shallowly, trying to find more friction against Aaron’s skin. Soon they were full on making out, rutting against each other with harsh gasps.

“Now,” Robert gasped out as the friction almost became too much.

Aaron sent him a considering look, apparently finding what he wanted, because the next moment he was opening up Robert’s bedside table and finding the lube and condoms he knew were there.

A gentle hand pushed at his legs, pushing them up and opening them wider. His leg jerked up as he felt Aaron’s hands settle on his arse, a dry thumb running over his hole. It felt good though so he tried to press back against the digit, couldn’t stop the whimper that left his lips as he found that it was already gone.

The click of the bottle of lube being opened rang through the room loudly. His eyes fell onto the item in Aaron’s hands and with a last nod in answer to Aaron’s unasked question, the other man covered his fingers in the liquid.

The lube felt colder than he had imaged as Aaron’s finger rubbed against his hole in circles, before slowly pushing it in. “Breathe,” Aaron whispered as his body tensed at the intrusion. Aaron’s beard scratched at his inner thigh as he pressed soft kisses against his skin, distracting him from the slightly uncomfortable feeling. Slowly though, he dragged his finger out again, before pressing it back in just as slowly.

The first finger didn’t take long to get used to and soon he was asking Aaron for another. This time the stretch was more uncomfortable, a hiss leaving his lips as a burning ache settled in. Aaron worked him through it slowly though, scissoring his fingers a little more each time he dragged his fingers out. He felt him searching for his prostate, his fingers pushing in at a new angle each time until he found it. The sensation was indescribable. It felt like every nerve-ending was firing at once, sending a shiver up his spine and a tingle all the way to his fingertips.

“That’s it,” Aaron smiled down at him, “Feel good?”

“Fuck.” Was all that Robert could get out as Aaron pressed against his prostate once more with a chuckle.

A third finger followed, the stretch burning a little less now that Aaron finding his prostate could distract him from it. It however was also getting him way too close to coming already, so with a hitched breath he stilled Aaron’s hand. “Too close.”

After Robert had calmed down a bit Aaron spoke up, “Want another?”

“No. Just want you.”

Aaron nodded, dragging his fingers out slowly. Robert wasn’t prepared for the feeling of emptiness that was left after Aaron’s fingers left him, his hole clenching around nothing all of a sudden.

He didn’t have to wait long though as he heard the crinkle of the condom being opened up, the lube clicking open again and then the cold pressure of Aaron’s cock against him.

“You good?”

“Yeah, come on.”

And then slowly Aaron pressed into him, the stretch wider than his fingers had been. His breath left him all at once as Aaron bottomed out, his body clenching around him. “Fuck, that’s a lot.”

“I know. Tell me when you’re ready,” Aaron whispered as he ran a thumb over his bottom lip to loosen it from the grip of his teeth, before leaning down and pressing a kiss at it instead.

He waited until the burn of the stretch had dissipated and he felt himself relax around Aaron, before nodding his assent to his boyfriend. Slowly Aaron pulled back, the drag leaving him gasping. Aaron started a slow rhythm then, pressing in slow and pulling back out just as slow.    

“Aaron, I’m not going to break,” he said as Aaron continued his slow and gentle rhythm.

“I just want to make this good for you.”

“It is, but can you please go faster now,” Robert grinned, grateful for the laugh that bursts from Aaron’s lips. With a quick kiss to Robert’s lips he picked up the pace, his hips snapping forward a bit faster on each thrust. The feeling of Aaron thrusting into him already left him gasping for air, but then he found his prostate and was full on moaning.

A string of expletives left his lips as Aaron continued to thrust into him at the same angle, hitting his prostate each time. “Fuck Aaron, so good. So good, so good!”

The sound of Aaron’s groan as he clenched around him send a thrill down his spine and all too soon he felt his orgasm building up inside of him. Sweat was running down his chest as their bodies continued to press together and his fingers were twisted into the sheets underneath him. He managed to breath out a ‘close’ and he felt Aaron’s broad hand wrap around him, pulling at his cock in time with his thrusts. The combination of the friction against his flushed cock and the press against his prostate had him coming within seconds. A shout falling from his lips as he fell over the edge, cum spurting out of him in white ropes.

Somehow Aaron’s thrusts sped up even more and with a few more hard thrusts he was coming as well. A loud grunt leaving him as his hips thrust into him erratically as his orgasm ran through his body.          

“Fuck,” Aaron breathed out, pressing his drenched forehead against the hollow of Robert’s neck, before pressing a kiss there. He stayed inside of Robert for a while, Robert clenching around him involuntarily, until his cock started to soften. If the loss of Aaron’s fingers had been a lot, the feeling of emptiness as Aaron pulled out of him now as indescribable. He felt his hole flutter as it tried to clench around nothing and Aaron’s thumb ran over it soothingly.

The sweat was cooling on his flushed body whilst Aaron disposed of the condom. His breathing returning to normal as the bed bounced a little when Aaron fell back onto it.

“You okay,” he asked, “you’ve gone all quiet on me.” A worried frown creeping up on his face. He had gone quiet, but he was just riding out his high. Still feeling his body twitch from the sensation, a dull ache settling in his arse.  

“I’m great. God that was incredible. We’re definitely doing that again,” he grinned at Aaron, sitting up so he could kiss the frown from Aaron’s face.

“Definitely,” Aaron smiled back at him. Pulling the covers up and over them as a shiver ran through Robert’s body. Draping an arm over Robert’s waist as he snuggled up behind him, nose pressed against the back of his neck. And with Aaron’s arms wrapped around him he drifted off to sleep.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope you enjoyed the smutfest this chapter kind of turned into (and that the last part wasn't too ooc?), but hey that's the best way to celebrate officially being boyfriends right? :P
> 
> As always kudos/comments make my writer's heart soar.  
> And you can find me over at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com) on tumblr


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it has been so long since my last update! I got a full time job and that really cut down the hours I've had to write this (and the content on the show hasn't been very inspiring either, oops). I thought I was still far off from a new update, but when I looked at what I'd already written I realised I've had the next chapter ready to go for a long while now. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's a bit of a rollercoaster :O

**Chapter 12:**

Their last dance rehearsal of the day had ended 15 minutes ago, the other dancers leaving the dance studio quickly, heading home to have dinner and spend some time with family before the evening performance. They’re in a dance studio in the far corner of the opera house, one that’s barely used but apparently new barres were being installed in the dance studio they usually used for company rehearsals.

Robert had started to go and grab his own bag from the corner of the room, ready to follow their colleagues when Aaron had grabbed his hand and stopped him. A smirk had been playing on his lips as they watch the last corps dancers leave the studio. Robert had grinned at him, he recognised that look.

“What are you doing?” He asked his boyfriend, the word still new, Aaron was his boyfriend now. He couldn’t help the way the grin on his face grew even bigger at the thought. His hands found their way to Aaron’s waist as he waited for him to answer.

“Hmm, thought we could ‘cool down’ some more,” Aaron grinned, quirking his eyebrow suggestively as his eyes flicked down to Robert’s lips.

“Is that so? Any particular exercise you had in mind?”

Instead of answering Aaron leaned in and pressed his lips against Rob’s hard, apparently done with teasing. A muffled moan escaped Robert’s lips as Aaron started to push them to the mirrored wall behind them, his hands gripping at Aaron’s shoulders to keep from falling over. 

He let out a disgruntled groan as his back hit the barre in front of the wall uncomfortably. But as soon as the noise had left his lips he felt Aaron’s hands slip underneath his loose shorts grabbing at his arse, gripping him tightly and lifting him up to the sit on the barre. His new position only made the height difference between them more exaggerated and Aaron had to fully raise up on his toes to keep their lips connected.

Aaron’s lips left his and made their way down to his neck, biting at his pulse lightly, stubble scratching at his sensitive skin. He wrapped his legs around Aaron’s waist, pulling him in closer, letting his head drop back against the wall to give the other man more access. He was trying his hardest to keep down his moans, painfully aware that they weren’t truly alone, but Aaron was finding all the spots that made him weak. His tongue dipping into the dip between his clavicles, licking up the sweat gathered there, before making its way back up to his jaw and ear, nibbling at his earlobe. “Want ya,” he whispered into his ear.

As Aaron pressed into him again he could feel that they were both hard, dance belt starting to make things very uncomfortable. He grabbed at his boyfriend’s face and pressed their lips back together hard, tongue twisting again Aaron’s. Before he could deepen the kiss however Aaron pulled back, tongue flicking against his teasingly. “Want ya, right here,” he said, voice low. He felt hands gripping at his arse again as Aaron pulled him down from the barre, twisting him around instead.

“God, look at ya,” Aaron groaned right into his ear as they looked at each other in the mirror. Aaron’s lips found his neck again, eyes still fixed on Robert’s through the mirror as he sucked right at the base of it. And Robert couldn’t wait anymore, hands shoving down his own shorts and finally ridding himself of uncomfortable constraint of his dance belt.

“Come on Aaron,” he moaned, pushing his arse back into Aaron’s crotch.

“Don’t have any lube here, want me to use my mouth instead?”

“Fuck, Aaron, just do it.”

And with a final kiss to his shoulder Aaron pressed his hand against his back to get him to lean on the barre, before sinking to his knees. His hands ran up the inside of his thighs, one of them massaging his balls for a second. And then hands were gripping at his arse cheeks, pulling them apart as thumbs brushed against his opening. A shiver ran down his spine as he felt Aaron’s breath on his arse, as the digits teased at him. His grip on the barre tightened and he had to bite his lip hard to keep himself from shouting out, as he finally felt his tongue flick out over his hole.

Aaron’s stubbled beard scratched at his arse cheeks as he felt his tongue lick over his entrance in long stripes, before he pressed open mouthed kisses right where he needed it. As his tongue swirled around him he felt Aaron’s thumb press at his hole, opening him up for his tongue. His tongue was a hard yet soft pressure as he pointed it, pushing it at his hole. Robert felt his knees go weak as Aaron’s tongue breached the ringed muscle, grateful for the barre he was leaning against. His eyes flicked up to the mirror in front of him, seeing his own wrecked face as Aaron worked his hole like a pro, before looking down and seeing Aaron’s hand wrapped around his own cock reflected in the mirror. The image only made him push back against Aaron’s tongue more, he wanted Aaron inside of him already.

“Aaron, please.”

“Please what?” Aaron said taking a moment to catch his breath, leaning his cheek against Robert’s left arse cheek, catching his gaze in the mirror. Robert just pushed his arse back against Aaron, wanting his boyfriend to get on with it. “Please what, Robert?” Aaron asked again, a smug smile was playing on his lips.

“Fuck, just gimme your fingers already!” They were really taking a risk drawing this out for so long, so Robert was glad Aaron seemed to realise this as well as he sucked on his own fingers, getting them wet before  pressing them against Robert’s entrance. “Yes,” he sighed as the first digit slid into him easily after Aaron’s tongue had already opened him up a bit.

Even though he knew they should be taking it slow with the lack of lube Robert soon found himself begging for more. He rested his head on his arms as he adjusted to the second finger inside of him, scissoring him open and before he even had to ask for it a third finger was pressing in beside it.

“That feel good?” Robert lifted his head from the barre and just nodded as he found Aaron’s eyes trained on his in the mirror again. “Want more?”

“Please.”

And then Aaron leaned down again, his tongue licking over his gaping hole, getting him wet again, before he spit into his own hand, wrapping it around his own cock getting that wet as well. And then finally he felt the head of his cock press against him, slowly sinking inside. It was a lot, feeling Aaron’s cock inch in slowly, opening him up until he was bottomed out.

“Just gimme a sec,” he groaned out, one hand reaching out to hold Aaron’s hips still. He was still new to bottoming and foregoing lube probably wasn’t their brightest idea, but he had wanted it too much. It didn’t take too long to get used to the fullness inside of him, the edge of pain soon turning into pleasure as he released his hold on Aaron’s hip and told him to go. Aaron keeps his thrusts slow at first, giving him time to get used to it, but as Robert starts to push back against him his thrust start to quicken.

They’re trying to keep quiet, they really are, but they’re in front of a floor to ceiling mirror and can see everything and they can’t help themselves. Robert is still bend over the barre, his breath fogging up the mirror in front of him as moans escape his lips. His eyes flick up to where he can see Aaron looking down at him, a focussed look on his face that’s now drenched in sweat again. Can feel the grip Aaron has on his arse, pulling his cheeks apart to look down at where his cock is disappearing inside of him.

His own cock is leaking with pre-come as Aaron keeps hitting his prostate, making his whole body spark. “So close,” he manages to get out between moans.

Aaron’s eyes flick back to the mirror, catching Robert’s gaze on him, seeing how gone he really is. His grip on Robert’s arse disappears as one of his hands finds its way to his sweat soaked hair, gripping it and pulling him back up to his chest. The other arm wraps around his waist as he whispers into Robert’s ear. “Look at ya, look at us, god we look good don’t we.”

And Robert just groans as the hand in his hair loosens its grip and instead reaches down to wrap around his cock. And the whimper that leaves his mouth would be embarrassing, but Robert just needs, he’s so close. His head lolls back against Aaron’s shoulder, he’s grateful for the arm around his waist because his knees are threatening to give out as Aaron’s hand twists around his cock.

“You gonna come for me? Come all over that mirror?” Aaron huffs into his ear as he thrusts into him hard, his hand turning into a blur around Robert’s cock. And that’s all it takes to push him over the edge. He forced his eyes to stay open, look at himself coming apart, his mouth falling open in a silent scream as his come splatters against the mirror and over Aaron’s hand. He sees Aaron’s blissed out face as he feels him tighten around his cock. Aaron is not far behind him, a last few uncoordinated thrusts, his face scrunching up, his teeth biting down hard on his lip to keep the groan quiet as he comes inside of Robert.

 

\---

 

The next morning they’re back in their usual dance studio, new barres installed all around the room. And Robert is grateful for it, because he’s not sure he would’ve been able to focus on the ballet master’s instructions knowing what him and Aaron had done in the dance studio the day before.

Morning class passes by as normal, muscles warming up slowly, body and mind waking up as the ballet master works them through their paces until sweat is dripping down his nose.

He says it so casually. They’re walking down the hallway towards the locker rooms when Aaron speaks up, “It’s my mum’s birthday this weekend.”

“Oh really, that’s nice. You doing anything special?”

“They’re doing some do in the pub like usual, I’m going back to Emmerdale on Sunday. You should come along!”

He says it so casually, but just those few words have Robert stuck to one spot. His instant reaction is NO! But his mind is mulling over a million things, over everything that place means to him and over what ifs. What if he goes back there. Goes back there with Aaron. What would people think? Would people even think anything about him, he’s not been back there in so long. He’s been back for all of 2 days in 17 years, why would he go back now. Why is he even thinking about agreeing with Aaron? He’s never once gone back since that day no matter how much his sister had begged him.

He doesn’t realise how long he’s been standing in the same spot until he feels Aaron shake him softly, his worried face coming into focus slowly. He hadn’t realised his breathing had gone weird, but Aaron is telling him to breathe with him so it must have. Slowly his breathing gets back to normal, the world around him becoming less blurry with each gasp of breath.

“Hey, you back with me?” Aaron asked softly, voice full of concern.

“Yeah,” he sighed out. 

“What happened?”

“Nothing, let’s go to the next class.” He tries to shrug off, but his words fall flat, he knows Aaron will never let this drop. Not after the stunt he just pulled. He’s gonna have to tell him, tell him everything, because if he’s learned anything about Aaron in the last couple of months it’s that he doesn’t just let something drop if it’s something important.

“Robert, don’t give me that. You don’t just have a panic attack in the middle of the day for no reason. Was it something I said? Please just let me help.”

“Okay, just… not here,” Robert said as he started making his way over to where he knows a conference room is that’s empty 99% of the time, like today. He sits down heavily in one of the chairs lined around the table.

“Talk to me Robert.”

“Okay, uhm I don’t really know where to start, this might take a while.” And Aaron just nods, waits for him to get it off his chest, whatever ‘it’ is.

“Okay, so my dad, he never wanted me to do ballet. He tried to get me into football, took a ball nearly beheading me to finally make him see sense and only because my mum refused to let me get back. Anyway, my mum finally convinced him to let me join a ballet class. I’d been dancing all my life and no amount of forcing me to play other sports was gonna stop me dancing.”

“So in the end I got into the Royal Ballet School, but not even that impressed him. He never came along when my mum drove me to London, he never let me dance when I came home during holidays. I just, I started to hate coming back home. I hated going back home even though my mum and sister where there. But my dad always loved my brother more, my brother who was gonna take over the farm, my brother who wasn’t into such a girlie thing as ballet, who was actually going to make something of his life.”

“The only reason I still came home was to see my mum, she had always supported me. Drove me to classes, to London for auditions and who made sure I still got to practice at home even though my dad forbade it. That was until it was my dad that came to London, because… because she had died and couldn’t come and pick me up,” he has to take a shaking breath, emotions running wild. He slowly lifts his head and finds Aaron’s eyes on him, wide and red with unshed tears.

“We got back home and it was just him telling me this was the end of this silly fantasy I had. I was 14 and I’d just spent 3 years in the most prestige ballet school in the UK and still he couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that this wasn’t just a silly fantasy. That was the first thing he said, my mum had just died and all he could talk about was how I wouldn’t be allowed to do ballet anymore.”

“I’m so sorry,” Aaron whispered.

Robert just shakes his head, it’s not his fault. He mulls over the rest of the story inside his head. If he’s gonna tell Aaron, he’s going to tell him everything.      

“My mum died in November, so I stayed home until Christmas break was over and I hated every minute of it. Well until Michael.”

“Michael?”

“He came to help out on the farm. My dad had been busy planning a funeral and trying to take care of three kids, so he hired a farmhand. He was one maybe two years older than me.”

“And you liked him?”

Robert nods. “He made me laugh again. I actually did farm work just to spend time with him. I didn’t know what I was feeling, just that I couldn’t wait for him to show up every morning.”

“One day we’d been working out in the cold all day, mending fences and clearing out stalls. We’d come inside to warm up, both of us clutching our cups of hot chocolate as I’d told him all about the trophies I’d won that year. We’d gone up to my room so I could show them to him and… everything just went so fast. One second I’d been the happiest I had been in ages as he kissed me back and the next I was crying out in pain as my dad had shoved me off of my bed.”

“He sacked Michael, leathered me and just left me there. And I just ran, hurt and confused and then I came home to a packed suitcase. He kicked me out because I had kissed a boy. I had just lost my mum and he went and kicked me out of the last bit of family I had left because I’d had the audacity to kiss a boy.”

He swallowed hard, unable to stop the tears from rolling down his face now. He wipes at his face roughly and takes a shaking breath and continues, knows that if he looks up at Aaron now he won’t be able to stop crying.

“I didn’t go back to Emmerdale for seven years. I’d just joined the Royal Ballet when my dad died. I don’t know why I went back, it’s not like he’d have wanted me at his funeral, but I just had to finally close that chapter. I watched from afar, thought I could sneak in and out unnoticed, but it wasn’t that easy. Andy, my brother, he found me, convinced me to come back to the pub for the wake, if only to say hi to my sister.”

“And I’m glad he did, because I got my sister back, but I still haven’t gone back. In 17 years I’ve only been back for 2 days, so… so when you suggested coming along for you mum’s birthday I just panicked.”

“Hey, it’s okay. And I totally get it if you don’t want to come, but just think of it like this, he’s not here anymore but you’re still letting him control your life.”

“I’m not!”

“Really Robert?”

“I’m dating a guy aren’t I.”

“Yeah and I bet that didn’t take you years to come to terms with? Robert I had the best coming out experience, but I still struggled with it for a long time. I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for you, with that memory of your dad constantly pestering you.”

“It got easier once he’d died,” Robert shrugged, trying to make light of it.

“And it will get easier to go back to Emmerdale if you stop connecting it to him, if you stop letting him have this hold over you.”

“Not even Vic has been able to convince me to go back Aaron.”

“And I won’t make you, I would never, I just want you to do this for yourself. If right now isn’t the right time then that’s fine, but just don’t let him stop you from seeing your family forever.”

“I’ll think about it.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't make any promises, but I'm really gonna try and get a new chapter up quicker this time around. 
> 
> As always comments and kudos make my writers heart soar and you can find me over on tumblr at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way too long again, I'm so sorry. It's a bit on the shorter side, but I do actually have about 1000 words written for the next chapter and a clear direction I want to go for that chapter, so hopefully the wait won't be so long again.

He does think about, he thinks about it a lot. Aaron’s words ring through his head. About not letting his father control his life anymore. And he realises, realises how much of his life is still controlled by the man. He might have finally managed to shut up his dad’s voice inside his head when it comes to his sexuality or him doing ballet, but he’s still controlling a lot of his actions. Like how he’s stopped himself from going back to Emmerdale for years, no matter how many times his sister had begged him to. How hasn’t been back to his mother’s grave, because he’s always felt like he couldn’t go to hers without going to his.

So he decides to go to Chas’ birthday party, to go back to Emmerdale with Aaron there by his side. Aaron who knows and will make sure he’s okay whilst they’re there. Aaron who even after just a few months makes him feel so safe.

Aaron gives him such a happy smile when he tells him he’s decided to come along with him on his trip back to Emmerdale. It’s amazing and he feels a calm settle over him as his boyfriend presses a soft kiss against his forehead.

They’ve got a performance on Saturday, so they end up taking the first train Sunday morning. The train journey is long and he luckily manages to catch a few more winks of sleep, his head nestled into Aaron’s shoulder as they both let the rhythmic movement of the train lull them to sleep.

They’re in the back of a taxi from Hotten to Emmerdale now and the calm he had felt before is gone. His knee is bouncing up and down as he anxiously looks out at the green fields flashing by them. He feels Aaron’s hand settle on his leg, but his other leg just picks up where the other one left off and he’s wringing his hands and he feels too warm all of a sudden as they pass the ‘Welcome to Emmerdale’-sign.

He’s out of the taxi as soon as it stops in front of the Woolpack, gasping in breaths of fresh air like a starved man.

“Hey, it’s okay. Slow breaths, yeah,” he heard Aaron say softly, his hand finding Robert’s and Robert squeezes at it hard like it’s a lifeline. He takes in a few more shaky breaths and slowly his heart stops racing and the spring air is cooling the cold sweat that had broken out over his body.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he wipes a hand over his face. It comes back slightly damp as he realises there are tear tracks on his face, he hadn’t even realised he had been crying.

“It’s okay Robert. We don’t have to do this if it’s too much.”

“We’re already here, I can’t exactly back out anymore now.”

“’Course you can, we can get back in that taxi and go to Leeds for the day or back home. We don’t have to stay here.”

And Robert is shaking his head. He can’t believe he’s gotten so lucky, that he has Aaron. This man who’d go all the way back to London after travelling for hours and miss his mum’s birthday party, just because he couldn’t hack it. “No, no Aaron don’t be daft we came here for your mum’s birthday, so we’re going to see her. And I…I wanted to come back didn’t I, to finally stop him from controlling my life. He’s already done that for too long, but he can’t anymore, I’m not letting him.”

“Okay. Okay, but if it gets too much just tell me and we’ll leave yeah.”

He’s nodding, the calm settling back over him as he nods towards the pub, “Let’s go meet the family then, eh.”

“Ha, good luck… You’ll need it,” Aaron jokes, making the remaining tension disappear.

 

\---

 

“My babyyy!” he heard his mum call out to him as she quickly made her way from behind the bar to pull him into a tight hug.

“Mum, come on,” Aaron said trying to wriggle his way out of his mother’s embrace. He couldn’t escape before she had planted a big kiss onto his cheek and had wiped away the lipstick she’d left doing so.

“Oh shush you, I’ve not seen you in months,” Chas said before noticing the man standing next to her son. “And you must be the arrogant twat my son couldn’t stop complaining about.” A smirk playing on Chas’ lips as she saw Robert’s eyes widen at her words.

“Mum!”

“What?! You kept banging on about this arrogant twat you had to work with even though he apparently couldn’t give you the time of day.”

Aaron blushed as his mother reminded him of the words he’d used to describe Robert just a few weeks ago. “Yeah well, things are different now.”      

Aaron hesitated for a second as he tried to gauge Robert’s reaction to his mother’s words, but a smirk to match his mother’s had started to form on Robert’s face. It seemed Robert would be able to handle his mum.

“Anyway, mum this is Robert, my boyfriend,” he said emphasizing the last bit. “Robert, this is Chas, my mum.

 

\---

 

The party was in full swing now, beer flowing and the snack table halfway gone already. Robert had been able to fend off most of Aaron’s family’s scare tactics, only faltering slightly when it was Cain’s turn. His uncle not so subtly letting him know what would happen to him if he dared to hurt his nephew.          

And then she’s walking into the pub, her face flushed as she tries to quickly put on her chef’s hat, apologies flowing from her mouth rapidly.

“I’m sorry I’m late, the washing machine overflowed and my whole kitchen was flooded.”

“Victoria, it’s alright calm down, Marlon has sorted us a few bits in the meantime. Is your kitchen sorted now, or do you want one of us to have a look?”

“No, no, it’s fine now. I’ll just get cracking yeah,” she says before finally looking around the pub full of Dingle’s and one Sugden. She stops in her tracks as she notices her brother. “Robert?”

“Hi Vic,” Robert replied sheepishly.

“Robert what are you doing here?”

“Came with Aaron for Chas’ birthday,” Robert shrugged.

“But you never come back to Emmerdale. All those times I’ve asked over the years and you’ve never agreed to come back home. But you did for Aaron?”

“Vic, please it’s not like that. It’s complicated.”  

“Maybe we should take this to the back,” Aaron suggested as more and more people started to look over at the brother and sister. He send his boyfriend a grateful look as they rounded the bar and headed to the backroom of the pub. It seemed like all he had in this room were difficult conversations, today not being an exception.

His sister let herself fall onto the sofa heavily, a hurt and confused look still present on her face. “I just don’t get it Robert. I’ve been asking you to come back home for years and you’ve always refused and now, now Aaron asks once and you’re back here immediately?”

“It wasn’t that simple Vic, please don’t think I never came back because of you. Coming back here was anything but easy, you have to understand that. I mean, God I had a bloody panic attack just thinking about it.”

“And then another one just now when we got here,” Aaron added, running a soft hand over his back in comfort, from where he was sat next to him on one of the hard kitchen chairs.

“I didn’t know that,” Vic said, worry now joining the expressions running over her face. “But why Robert? What is so bad about Emmerdale that you have multiple panic attack over just coming back here. To the village you were born in?”

“It’s… I don’t really know where to start to be honest.”

“How about from the beginning,” Vic suggested voice soft as she encouraged him to help her understand.

“Okay well, uhm… how much do you remember about the time just after Mum had died?”

“Not much, I was only six back then, just that you were back home for a while and then all of a sudden you were gone and Dad said you weren’t coming back home anymore.”

“Yeah, I’m guessing Dad never really explained any of that did he?” His sister shook her head no, so he continued on. “Well just after Mum had died, Dad hired a farmhand to help us out on the farm while he was arranging the funeral and everything. His name was Michael.” He paused for a minute, thinking back to the first day Michael had shown up on the farm. His beaming smile and tousled brown hair drawing him in immediately. The young lad eager to start working and Robert nearly falling over himself in his haste to join him. He shook away the memory and found his sister looking at him expectantly.  

“Do you remember him?”

Vic shook her head once more. “No, I figured. No one but me probably does, he was only there for a few weeks. Anyway well Michael came to help out on the farm and I’d help him out. We’d work on the farm together all day, even though I hated farm work. You know how much I hated farm work right?” he said with a laugh.

“I just remember you just always wanted to dance. And you never stopped even when Dad made you help out on the farm,” Vic smiled back.  

“Yeah well, I actually did some work when Michael arrived, because I liked him… a lot. I just wanted to spend all my time with him and… well I had this massive crush on him,” he paused letting his sister take in what he had just said. He tried to see if she was putting the pieces together yet, but she still looked mostly puzzled.

“Do you remember the day I left? Or well the day before?”

“Vaguely. I mostly just remember you and Dad shouting a lot.”

“That day Michael and I had been working out in the field all day, fixing fences and stuff. We were freezing so we came inside to get warmed with some hot chocolate. He was the only person who would listen to me going on about ballet and never laughed at me for doing it. So I told him about the trophies I had won in competitions, but he wouldn’t believe me unless he saw them. So I dragged him up to my room and… well long story short, I kissed him, Dad caught us, sacked him, leathered me and then threw me out as well.” He said in a rush, the painful memory flashing behind his eyelids as he clenched his eyes shut and spouted the words at his little sister.

He took in a final deep breath and looked back up at his sister, seeing the shock on her face. Great, he had just ruined his sisters memory of their father. The room was ringing with silence all of a sudden and he felt his breathing get unsteady again for a second, before he felt Aaron’s hand squeeze at his shoulder, pulling him back.

“Vic? Please say something.”

“Dad beat you? He beat you because you kissed another boy? That’s why you never wanted to come back here?”

“Just thinking about this place makes all of those memories come back. I spend years trying to fight that part of me. What Dad did… I would remember it every time I so much as looked at another man at first. After.. after he died it slowly got easier, I stopped feeling his fists on my skin every time I was with another man. Then I met Christian and now Aaron and I try not to let him control my actions anymore. But Aaron reminded me that by avoiding going back to Emmerdale I was still letting him control my life and I would never stop feeling this panic whenever I even thought of coming back here. So I’m here now and I’m trying, I’m trying to do that. And I’m sorry it took me so long.”

Vic stood up from the sofa and opened her arms to wrap him into an awkward hug as he was still sat down, but she was tiny enough to somehow still make it work.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me before, but I’m glad you’re here now,” she whispered into his ear before letting go of him as a loud roar of noise came from the pub. The Dingle’s party clearly back in full swing now.

“Sounds like they can use an extra pair of hands behind the bar,” Victoria said in lieu of an exit, leaving him and Aaron alone.

“Do you want to get back in there or stay here for a bit?”

“I think… I think I’ll go and get some air.”

“Of course, do you want me to come with you?” Aaron asked with a gentle smile.

“Do you mind if I just go on my own? Think I just need to sort these thoughts out for a little bit.”

“No, course not. I’ll be in the pub once you’re ready.”

“Thanks,” Robert sighed, pressing a quick kiss against Aaron’s lips before grabbing his coat.

 

\---

 

“Hi mum,” he said softly as he kneeled down at Sarah’s grave. He hadn’t been back here in too long. He had visited her grave the last time he came back to Emmerdale. Had bought some flowers to lay onto her grave with Victoria and stared at the engraving on the stone in silence. There’s a semi-fresh bunch of flowers laying on the grave now. Victoria’s doing probably, his sister always made sure there were some flowers and that the grave site was neat. He glanced over at his father’s grave not far away and saw a similar bunch of flowers there. His stomach twisted as he saw his father’s headstone, memories fresh on his mind after telling Victoria.

“I’m sorry it’s been so long,” he whispered, feeling slightly weird talking to some grass and a piece of stone, but it’s what people did wasn’t it. He could almost hear his mother’s chuckle at that. She’d tell him off for only doing something because it’s what people did. Make him see why people do things and make sure he does them for the right reason.

“Guess I’m starting to learn not to bottle things up. Took me over 15 years, but I guess it’s never too late to start huh,” he laughed. “Aaron helped me with that, you know. Can you believe he’s the first person I’ve ever told. The first person I’ve ever trusted enough to tell. He’s brilliant mum, you would’ve loved him.”

He smiled down at the headstone sombrely at that. Meeting Aaron’s mother only making it hurt more that he could never introduce Aaron’s to his own. Could never hear her tell Aaron embarrassing childhood stories like Chas had done. She had missed so much. So much had happened in the second half of his life so far. He missed her at every single opening night, but he knew she would’ve been so proud of him. Had always been his biggest supporter.

“I wish you could’ve seen me up there mum, on that stage every night like you always knew I would be.”

There’s so much he wants to tell her, so he does, sits down on the cold ground and tells her everything.  

 

\---

 

“Where’s Robert?” His mum asked him as he climbed onto an empty barstool after helping himself to a pint.

“Needed some fresh air.”

“He alright?”

“He will be,” Aaron said a bit wistful. He didn’t really want to leave Robert on his own after he’d confessed his biggest secret to his sister, but he knew Robert needed to sort his head out for a bit.

His mum send him a slightly concerned look, clearly wondering what was up but not wanting to overstep. Which was something new, usually his mother would keep on pestering him until she got answers. He guessed she figured it was a lost battle, that he wouldn’t go and spill about his boyfriends troubles to her no matter how much she asked. And he was grateful for that, he didn’t want to betray Robert’s trust. Hoping that he would do the same one day when he finally told him his story.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I copy pasted this whole fic into a google doc so I can try and sneak in a few words whilst at work, so hopefully that'll help with getting the next chapter up quicker :P (Shh don't tell my boss)
> 
> As always kudos and comments make my writers heart soar. Getting some new comments on this really put my ass into gear to finish off this chapter actually, so yes it really helps. You can find me on tumblr at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, another update already :O! I had written about half of this ages and ages ago and when I read it back the other day after finishing the last chapter I just needed to finish it. So here it is, it's a bit of a shorter one, but it's a tough one. The tags are all there already from previous chapters, but this chapter mentions Gordon and what he did in more detail (about the same amount as on the show), so if you'd rather skip this one to keep yourself safe please do so. (If you want me to give you a brief summary of what happens in the story and how it differs from canon, instead of reading please let me know in the comments or on tumblr @sleepysuggles)

He’s on the stage of the Royal Opera House, he’s dancing and he can hear the burst of applause from the audience as he finishes off the pirouette and then all of a sudden it’s gone. The theatre doesn’t echo the applause back at him anymore and the spotlight on him feels too bright, making sweat drip from his brow.

He doesn’t know what’s going on. He turns around to look at the sides of the stage but finds no one there. No other dancers waiting in the wings to come back on, no stage hand giving directions or props. He whips his head back and squints at the bright spotlight that’s still shining down on him. He tries to look past the beam of light to look at the audience, but he doesn’t see anyone.

And then he hears it. Someone is clapping their hands together, the sound of it echoing through the theatre eerily. He whips his head from side to side trying to find the source and then his eyes land on him. He’s sitting a few rows back, just in front of the sound board. And he can’t be there, he can’t. He’s dead!

 **He’s dead!** His brain yells at him.

But the clapping continues and he sees the smirk on his face like he’s won. After all these years he has come back to haunt him and won. He looks the same as he did eighteen years ago. And his brain his telling him this can’t be real, because he’s supposed to be eighteen years older.

**No! He’s dead!**

“You can’t be here. Why are you here?!” he yells out at the man that’s finally stopped clapping.

“I came back Aaron. I’ve been waiting all this time. Waiting all this time to see you again.”

“You can’t be here! You fucking hung yourself because you’re a fucking coward!” This can’t be happening, he can’t be back. Not now. Things were fine, perfect even and he can’t be back, can’t be back to wreck his life again.

“Aaron, look at me son I’m right here, how can I be dead?”

“No, no, no. Stay away from me!” He shouts as he sees him get up from his seat. He’s at the stage in seconds, closing in on him, feels his breath on his face and suddenly he’s eight again. A little boy huddled underneath his bedsheets and he’s screaming out for him to stay away, to make everything stop.  

“Aaron,” he hears a soft voice call out to him all of a sudden. But he can’t find where it’s coming from and ‘he’ is so close now, can feel him all over him and he needs to get away. Needs to find where that other voice is coming from, that voice that keeps calling out for him. That voice spreading warmth through him, warmth that fights the dread swirling inside of him.

“Aaron. Aaron wake up, please.” It says. Robert. Robert is calling out for him, telling him to wake up. Wake up because this is all just a nightmare.

He feels hands on him, but they aren’t ‘his’. They’re soft and gentle. And he’s gasping for air, his body still thrashing around as his eyes fly open to find he’s back in his bed at the Woolpack, Robert looking at him with such worry in his eyes.

“Hey, you back with me?”

He swallows hard, heart still racing as he nods before rasping out a ‘Yeah’.

“Good, good. God Aaron you scared me half to death. You wouldn’t stop thrashing, saying stop.”

“Nightmare,” he huffed out. His father’s face still flashing behind his eyelids as he shakes off the duvet, his body soaked with sweat.

“Yeah no shit. It looked like a very bad one as well. What happened?”

He tries to shrug it off. He just wanted a shower and to forget it all again. It’s been ages since he’s had a nightmare about his father, but this one was new and it had felt so real. He tried to get out of the bed to go and get that shower, but Robert’s hand on his shoulder stops him. He flinches away from the touch. “Don’t,” he pleaded.

Robert’s hand leaves and hurt joins the worry still on Robert’s face. “Aaron, please talk to me. I just want to help. Like you helped me, yeah.”

He mulls it over in his head. What to tell Robert. If he tells him about his nightmare he needs to tell all of it and he’s not sure he’s ready for that. But Robert might be right, maybe he should let him help Aaron, like he had helped Robert. He hadn’t talked about it in so long, everyone that mattered to him had known for a long time and it had probably been too long since he’d seen his counsellor. Especially this year. He should’ve known he couldn’t just bury it, should’ve known his brain would remind him of why this year was significant.

“He would’ve been out this year,” he said out of nowhere, starting at the wrong end of the story altogether but it’s the first thing he manages to get out about it all.

“Who would? Out of where?” Robert asked confused.

He draws himself back up against the headboard, pulling his knees up against his body before he answers. “My dad. Prison.”

“What happened? Why was he inside?”

“Forget it, I shouldn’t have said anything,” he said trying to get away from Robert again. The echoes of his father’s cruel applause still ringing through his head.

“Aaron, don’t push me away, please,” Robert all but begged, concern written all over his face. “You helped, listened to me. Now let me help you.”

He bites at his lip, thinks it all over again trying to figure out how to start. How to tell Robert in as few words as possible, because he didn’t want to drag all of this up again. Knows he would’ve told Robert eventually, but it’s still so early. They’ve only been dating for a few weeks and he doesn’t know how Robert is gonna react. Doesn’t want to lose him because of this, doesn’t want things to change between them. Things were good, really good and this could all ruin it. But then he looks back up at Robert, the concern still written all over his boyfriend’s face, but a gentle smile is telling him he just wants to help. Just wants to listen to what is troubling him so much. So he tells him, all of it.

“He was inside for sexual abuse. He… he raped me when I was little,” he breathed out harshly, tears already starting to prickle behind his eyes. He hears the gasped breath of air that Robert takes, but he can’t look back at the other man yet. Knows that if he looks at him now he won’t be able to get the whole story out.

“My mum left him when I was eight. I wouldn’t stop crying. I just wanted my mum back and I didn’t understand why she had just left. He was great at first, always tried to cheer me up even though he was hurting as well. But then, then he got sacked from work because he had to take care of me all the time and he just… it all just changed. He was angry about getting sacked and he had forgotten the food, fish and chips, so he made us something else. But I didn’t like it and wouldn’t eat it. He just got so angry, send me up to bed. And I just hid under my blankets until I fell asleep. But then I woke up to something smashing downstairs and I tried to go back to sleep, but I heard the stairs creak as he came up. And for a second I thought he would just come and tuck me in like every other night, but when the door opened he just stood there, saying nothing. I tried to keep quiet, keep my breathing slow to pretend I was sleeping. But I don’t think it would’ve mattered if he thought I was asleep or not, because he just ripped the sheets away and… it hurt so much. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, not even when he left.” He tries not to feel the echoes of that night, but he can’t stop it. He remembers how he hadn’t been able to fall asleep however hard he had clenched his eyes shut. How every little sound had made him flinch and twist his fingers into the bedsheets tighter. How the smell of the fresh sheets didn’t sooth him like they normally would, but only reminded him of why they were on his bed. How to this day he hated the first day he slept in fresh sheets.  

“The next morning he said he was sorry, but that he had to do it because I had been naughty. He was the picture of the perfect father when he dropped me off at school, all smiles and niceties to my teacher and everything.” He still remembers that smile, it had looked so fake to him, but no one had seemed to notice anything different. They had just waved him off like every other day and hadn’t noticed how his shoulders relax after his father’s hands left them.  

“During the day my teacher noticed I was acting different. I used to be a bit of a troublemaker, always talking back at her and not paying attention. So when I wasn’t saying anything, wasn’t making the easy jokes like usual she already started noticing it. But then I accidentally dropped my pencil case, and all the pens were just scattered around on the floor. I guess I just panicked and I couldn’t stop apologizing. When she asked me to stay behind during lunch break I just totally freaked out. As everyone was leaving the class I couldn’t stop thinking about how she was gonna tell my dad and what he would do to me to punish me, because I had been naughty again.”

_“Please don’t tell Daddy, please.”_

“She somehow managed to calm me down, promised me she wouldn’t tell my dad. She was so shocked by my reaction. This kid who the day before had gleefully emptied a bottle of ink over someone’s schoolwork was now crying over dropping their pencil case in class.”

“She was brilliant actually. Didn’t hold a grudge on me for doing all that other stuff, but really talked to me. But I just couldn’t stop saying “ _I’m sorry for being naughty, please don’t hurt me._ ” She calmed me down and asked me what had happened, why I thought she was going to hurt me. So I told her, I told her that that was what my dad had done and I didn’t want her to hurt me as well.”

“She eventually got it all out of me, called the police and social services. I was in a group home not long after, waiting for my mum to come pick me up the next day because she wasn’t at home in Emmerdale at that time.” It had all gone so fast, he just remembered her telling him his Dad had done something very bad and that he was the naughty one not him and that she would help make it all better again. He could still remember his mother’s face as she had come and picked him up the next morning. The way she had tried so hard to hide her horror as she took in her son, the scared little boy so very different from the boy she remembered leaving at Gordon’s house only a few weeks earlier.

“I wasn’t really there for any of the trial, they just used a recording of what I’d told the police. He got eighteen years and he would’ve been out this year if he hadn’t hung himself after just one day in prison, the coward.”

He finally looks up at Robert, the other man trying to blink back tears furiously, his own running down his cheeks freely now. “Please say something?”

“I…I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe he did that to you. You were just a little kid, he should’ve been there to keep you save, not hurt you like that.” Robert paused for a second, trying to get the anger out of his voice. Hearing Aaron talk about what that man had done to him had made anger swirl in his stomach. This beautiful man in front of him had been through so much when he had only been a little boy. Through too much.

“God Aaron, you’re so strong. Look at you, you’re this strong man not afraid of anything. Chasing your dreams and not letting anything get in the way of you. He might’ve been out this year if he hadn’t been such a coward, but he’s not, he’s rotting 6ft under the ground somewhere. You won Aaron, you did back then and you do every day you wake up.”

“I know. I do know that, it took me a long time but I do know that now. It’s why I got into dancing. I wasn’t always dancing around like you when I was little, but I used it as therapy. It’s why I turn to dance whenever something is bothering me, like before we got together. I never dreamt of making a career out of it, but here I am,” He said with a laugh.

“I normally go to counselling about once a month as well, but it had been so long since I’d had a nightmare about him I thought I’d get away with skipping. I was just enjoying being with you and I guess I didn’t want to ruin the high I got from that. Guess it don’t work like that,” he shrugged with a wry look on his face. His counsellor would tell him that ignoring it wouldn’t be beneficial in a gentle but stern voice. She was good at her job like that, making him feel settled but being stern with him when he needed it as well.

“Hey, come on don’t be so hard on yourself. You were happy, you thought you were dealing with it alright. And if this tells you that you still need that session once a month that’s fine. We’ll call your counsellor today and book a session and you can talk to me as well whenever you need it, okay.”

“Yeah, alright. Can we please go and get that shower now.” The sweat was drying on his body now, and the remnants of his nightmare still made him want to rub his skin raw. But he just wanted Robert to hold him as well, wrap his strong arms around him and make him feel safe again.  

“We?”

“Not like that, just… could you hold me for a bit.”

“Of course.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is another one where nothing is written for yet, so it will probably be a while again. Definitely not just 4 days like this time, but hopefully not as long as the wait from before :|
> 
> As always kudos and comments make my writers heart soar. And you can find me on tumblr at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long again, finding time and motivation to write is hard these days... But I hope you guys enjoy this longer update :D
> 
> Oh and please check out this awesome [moodboard](https://littlelooneyluna.tumblr.com/post/174346032037/littlelooneyluna-robron-balletau-for) for this fic made by the lovely [littlelooneyluna](http://www.littlelooneyluna.tumblr.com)/[fangirlqueen87](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlqueen87/pseuds/Fangirlqueen87)

Their fly by visit to Emmerdale had been a whirlwind of emotions for both of them so they had both conked out almost as soon as their train had left for London. The journey back was long, but having slept away at least half of it they the rest of the journey looking out at the British countryside and cities flying by, talking softly. They’d stopped to get some snacks at David’s before they had headed to the train station that morning and were now sharing a bag of popcorn between them, indulging in a bit of a cheat day.

They were discussing the latest episode of The Walking Dead, well Robert was (he had some opinions alright) and Aaron was mostly just nodding along. Aaron, by no used to his boyfriend’s overly dramatic rants about TV shows, couldn’t help but smile at Robert. His hands flailing about as he tried to get his point across.

“What are you smiling about? This is serious Aaron! Why would they have gone there if they knew there were Walkers hiding in that building. They were just waiting to get attacked!”

“Hmm, sure. If you say so,” Aaron replied, the same soft look still on his face.

“Stop looking at me like that!”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m some cute kid telling you about their favourite toy.”

“You are though,” Aaron grinned.

“Shut up.”

“It’s cute,” Aaron said, pressing a soft kiss against Robert’s lips.

They heard a giggle coming from the aisle of the train. Looking up they found a little girl in a pink tutu giggling at them, lollipop dangling from her tiny fingers.  

“Well hello there little giggle bug,” Aaron said to the little girl, who stopped giggling now that Aaron was talking to her. Aaron’s soft voice making sure the wide-eyed look wasn’t because she was scared of him, just intrigued. “What are you giggling about?”

“You kissed the other mister,” she stage whispered at him.

“I did, why was that funny?”

“Because you’re two boys,” she whispered again. And Aaron’s face fell slightly, hating to think that even a sweet little kid like here could be raised homophobic, but then she whispered, ”Just like my Mummies, but two boys instead of girls.” And a grin spread to match the girl’s spread on Aaron’s face at that.

Just then a flushed looking woman with short blonde hair came rushing towards the little girl, a tiny pink bag slung over her shoulder. “Amy, you can’t just walk off like that,” she rushed out, trying to look at the little girl with a stern expression, but the relieve of having found her safe and sound could still be heard in her voice.

“But Mummy, it was so boring there. There was no one else.”

“I know Ames, but you really can’t just walk off like that, Mummy was really worried baby.”

“But then I wouldn’t have found the nice misters who kiss like you and Mumma do,” the little girl, Amy, said whilst pointing one of her tiny fingers at Aaron and Robert. Both of them blushing at the girl’s direct words.

The woman looked over at them for the first time, clearly not having noticed them before now as she had been too busy checking on her daughter.

“Oh, uhm hi. I hope she hasn’t been too much of a bother. She has a tendency to run off, especially after her ballet lessons. So much energy in those tiny bodies.”

“Hi. Don’t worry, she’s not been any bother at all, have you little giggle bug,” Aaron smiled down at Amy.

“Can we stay here until we get home Mummy, please?”

The girl’s mother looked around at the mostly empty train car and the empty seats across from Robert and him. “Do you guys mind?”

“Not at all,” Robert said, waving a hand at the seats across from them, speaking up for the first time since Amy had interrupted their kiss.

“I’m Amy and this is my Mummy Grace, what’s your name?” The little girl asked after she had climbed onto one of the empty seats, stray pieces of hair coming loose from her blonde ponytail.

“Hi Amy, I’m Aaron and this is Robert,” Aaron said, poking a finger into Robert’s side, making Amy laugh at the annoyed huff Robert gave at being poked.

She sounded out their names a few times and then looked back up at the two men again, a curious look on her face. “Are you married?” she queried, pointing another tiny finger at both of them.  

“No sweetheart, he’s just my boyfriend, but maybe one day ey,” Aaron chuckled, already charmed by this spitfire of a girl.

“Mummy and Mumma are! They had a big wedding last summer and Mummy did a speech and made Mumma cry. Then they kissed and we all had cake.” She said excitedly whilst Grace was blushing slightly at her daughter’s words, the little girl not afraid at all to tell strangers everything about her mums.

“That’s nice, I bet you had all had a great time,” Robert smiled. Amy nodding along in agreement with his words.

“So Amy, you’re in ballet?”

“Yes!

“You wanna know a secret?”

The little girl nodded furiously, excited to get to know something special. 

“We do ballet as well.”

“Really? I didn’t know boys could do ballet. There are no boys in my class.”

“There weren’t any in mine either when I was little,” Aaron said a little wistfully. Aaron continued talking to little Amy whilst Robert made polite conversation with Grace. Both of them far more intrigued by what was happening in front of their eyes. Both Amy’s and Aaron’s eyes lighting up as they talked to each other animatedly.

Robert had never seen Aaron like that, attention fully focussed on this little girl he knew for all of five minutes. He’d seen him with Moses and Isaac and the other little Dingle kids during the weekend, but that was family. It definitely set his mind whirling with thoughts of the future.

 

\---

 

“Do you ever think about getting kids,” Robert asked Aaron as they were in their taxy back home from the train station. He’d been thinking about it ever since Amy and her mum had left the train at their stop. Aaron had been talking with the little girl pretty much non-stop since she had giggled her way into their train journey. He’d encouraged her in her silly little stories and had made her laugh by pulling silly faces whilst Robert chatted with Grace.

“Huh?” Aaron hummed, half asleep again as he rested his head on Robert’s shoulder. Their journey home was short, but London traffic was crazy no matter the time of day.

“Kids. You ever think about getting them?” he asked again. It gets Aaron’s attention and he goes to sit up straight again so he can look at Robert, eyes wide.

“Not really. Work is too hectic and I’ve never been with someone long enough to really think about it.”

“You’re great with them you know. How you kept Amy entertained just now, that little girl loved you from the second you spoke to her. And all the little kids in your family wouldn’t stop asking you to play with them when we were at the pub back in Emmerdale. Even Moses and little Isaac flocked to you,” Robert said with a chuckle as he remembered how Isaac had started pulling on Aaron’s hair the minute Cain had put him in his lap. How Moses had started an impromptu game of peek-a-boo with Aaron as he had spotted them from his mother’s hip as Charity had walked into the pub from the backroom.

“Being a good big cousin to kids is different from being a parent though. Can’t just give them back at the end of the day.”

“I know, I know. And I’m not saying tomorrow, but maybe one day? Can you imagine, a little boy or girl with your curls.” And Robert surprised himself with that image. A little girl with Aaron’s curls perched on his own hip as Aaron beamed a smile at them. He had never in his life thought about getting kids. Not even with Anna, but here he was, his relationship with Aaron barely started and already thinking about having kids with him.

“Hmm, maybe. Maybe a little blonde and freckly kid to join them. Let’s stick with babysitting for now though ey.”

Robert hummed out a pleased sound before pressing a quick kiss to Aaron’s cheek as their taxi came to a stop in front of Aaron and Adam’s apartment. They’d both decided to stay over at Aaron’s house for the night instead of Robert’s. The fact that Aaron’s apartment had a stocked fridge, if Adam hadn’t eaten everything, being the deciding factor in the end.

They get inside the apartment quickly. Aaron taking both of their bags and climbing the stairs two at a time to dump their bags into his bedroom, whilst Robert goes and fixes them both a brew.

“God you two are so domesticated already.” Is the first thing Adam said, in lieu of a greeting, as they both sit down on the two seater sofa. Adam having already claimed the three seater opposite it for himself, legs sprawled out all over it.

“What?” Aaron huffed out.

“You two, domesticated. Getting each other tea and everything.”

“Uhh, that’s a normal thing to do mate. No wonder you can’t get a girlfriend if you don’t even manage to offer them a brew once in a while,” Aaron laughed.

“You know what I mean! You know how you like your tea and everything, that’s what I meant. But really mate I’ve never seen you like this. So comfortable around someone you’re with, not even with Brian.”

Aaron stayed quiet, blushing slightly at Adam’s words. It was true though, this thing between him and Robert felt different from any other relationship he had had. For one it was already going on for longer than half of his relationships. But even with Brian stuff like kids had never come up once. Brian hadn’t come home with him to Emmerdale until after a several months. And back then Aaron had been going back home a lot more than he did no because of he had still been recovering from his injury.

He hadn’t noticed Robert staring at him until the other man put a gentle hand on his leg to get his attention.

“You alright?”

“Yeah fine, just thinking,” Aaron reassured his boyfriend, shaking himself out of his thoughts.

Adam, who had clearly gotten bored of the conversation once Aaron didn’t react to his jibing any longer, had gotten up to get himself something from the kitchen. They could hear kitchen cupboards being opened and closed and cutlery clattering against porcelain as he fixed himself a snack.

“What were you thinking about?”

“Just what Adam said. It’s true innit. We have already become ‘domesticated’. We might not have noticed really, but I’ve been staying at your apartment most nights. I’m pretty sure 80% of my clothes have somehow ended up at your place. Adam noticed immediately because he had barely seen me these last few weeks making the difference more clear to him.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Robert asked, worrying his lip between his teeth in a very Aaron like manner.

Aaron thought about that. He would’ve thought the idea of being this close to Robert so quickly would frighten him, but it just made him feel calm and happy. He was really happy. He had by no means been complaining about his life before he started dating Robert, but it just added an extra layer to it all.

“No, not at all,” he finally said, sending Robert a beaming smile as he leaned forward to press a long kiss against the other man’s lips. Robert let out a surprised but happy little sound as he let himself fall back against the arm of the sofa, pulling Aaron along with him. His hands twisted into Aaron’s curls as he deepened the kiss, letting out a small huff when Aaron let his weight drop onto Robert, pressing their bodies together. The huff quickly turned into a moan as Aaron’s lower half lined up with his own.

Aaron could feel Robert’s body starting to react to the pressure, his own body not far behind as he pressed his groin against Robert with more purpose. Their lips parted but were never more than a hairbreadth apart from each other as they gasped into each other’s mouths. As Aaron closed the gap between their lips once more he let his thumb swipe over where he knew Robert’s nipple was underneath the layer of clothes.

Speaking of clothes, they were wearing far too many of them still. He let his hands wander down further to the hem of Robert’s shirt and started to pull it up. Robert letting him pull it over his head with an annoyed little sound as it meant breaking their kiss. Robert making quick work of his own shirt now that their kiss was broken. As Aaron ducked back down to Robert’s lips he couldn’t help but groan as their naked chests pressed against each other.

Aaron was just about to undo Robert’s belt when they heard a loud clatter from behind them as Adam dropped the spoon he had been holding.

“Wow! I can’t leave you two alone for 5 minutes ey,” Adam laughed, shock still on his bright red face as he tried to laugh of the awkward situation he had walked in on.

Aaron scrambled up from his position on top of Robert, trying to find where Robert had thrown his shirt. “Shit, where’s my shirt Robert?”

“I dunno, didn’t exactly look where I dropped it.”

“Here ya go mate. ‘S not like I’ve never seen ya naked before though huh,” Adam grinned as Aaron ripped the shirt from his best friend’s grasp.

“Yeah well not like this.”

“Oh we’re all adults here aren’t we,” Adam said with a chuckle as he clapped his hand onto Aaron’s shoulder. “Next time try your own room ey mate, I use this couch as well.”

 

\---

 

“Are you really trying to start again after Adam just walked in on us?” Aaron asked exasperated as Robert pressed kisses against his neck. The embarrassment of getting walked in on still hadn’t fully gone, not even now that they were back in his own room.

“We’re in your room now aren’t we,” Robert just grinned back as he started sucking on Aaron’s neck with more purpose, making sure not to leave a mark seeing as they were back on stage tomorrow. “And Adam’s gone to the theatre now anyway, so he can’t walk in on us anymore.”

Aaron sighed, his body already starting to Robert’s ministration. He was right though, Adam had left for the theatre half an hour ago to start preparation for tonight’s performance. He missed it, even just being away from the Opera House for three days was enough to make him start itching to go again. He even missed morning classes, his body not used to not getting the rigorous workout it usually got every morning.

As Robert moved his hands underneath his t-shirt he could think of different ways to give his body a workout though. Letting out a sigh he gave into Robert’s touch and pulled the other man down for a hungry kiss. He could feel Robert grin against his lips, knowing he had managed to pull Aaron around.

It didn’t take long before his shirt was once again pulled over his head and with the knowledge of not getting interrupted for at least four hours Robert took his time admiring his chest.

Robert’s lips found their way to his nipple, his tongue swirling around it a few times before biting down onto it softly. Aaron let out a moan, his fingers twisting into Robert’s blonde locks. The blond looked up at him with dark eyes as he moved over to the other nipple.

By now Aaron was cursing his tight jeans, as they were starting to become a serious problem now. His hips bucked up towards Robert, silently letting him know of his needs and it didn’t take more for Robert’s hands to start working on his belt. With no spoon clattering to the ground to interrupt them Robert had removed his belt and opened his jeans quickly, relieving some of the pressure on his hard cock.

Robert’s hand rubbed down over where his cock was now bulging up into the opening of his jeans, retrieving another groan from Aaron with a grin. “Robert, stop teasing,” Aaron groaned, trying to keep himself from whining but failing miserably.

Robert just send him another wicked smile, before he finally drew down Aaron’s jeans, pulling his underwear down with them. Aaron hissed out a breath as the cold air hit his now naked cock, but Robert’s warm hand wrapped around it quickly, a welcome touch.

Robert’s eyes met his as he moved his hand in slow, determined strokes, a playful glint playing in them and Aaron knew he was in for something. Would Robert tease him until he was begging or would he pull out all of his best moves to get him to come as quick as possible? He couldn’t read his expression, but he knew that whatever it turned out to be it would be amazing so he just let Robert do what he wanted and gave himself over to his boyfriend.

 

Half an hour later he was cursing his earlier self, because he’d been on the edge of coming for almost 20 minutes now. Robert never actually letting him come. His hand leaving his aching and now bright red cock every time he was about to burst, He let out another whimper as Robert’s fingers ran over his cock ever so lightly, making it twitch up at the touch.

“Please,” he begged, his fingers twisted into his bedsheets and his body drenched in sweat. He could barely form the single word he had uttered, all of his brain power now focussed on his aching cock.

“Hmm,” was all that Robert said, wrapping his hand around Aaron’s cock once more. The gasp that left his lips would’ve been embarrassing had he not been so far gone already. “Please what Aaron?”

“P-Please just let me come Robert, I can’t…” he broke off, not managing to gasp out any more words in between hitched breaths as Robert’s hand didn’t stop moving over him. He was getting close again, his hips twitching for release. Robert kept going and going and surely he would let him come now, Aaron was so close he could almost taste it. He was so close, so close and the Robert’s hand left him again. His hips twisted up in a tantrum as he tried to get the friction back, a high pitched whine leaving his bitten raw lips. “Fuckkk, fuck you!” he cursed.

Robert just grinned, “Just a little more, you can do it.”

“No, no, no, come on Robert,” he moaned, his hips thrusting up into air once more. And just as his body started to calm down a bit again Robert’s hand wrapped around his cock again, pulling him right back to the edge in just a few strokes. A determined look crossed over his boyfriend’s face as he kept his quick strokes going, his hand twisting over the head of his cock every time and finally, finally he kept going.

“Yes, yess… fuck!” Aaron groaned as he finally got the release he had been waiting for, for so long. His whole body tingled and twitched almost painfully as he kept on coming and coming as Robert kept jerking him off until the very last drop.

I took him a while to get his body to calm back down again, his breathing coming in quick bursts as his body kept on twitching. Once he finally managed to focus his gaze back onto Robert he found the other man staring at him with would could only be described as awe.

It didn’t take long for Robert to come as well. His own clothes had come off not long after Aaron’s had. His hand worked over himself quickly, eyes focussed on Aaron’s as he pulled himself to his release. Robert came with a low groan, his come streaking over Aaron’s still heaving chest.

Robert let himself fall down onto the bed next to Aaron as they both caught their breath. He eventually curled onto his side and ran his fingers over Aaron’s stomach, rubbing his come into his skin.

“Ugh, gross Robert,” Aaron said in disgust as his boyfriend continued to rub his own semen into his skin.

“It’s hot, properly claimed now aren’t you,” Robert joked. Aaron just send him a disgruntled look. “Oh stop moaning, you’d have needed a shower anyway.”

Aaron just groaned and buried his head into Robert’s chest, not ready to move from his position just yet. Robert’s arm wrapped around him, his still clean hand running through Aaron’s hair soothingly as they allowed themselves a few more minutes of laziness before they really needed to get into the shower.

 

\---

 

Waking up early the next morning was harder than he had expected, but he was grateful he could get back to dancing and back into his usual routine again. Robert however was even worse than him with the early wake up call, pulling the blankets over his head with a groan to try and block out the sound of the alarm.

“Get up lazy bones,” Aaron chuckled after he had turned the alarm off. He was by no means a morning person, but once the alarm went off he got out of bed immediately not letting the warm bed tempt him into staying in it for another five minutes.

“Five more minutes,” Robert said in a sleep gruff voice, face still buried underneath the blankets.

“We’ve got class in an hour, get up.”

Robert just groaned and kept his head buried underneath the blankets not about to move for at least five more minutes.

“Fine, you want coffee?”

He could hear a muffled ‘yes’ and shook his head as he made his way downstairs to make himself and his lazy boyfriend their morning cuppa. As he got into the kitchen Adam was already there munching on some toast with marmite, sending him a marmite sticky lipped grin.

“I don’t know how you can eat that shite,” Aaron said shaking his head as Adam took another big bite. He grabbed two coffee mugs and turned on the coffee machine, letting the dull whirring of the machine sooth his still sleepy brain.

“Where’s lover boy?”

“Don’t call him that. He’s still in bed, the lazy git.”

“Who you calling a lazy git,” Robert huffed as he walked into the kitchen, gratefully accepting the coffee mug that Aaron offered him.

“Well you’re the last one out of bed, so take a guess,” Aaron said with a cheeky grin, before pressing a kiss to Robert’s temple. Robert turned his head to ask for a proper kiss, which Aaron gave easily before scrunching up his nose as Robert’s morning breath hit his nose. “Your breath stinks,” he teased pulling back from the kiss to go and make himself and Robert some breakfast. He checked the clock to see if they had time for an omelette. There were still 50 more minutes until they needed to be at work, so he grabbed a pan and some eggs. He wasn’t world’s best cook, but over the years he’d found a few recipes that had turned into his staples and a delicious but healthy breakfast omelette was one of his faves.

“You making me one as well then?” Robert asked as he hooked his chin over Aaron’s shoulder to have a look at what he was making. As Aaron grabbed an egg, to break it into a bowl, he felt Robert’s arms sneak around his waist in a hug. It made moving around a lot more difficult, but as he felt Robert’s nose press into his shoulder he couldn’t help but let himself sink into the hug. It felt nice, those strong arms around him as Robert’s soft hair tickled against his skin. He leaned back into Robert slightly as one of the other man’s hands sneaked underneath Aaron’s loose pyjama top.

“I’m trying to make us breakfast Robert,” Aaron groaned as Robert’s hand sneaked further up his shirt, his fingers tweaking a nipple as his lips moved to Aaron’s neck. He was trying his very best not to get any eggshells into the bowl as he cracked another egg in between kisses.

As he tried to move to grab a whisk from the kitchen drawer Robert’s arms tightened around him, not letting him move from the spot.

“Robert, we’re gonna be late if you don’t let me get on with this,” Aaron laughed trying to pry Robert’s arms from around his waist. He felt Robert’s head shake against his shoulder, his boyfriend clearly not about to let him go anytime soon. Aaron sighed before trying to shuffle both himself and Robert over to the drawer that held the whisk. He shuffled back to the stove and whisked up the eggs, added some herbs and spices and then realised he still needed some butter for the pan. As Robert still wasn’t about to let go he started shuffling towards the fridge and of course that’s when Adam walked back in and instantly burst out laughing.

“What the hell are you doing. Oh my god it’s like you have a sloth stuck to your back.”

Robert looked up at Adam with a frown, before finally letting go of Aaron with an annoyed huff and letting himself drop down onto one of the kitchen chairs.

Now free Aaron quickly grabbed the butter from the fridge and went to make their breakfast. The frown on Robert’s face didn’t lift until Aaron put a plate of food in front of him and he was once again reminded that his boyfriend really wasn’t a morning person.

\---

 

His body was protesting more than he’d like to admit. The few days without any actual work out were taking their toll on his body. He bit his lip to keep in the groan trying to escape from his lips as he lifted his left leg up onto the bar to stretch it out. It had been a very long time since he had gone more than a single day without at least a morning warm up. Usually he’s still try to work one in on his days off, but with travelling to Emmerdale early on Saturday he hadn’t had the time to do one. Then the ugly wake-up call on Sunday had left him feeling so shaky that he hadn’t felt like doing a work out either, even though it usually helped shake off the nightmares. And then yesterday they had left early again to catch their train back home. The work out his body had gotten later in the day clearly hadn’t been enough to compensate for the weekend without any form of exercise.

He looked over to where Robert was stretching, his boyfriend finally fully woken up, but with a similar grimace on his face. Their eyes met and they shared a little look that said they would never let it get this far again, just to save themselves the bother.

As morning class went on they learned that their ballet mistress wouldn’t be going easy on them either. She was eager to get her principal dancers back in shape for that night’s performance.

Morning class was followed by a rehearsal for that night’s performance to get them back into the swing of things again, before they broke for a late lunch. They decided to go to one of their favourite cafés in Covent Garden. The area was crowded with tourists, like usual around this time of day, but they managed to grab a seat on the outdoor terrace. They let themselves fall into the soft cushions of the chairs, ready to soak up some early spring sun as they waited for their orders to arrive.

“London really is great when the sun decides to show its face isn’t it,” Robert sighed as he lifted his head up towards the sun.

“Hmm, yeah. This is the perfect weather, not grey like usual and not too hot either. Thank God I don’t have to take the tube into work during the peak of summer anymore. That London funk was the worst!” He laughed.

“Don’t remind me, if I think back hard enough I can still smell it,” Robert said pulling a disgusted face. They continued to talk amongst themselves, watching the tourists flit by around them. Their food arrived not much later and they indulged in some people watching, the tourists providing them ample entertainment. They couldn’t help but laugh as a haggard looking father desperately tried to coax his teenage children into participating in their family activity instead of burying their noses into their phones.

 

\---

 

The day continues with more rehearsals, before they have two hours to spend at home. Adam has made them all dinner and the three of them happily talk about their day, before Robert rushes off to his apartment to get some clean clothes so he can stay at Aaron’s for another night.

They meet back up at the theatre, some of the corps already doing their warm up for the performance as they change into their work out gear. After a full day of rehearsals this warm up goes a lot easier than morning class had, their bodies back to feeling like normal.

They fall into their regular routine easily, changing into their costumes, before getting their make-up done. It’s nothing too flashy both just accentuating their features as the show is more story focussed.

They climb the stairs towards the stage and he can hear the murmur of people getting to their seats. It still sends a thrill down his spine as the sound grows louder the closer they get to the stage. Excited adrenaline is pumping through his blood as he waves bye to Robert, who takes his place at the other side of the stage.

The sound of the audience dies down as the curtain is raised and Ruby steps onto the stage, the audience enthralled from the first second. He looks over towards Robert and sends him a big grin before they both enter the stage from opposite sides. The spotlight warm on his skin as he dances his first steps and gets lost in the performance.    

 

Everything is going well, they hadn’t forgotten anything during their few days away from the theatre and everything had gone smoothly. They’re nearly at the end of the performance and he’s just about to enter the stage again for his next part when he sees Robert collapse, a loud screamed ‘ahhh!’ echoing through the theatre.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for that cliffhanger, please don't hate me. I couldn't help myself though, everything was just going too perfectly :O (This was always gonna happen, but I only decided to go about it this way today)
> 
> Anyways as always kudos and comments make my writers heart soar. And you can find me on tumblr at [sleepysuggles](http://www.sleepysuggles.tumblr.com)


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